Why I Wouldn't Teach

 Years ago, after the Air Force career, for a brief week or two....I contemplated the teaching profession.  Various angles were being created in the late 1990s to 'herd' military members with degrees to remote/rural school districts.  I decided to skip that deal.

Look at things today.....it's a no-win possibility.  

As fall would approach and the new school year would arrive.....in 2022, I'd expect 24 students:

1.  A  CIS guy.

2. A lesbian who dresses in wrestling attire.

3.  Two transgender girls.

4.  A witch.

5.  A carbon copy of Elon Musk.

6.  A 12-hour-a-day-gamer.

7.  A female Elvis impersonator.

8.  A alcoholic girl.

9.  Some kid who claims he's invisible.

10. At least one kid who is a  drug-addict by age 14.

11.  Some girl who dresses as Batwoman, and tongue-kisses everyone in the class.

12. Some boy who claims he's the son of Satan.

13.  Some boy who claims he's 50-percent Neanderthal, 50-percent Viking, and 50-percent Elf.

14. A voodoo priest.

15.  Some kid who claims he came from another planet and is an alien.

16.  Some girl who shows up after drinking four espressos for breakfast, and downing two Mountain Dews.....hyped-up on caffeine for the first three hours.

17.  Some girl who is paranoid schizophrenic, talking to invisible friends, and has shaved her head.

18. Some girl who suffers from Arithmophobia (fear of numbers) and Papyrophobia (fear of paper).  Testing is impossible with this one.

19. Some boy who has been admitted six times to mental clinics, and continually released after getting back on medication.  

20. Some boy who only wears shorts and trenchcoats (no shirts), with combat boots.

21.  Some boy who is apparently having a relationship with a 44-year old female school-bus driver, and seems to only read romance novels.  

22. Some girl who claims she bundled up four different demons inside of herself, and a new character seems to emerge every hour. 

23.  Some boy who dresses like Captain Jack Sparrow (the pirate) and sings immoral pirate songs throughout the class. 

24.  Some girl who says she 'heals' people....wanting to constantly touch sick members of the class to fix their problems.

This is not a sane world, and the school system is screwed once you reach this many 'nutcases'.