The 'Darkness' Around a Anti-Fascist

Over the past couple of weeks, I've sat and listened to the commentary and viewed the actions of the anti-fascist crowd.  Several things have stood out:

1.  To be a true antifascist, you have to control or limit your friends or associates.  You hang out....with other antifascists.  You sit in the same classes....get into discussion-groups with like-minded people...and most all of your life is tied to a mission or purpose (saving the world from fascism).

2.  To be a true antifascist, you get up...eat your cereal or pancakes, and set your mind on purpose of being....defending the world from fascists.  It doesn't matter if they are in NY City, Detroit, Minneapolis, Philly, or Denver.  You go where the action is.

3.  Everywhere you look....fascism is harming society.  It's harming cultures, youth, livelihoods, health, democracy, and only struggles against evil fascism can resolve things.

4.  The antifascists are like some club now....appearing like DC's Legions of Tomorrow show.  Their hyped-up courage gives purpose and the feeling of being invincible.

5.  There is a piece out of Eric Hoffer's True Believer book, which talks to the idea of a "total surrender of a distinct self"....where you need to fit yourself into a group, crowd, or tribal organization.  This fits into the mass movement concept and you present the unified image of being against something (even if you marginally can say what that something is).

The world is unproductive and miserable, but by presenting the anti-fascist agenda....you can save it. 

6.  This antifascist is forever unsure of himself or herself.  They feel unaccomplished and apprehensive.  Today will end with participation in such-and-such effort or looting measure, with each member of the group trying to hype up the others that more work will be necessary for tomorrow.

7.  Finally, as time passes and reflection starts to set in....intolerance starts to be a daily topic on the mind of the antifascist.  Others in the group will suggest to be guarded against propaganda that would de-value the mind or effort.  Yet you look back at the childcare center you burned down with the group a month ago, or some coffee shop that you looted and destroyed....realizing later that owner just collected the insurance money and left town (the structure sits empty now).  You keep being told...don't worry, they all have insurance.  But you realize two months down the line that this section of town you destroyed....won't come back and rebuild. 

Intolerance starts to burn a hole in your soul. 

Then one day, you lose your enthusiasm for this antifascist business.  Saving mankind just doesn't seem to be something you'd like to participate in.  Some elements of shame show up....that you did some stupid things without thinking about the outcome. 

At this point, the darkness goes away.