What Would I Have Done At 3 AM If a Hammer-Dude Entered?

 Because of my level of bad hearing....I probably would have not heard much of the entry.  My wife?  She would have heard the glass break and hauled ass out of bed to direct me to the 'problem'.

Being in the US....I would have had a choice of a shotgun with buckshot, or a 9-mil pistol.  About 30 seconds would have been spent considering the situation, lack of knowledge, and me being only 50-percent awake at this point. Shotgun and buckshot....the pick.

I would have proceeded down the hall....encountered the Hammer-Dude....giving one single warning, then seeing no positive reaction.....fired one round into him.

With him in pretty good pain from the buckshot....I would have lingered there...asking him if he were 'right-with-Jesus', a registered Democrat, the last time he voted, and his preference for Star Wars.  Then I would have called the police, and ambulance.  

Based on his answers....I would have told the cops that he was mentally lacking, and probably a nutcase.  Then the cops would have admired my shotgun and asked where I bought it.  

By 4:30 AM, the situation would have closed out.  I would have told the wife that I was fully awake and probably deserved a full-up breakfast.  She would have given me a 30 minute lecture then about the hazards of living in America and how it just wasn't right to shoot people.  I would have gotten dressed up then and gone off to the local Waffle-House....to have a $20 plate of heaping hash browns with five sausages, with overly buttered toast.    

Returning home by 6:30 AM....I would have encountered the Channel Nine news team, and given a 3-minute interview.