Joleen

 In a decade, I expect Meta (formerly Facebook) to have a virtual inter-play world created.

So you come home from work, and put on the helmet, and suddenly your virtual 'wife' Joleen appears.  

Joleen is wonderful.

Joleen has the physical look of Marylyn Monroe, Dolly Parton, and Greta Garbo....combined.

Joleen has a vast knowledge of NCAA football....citing scores, players, and coaches going back to the early 1960s.

Joleen knows every inch of the highway between Pulaski, Tenn to Ardmore, Tenn....down to the number of mailboxes, the approximate roadkill average, and who lives in what house.

Joleen openly weeps over Cry, Cry, Cry by George Jones.

Joleen sings Vince Gill songs around the clock.

Joleen worships every sentence you utter.

Joleen preorders your groceries for you....ensuring you buy only nutritional food, no beer, and only premium coffee.

Joleen keeps a tally over your heat and electricity usage, telling you at least once a week that you need to be aware of cost.

Joleen tracks all of your relatives and their geo-locations....making you aware of Uncle George's visits to a nudie bar, and Aunt Mary's occasional visits to a mental health clinic.

Joleen laughs over Minnie Pearl jokes from the 1960s, and continually repeats these monthly.

Joleen suggests occasionally that your political stance is too far right-wing.

Joleen often makes digital cat-picture pillows.....which Meta ships one to you every four weeks (for $49, from China).

Joleen puts on a cowboy outfit occasionally to shock you and suggest fantasy situations where the two of you might go rob a bank in Dodge City, and escape off into the hills where Marshall Dillon will hunt you down.

Joleen often takes you to five-star digital hotels in Beverley Hills when some digital guy named Jose serves you oysters and Champaign.  

Joleen always asks about your day, and seems to care....even if it's fake digital 'care'.

Joleen will on rare occasions puff on a cigarettes' and slip into a raspy voice..

Joleen will claim that she's been to Iceland, Finland, Norway and Sweden.  She acts like she's lived there her entire life. 

Joleen comforts you, when you feel despair or in a hopeless situation.  

Joleen will sit with you in the virtual world and watch episodes of Hee Haw, Barnaby Jones, Dallas, and Zena.  

Joleen is 100-percent fake.  But you get used to this virtual world Joleen and can't see ever leaving her.