A Story That's Not Woeful

Yesterday, the Washington Post had a very serious and woeful story over this family in the DC area...the Waleses....who have two kids with serious health issues.

It was a long and very depressing over the family, and the chief item that the reporter wanted you to know....was that the family was to be kicked out of their home. They'd missed payments, and were behind. The community was behind them. The local church was behind them. They wanted to stay in the home. They had supposedly worked hard to get the loan rearranged and thought that they'd be approved....and they weren't.

Throughout this really sad piece....I bought into the story, and felt someone ought to do something. Here was a former Air Force guy....retired, with a pension, and now working with a yearly salary of $120k. His wife was a former Air Force vet and had a disability payment of $800 a month. At this point, I started scratching my head. This couple had a significant amount of money coming in. Pension of likely $22k a year, disability payment of $10k roughly a year, and $120k a year? The couple has a four-star health insurance plan that actually covered the vast amount of hospital costs for the two kids. Something ain't right.

Then the reporter lets you know that they'd had some issue from 2002 and gone bankrupt. So they come into DC and buy another home in 2006 with a massive loan. I started scratching my head again. Wouldn't competent bank folks stand up and stop them at the door? No. The bank said sure.....here's the loan paperwork and readily agreed to this mess.

So here is the curious thing....they buy a 2,200 square foot house for $415k. Their down-payment? Five thousand dollars. With 6.375 interest, their monthly payment was $3,300.

$3,300 a month for your payment? What idiot would sign up for that kind of deal? Toss in two cars, which I'm guessing are both on the fairly new side, and you've got at least another $1000 a month on car insurance, registration & taxes, and the car payment.

By the end of this, I really didn't feel woeful or sad over the couple. I wish their kids a lot of luck in their medical process...but this is a couple that really needs to find themselves a house outside of the beltway....maybe halfway to Richmond....and just rent it for two or three years to get their mess cleaned up.

I realize that some folks will be upset with me over the sad medical story over their kids and this terrible mess with losing their house, but it's another American family that really haven't ever grasped their financial situation. You put down $5k for a $415k house, and you want me to take you serious? As a minimum.....you should have had $75k, and hopefully around $125k for the down-payment. No one should have prepared themselves for $3,300 a month on mortgage.

This is just one family out of thousands across the country that never understood finances and were willing to put themselves into serious jeopardy. The banks allowed them to do this. And we all sit here now in a downward economic spiral.....because of stupidity around the entire room. The protectors of the gate....the banks....should have done their job, but they just didn't grasp that part.

UPDATE: (two days later) The bank involved in this deal has come up....especially after newspaper coverage, and created a brand-new deal. The couple is having a lawyer review this but likely will accept.

The comical thing? It's now turned into a forty year mortgage. Imagine this....with a couple who are both in their late 40's. The cherry on this deal? Even at the end of the forty years.....they still have to pay $100k to take full ownership.

So you can imagine the bank sitting there and collecting payments for twenty-five-odd years and they each pass away.....having made easily made payments worth $500k on this $415k house yet still having fifteen years of payments to go, and the bank takes full possession. So it's almost like a lease deal, and the couple gets nothing in the end. A lose-lose-lose scenario, which everyone likes.

Our Bama Gal

My brother sent me this story out of the Sand Mountain area of Bama.

The best we can see...is that the local city department had been using their tractor and parked over near some carwash in town (Sumiton, if you wanted to know this), and then it up and went missing.

Someone apparently then asked around and referred things to some gal, Tiffany (we won't mention her entire name because it just isn't the gentlemanly thing to do in dragging a good ladies name in the dirt).

The cops then were on the chase for this gal, who would be later charged with first-degree tractor theft (a serious crime in Bama under any circumstance).

Witnesses alerted the cops to the fact that Tiffany was neatly and lustily dressed in a swimsuit of some type....left mostly to our imagination....as she swung out on highway 78 or Old Warrior Road (depending your view of highway naming).

The cops actually found Tiffany at her home, and she collapsed during heavy interrogation (probably three to five questions), and was prepared to point out the location of this tractor in question (somewhere on Brickyard Road).

Tractor stealing is a fairly serious crime in Bama. I'm guessing the cops will give the case over to the county DA, and Tiffany could be looking at two years in prison. If she were to fess real quick and admit alcohol or pills impaired her judgement, that she'd been a Baptist member for a while, or donated some money over to the Democratic Party of the state....she might get off with just four months in the county jail....just my humble guess.

The thing about this...is that it's likely trigger a severe emotional toll on Bama guys as they imagine this lusty gal in a swimsuit....maybe one of them Florida styles that make a guy weep.....riding a tractor.

I noticed throughout this story that they intentionally left the manufacturer of the tractor out of the story...so it's not a noted Massey Ferguson or John Deere. A bikini-clad gal on a John Deere would tear the heart out of most Bama guys.

So deep in the heart of Bama, Tiffany is out on bail (my guess) and taking a phonecall or two from local guys who'd be wondering if she was available on Friday night. The thing is that fall is quickly approaching and this bikini thing has a limit approaching. By mid-October, it'll be too late in the season to think much about this, and we will have all sunk into NCAA football by that point.

The Hell with Push-to-Talk

As most of you know....I work in a unique environment, and have been for over thirty years. Working for the Air Force or the Pentagon, you often have to work in secure areas. So there's always the security mafia that you have to engage and work against.

There are certain things that exist, such as the "push-to-talk" phone handle. It's a regular phone instrument but if you want to let your voice be heard at any time while talking...you have to push this green button. You hold the button, until you finish....or keep holding it throughout the entire discussion.

In certain vaults....it's absolutely required, and you grow to hate it hour by hour. A simple ten-minute phone conversation requires you to keep holding the green button and you start to get tired after five minutes.

In other vaults....it's typically optional. This means you never see it unless the security mafia makes a big fit. Everyone hates push-to-talk. It's a false security item that makes people think that everything is secure, but it's really not helping much at all.

So for months in my new office at the basement of the Pentagon....it was never required. With the new VOIPs we put in....it's now a mandatory thing. I'm the guy passing these stupid push-to-talk handles out now. Everyone hates this.

So around customer number six today as I'm passing these out....she states that she's got carpel-tunnel. I'm beginning to sense the perfect argument against the security mafia. I asked....so, do you have paperwork? Yes. So we are going to present this lady to the security folks and face up to problem number one.

If she succeeds....dozens of folks will go and visit their doctor within four weeks....and get their old handles back. Then I asked myself about all these old folks in the group. We have at least twenty folks over 55 years old. They have arthritis and could easily present another doctor's note to cover their issue.

Heck, there could be 19 year old enlisted punks who realize this carpel thing and then get themselves a profile. I can already see my boss, the Colonel, all peppered up and asking why 100 folks in the organization have profiles and carpel noted now? I'll stand and grin as I explain this.

I didn't really care one way or another. You see....I'm a duct-tape guy. I know the mighty power of duct-tape. And I merely grinned at the security mafia when they first brought this up.

It's funny working for the military. You'd never realize the mess one department creates for folks and how things get worked out in the end.

The List of Bad Toys Quote

"With iPods and iPads and Xboxes and PlayStations, none of which I know how to work....information becomes a distraction, a diversion, a form of entertainment, rather than a tool of empowerment, rather than the means of emancipation,"

President Obama
- Note: He didn't mention Blackberry in this list of bad toys....which he basically sleeps with. Nor did he mention Twitter.