Monday, 6 June 2016

An Idea For the History Channel

For the past decade, off and on.....I've been ranting and whining about the History Channel showing mostly fake shows (fake lumberjack, fake gold-prospecting, fake Amish-mafia, fake-etc).

So, I've come to new and nifty idea for a History Channel show.....fake farming.

It'll revolve around four fake farms out in some rural area, where fake and epic problems and daily chaos roam.

Farm 1: Walter, Patty, and their son Eugene.  Walter will have some $15,000 bull that he bought, not realizing that it's killed the past two owners who had the bull.  Patty will evidentally be having an affair on the side with the UPS guy and the local minister.  Eugene will be some wiz kid who is continually making home-made dynamite and setting video-cam action from the barn roof.  Occasionally a county Ag agent will stop by to give sixty minutes on farming but no one knows that the guy has just a Baptist College degree and is mostly reading out of a 1926 farm text book.

Farm 2: Kitty, Wanda (Kitty's lesbian GF), Percey and Daryl (the ladies each have a son), and each kid is known for engineering feats (they built a 600 ft grain silo with money that grandma gave them).  Kitty knows enough about farming to put on a 3x5 card.  Wanda grows marijuana and keeps this a secret from Wanda and the sons.

Farm 3: Curtis, Tippy, and their three sons.  Curtis spent seven years at some agricultural college (never graduating) and can talk for hours and hours about the science of farming.  Tippy gets by with four hours a sleep per day, and is in some act of farming for the remaining 20 hours.

I honestly don't know where the History Channel went off-track and doomed the entire idea of telling history with a bunch of fake shows.  But at this point.....maybe a fake farming show would make perfect sense.