The producers would automatically mandate that there has to be some type of sexual connection.
So from Petticoat Junction:
Uncle Joe would have be iron-clad gay and mostly attracted to NY City guys.
Kate Bradley (the hotel gal) would have to be an transsexual (originally named Bob).
At least one of the three daughters would have to be a lesbian.
Sam Drucker would have to be into new fetish every single week.
From the Brady Bunch?
Carol (the wife) would have three to five lovers on the side.
Bobby (at age 13) would be attracted to only black women over the age of 30.
Mike (the husband) would have disco-dance routines only with men.
Alice (the housekeeper) would be swinging on Friday nights with various Hispanic men over the age of 65.
So this is the problem of producing a show today, because a quarter of the population wants to know the sexual action of each character.
Was Maxwell Smart only into women? Was Mr Ed only interested in female horses? Did Timmy (from Lassie) grow up and run off to Silver City with Nurse Watson? Was Otis from Mayberry never hooking up with the post office lady? Why was Hoss from Bonanza not married at age 35? Did Detective Dietrich (Barney Miller) wear silky women's clothing after wrapping up duty? Was Ed Dawson from Green Acres secretly dressing up on weekends as Queen Elizabeth? Why was Scotty from Star Trek never hooking with the Andorian alien women?
I know....it's some weird consequence of society....that a quarter of the population wants the 'down-and-dirty' of fictional characters. It's like we couldn't get enough lusty stuff out of Baywatch, and we want triple the amount of lust out of fiction.
The question is....have we peaked, or will this get worse over the next decade?
1 comment:
Peaked... or peeking?
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