Sunday, 9 April 2017

The World of Worry

In our mighty world....we worry.

We worry about gas prices, chicken prices, corn prices, electricity prices, natural gas prices, and pizza delivery prices.

We will worry about grandma's impending death, the dog who is fourteen years old this year, the 1978 Ford out back which is on its fourth transmission, and the tree that is leaning across the yard at a 12-degree pitch.

We worry about the Alabama governor who might actually be certifiably crazy.

We worry about the store being out of fresh grapes or strawberry's or melons.

We will worry that the butcher might only have fatty sirloin steaks tomorrow when we shop.

We worry that our company is crapped-out with incompetent managers and bonus money flows like the Mississippi into the CEO's pocket while talks of a merger or a bankruptcy occur.

We worry about cheap airline tickets which are non-existent today.

We worry about flying through JFK and if we might be stuck in Manhattan tonight at the Roosevelt, with a breakfast in the morning at $32 per person.

We will worry about the 44-year old bus at Grand Central Station that would take us back to JFK, for $19 and whether the Koran bus-driver understood what we asked.

We worry about the doctors office, Nurse Wanda and whether everything is sanitized there.

We worry about the wonderful nurse doing our blood-pressure check who has the open blouse and a 44DD cup....and whether our blood pressure is accurate or over-accurate.

We worry about McDonalds switching over to fat-free fries.

We worry that Wendys will give up on regular chilli and serve diet-chilli.

We worry if Pepsi will redo the receipe and add butterscotch to the recipe.

We worry about Coke adding 33 more flavors of Coke, including one that has turnip-flavor and B-12 vitamins.

We worry about aliens who might come tonight and "probe" us.

We worry that Bigfoot might actually come out of the woods and engage with us into a conversation on Trump's Syria bombing, and we just aren't prepared for this kind of chat.

We worry about cattle mutilations and whether the black helicopters are really the nuclear department or from the Mexican Army.

We worry about Matt Lauer and if he might one day just walk off the stage of the Today Show and marry Britney Spears.

We worry that Oprah might actually lose weight and keep it off.

We worry that the news people might actually run out of news to report tonight.

We worry that the networks might start a new soap opera for daytime TV entitled Washington Democrats (with sexy hot lust scenes).

We worry that Pro Wrestling might go bankrupt, with Roller Derby, and we'd be stuck with tennis or bowling to watch on Monday nights.

We worry that Mike Tyson might actually be able to act and get a Oscar next year.

We even worry about global warming, global cooling, global climate change, polar bears who might be dying or might be attacking environmentalists, and even the amount of peppermint in the air at any given time.

Frankly, we worry an awful lot. Not to criticize our magnificent world....but maybe things will just work out and tomorrow the sun will rise.....bacon and waffles will be in the air....and life will go on. Maybe. Just maybe.

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