The Hell with Push-to-Talk

As most of you know....I work in a unique environment, and have been for over thirty years. Working for the Air Force or the Pentagon, you often have to work in secure areas. So there's always the security mafia that you have to engage and work against.

There are certain things that exist, such as the "push-to-talk" phone handle. It's a regular phone instrument but if you want to let your voice be heard at any time while talking...you have to push this green button. You hold the button, until you finish....or keep holding it throughout the entire discussion.

In certain vaults....it's absolutely required, and you grow to hate it hour by hour. A simple ten-minute phone conversation requires you to keep holding the green button and you start to get tired after five minutes.

In other vaults....it's typically optional. This means you never see it unless the security mafia makes a big fit. Everyone hates push-to-talk. It's a false security item that makes people think that everything is secure, but it's really not helping much at all.

So for months in my new office at the basement of the Pentagon....it was never required. With the new VOIPs we put in....it's now a mandatory thing. I'm the guy passing these stupid push-to-talk handles out now. Everyone hates this.

So around customer number six today as I'm passing these out....she states that she's got carpel-tunnel. I'm beginning to sense the perfect argument against the security mafia. I asked....so, do you have paperwork? Yes. So we are going to present this lady to the security folks and face up to problem number one.

If she succeeds....dozens of folks will go and visit their doctor within four weeks....and get their old handles back. Then I asked myself about all these old folks in the group. We have at least twenty folks over 55 years old. They have arthritis and could easily present another doctor's note to cover their issue.

Heck, there could be 19 year old enlisted punks who realize this carpel thing and then get themselves a profile. I can already see my boss, the Colonel, all peppered up and asking why 100 folks in the organization have profiles and carpel noted now? I'll stand and grin as I explain this.

I didn't really care one way or another. You see....I'm a duct-tape guy. I know the mighty power of duct-tape. And I merely grinned at the security mafia when they first brought this up.

It's funny working for the military. You'd never realize the mess one department creates for folks and how things get worked out in the end.