It was a dark and gloomy day, somewhere in the early spring of 2020, and 'fear porn' came on TV (German public news) and the thrill/gloom/cold sweat/uneasiness swept over me.
My pulse picked up. My anxiety level went from zero....to almost 1.5 (out of ten). I would compare it to the grocery store being out of Pepsi, or the McDonalds lady telling me that the McRibs weren't possible for that particular day.
The spin? There's a worldwide epidemic and countless people will pass from this Earth (sooner or later).
Within a few days, these doctors (virus experts) began to appear nightly on German news and chat forums. Gone were the gloomy financial idiots, the climate change 'porn' makers, and the people talking of fear of far-right extremism (Nazis, Nazis, Nazis).
Part of me wanted to ask stupid questions, but it didn't seem to really help.
Three months later, then came the 'mask porn', the '1.5-meter social distancing porn', 'no known source in China porn', and the 'cough porn'. Just standing at a grocery and hearing 'Martin' (the whiny German clerk kid swiping the groceries over the scanner) cough....was enough to set off 'fear porn'.
Having to wear masks in public areas set off more bells and whistles. My addiction level had gone past '5' on the scale of one to ten. I started to stay in the house alot. Just accepting mail or packages from the post-guy.....meant a serious handwash and alcohol doused on my face. Oddly, I started ordering more things....sometimes worthless items (a Covid-medal from some Italian gift shop, which I gave myself). This meant the post-guy and Amazon delivery folks came more often.
By mid-fall, 'higher-rate of infection porn' started up, with 'death porn' discussed almost daily. 'Old geezers dying porn' became a regular thing.
I came to appreciate the effort by German public TV, the BBC, CNN, France-24, NBC, MSNBC, ABC and CBS on their 'fear porn' efforts.
Some veterinarian guy came on one of the networks and actually talked 'dog-and-cat infection with Covid-19 fear porn'. Some weeks later, another guy came on to talk 'lions-get-Covid-19 fear porn'.
In January, my 'fear porn' level dropped a bit....simply because a vaccine now existed. A month later, it was now obvious that I would not get to the vaccination until mid-summer-fear porn.
Around Easter, Covid-19 finally arrived on my door-step. I had it. For around ten days, I had a marginalized feel-bad....number two-level flu-like situation. On fear-porn levels....this was a '2' out of a ten.
To be kinda honest, ever since that point (maybe 5 weeks ago)....my fear porn level.....not matter what I read or see on TV....doesn't rise much above a '1' on a scale to ten.
My addiction? Well.....it just kinda sits there. I admit, I'd like to watch some CNN Doctor-Doom talk about Covid-19, but in terms of enjoying the fear porn....it's not there. Did the addiction just go away? I don't even need rehab or to join some Covid-Anonymous club? Probably not.
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