An Alabama Advertisement

 I sat and pondered over the announcement from California...starting in 2035....you would not be able to buy new gas/diesel cars in the state.  It was a long pause, and then I came to this idea for a advertisement....probably to be done by Mayor Battle of Huntsville, or perhaps soon-to-be Senator 'Tubby'. 

It would open with a guy on a mule, and talking up the virtues of mule-riding and a Alabama-bred mule.  You'd talk about the 'power', the bridle....the saddle....and the walking pace of a mule. 

Then you hype up that this is a Alabama Mule, and starting in 2035, Alabama will be proud and ready to sell the Alabama-brand Mule (version 1.0, probably three years old) to California folks.  

Naturally, we'd indicate that he/she was not involved in any pollution stuff, or carbon business.  

Then we'd bring up that he/she was fully trained, and usually capable of 4.8 mph, or the lesser/more gentle pace of 3.2 mph.

Then we'd have clean and non-modern names for our mules....'Honest-Hank', 'Slow-Sam', or 'Buttermilk'.  

These Mules would be delivered to the state border of California, and you could pick them up at the station and ride the final 500 miles home to your house in Malibu.

For those wanting a two-mule deal....we'd offer a 10-percent off discount for the second mule. 

Then finally, we'd hand you a certificate that this was an American-bred Mule....having nothing to do with China.

With that, Governor Ivey would come on the last ten seconds, shedding a tear or two....that we do all we could help those poor California folks out, in this hour of need....hauling mule after mule across the US....to those poor people there in San Francisco or LA....giving them some element of transportation.  Yes, even from Alabama, we have compassion for idiots.