Thursday, 9 February 2017

The Bigfoot Capital

Down south in the state of Alabama (my home state) we have a interstate connection (I-65) that goes between Mobile and Montgomery.....which passes through Evergreen.  It's safe to say that Evergreen doesn't have much going on for it's near 4,000 resident population (note, they've near 50 under 4,000).

Most people who do pass through....mostly driving from the Northeast down to New Orleans or returning from some two-day blast in New Orleans.  If you stop...it's mostly fuel, Ding-Dongs, or Mountain Dew.

Tuesday night, folks from the City Council met up and determined that some draft measure was fit to pass....they'd make Evergreen the official Bigfoot capital of the state of Alabama.  Up until that point, we hadn't had a official capital for Bigfoot in Alabama.

I should note politically, it passed unanimously....meaning it was something that both Republicans and Democrats could agree upon....either sadly, or in the epic sense.

Now, most folks would say it's a safe measure....no cost or such.  I would disregard that no cost deal....the first thing some Republicans will want to do is stage some erection of a fancy upscale statue from some guy out in west Texas.  The Democrats will counter that proposal that only a fancy Italian-made Bigfoot statue would be fitting for the city.

Within weeks, it'll be decided to run up some Bigfoot festival.....with booze stands and such, and the anti-alcohol crowd will get all hyped up and angry about such an idea.

A Bigfoot beauty queen pageant?  A Bigfoot pie contest?  A Bigfoot costume outfit?  A Bigfoot hunt? The list potential goes on and on.

The thing about this type of measure is that it attracts witty intellectual geeks like Germans to comment in a negative way.  With so much misery in America, surely they (the city council) find more corrective actions to fix America.  Probably in the past ten years though....I doubt if they've had more than ten Germans pull off the interstate and fuel-up....so no one much is that familiar with the city or local Bigfoot conditions.

How far might things go?  Back forty years ago....a gas station out in Colorado used to have some "thing" advertised at their station, and you could pay $1 to step into the room to look at the "thing".  Afterwards, you'd have a laugh and try not to admit that you paid a dollar to see some bogus attraction called the "thing".  Maybe in the case of Evergreen.....they ought to stage some display jail-room with some guy or gal in a Bigfoot suit and charge folks $5 (inflation rates in 2017) to see a live Bigfoot.  Then all these Philly guys or Boston folks would stop off and want to brag to their buddies that they finally saw Bigfoot.

As much you guess....we folks from Alabama like to have a bit of humor in our lives, and it tends to always go a step beyond reality.