Saturday 15 July 2023

Ten Things I'd Do To Fix Bud-Light

 1. I'd change the name to Bud-Max...adding 12 calories, and some mystery element called 'number-7'.  

2.  I'd try to get the US Marines signed up to proclaim it the US Marines-preferred-beer.

3.  I'd offer a $10 discount coupon for steaks, if you buy a case of Bud.

4.  Arrange for some unfortunate accident at the top ten beer brewery operations in a 30-day period....leaving people with only Bud-Light.

5.  Arrange for Santa Claus to go public and declare Bud as his preferred beer....mostly because he's overweight and needs to select fewer calorie situations.

6.  Develop a character called 'Bud Marvin Light' who was secretly developing the beer back in the 1970s, and sold his recipe to the brew guys for $66.

7.  Have a guy who wakes up from a coma to realize how Bud Light got tangled up in this mess.

8.  Develop an alien-UFO commercial where they accidentally crash into a Bud truck in Arizona and get a taste for the beer.

9.  Have a VP Harris-character-look-alike, who drinks a Bud beer and suddenly makes perfect sense in her use of commentary.

10.  Have a Chinese undercover agent in the Bud brewery commercial....who gets the secret....brings Bud to the masses in China, and suddenly everyone is pro-Bud there.

My Best Travel Story

 If you asked me to sit and entertain you for several hours with travel stories....I could probably tell more than 200 curious stories, but this is one of better ones.

I went and did a all-you-can-do travel event in Rome about 15 years ago.  My wife hates me 48-hour adventures....so I went alone.

I was set to arrive Friday night at 9 PM, check into a mid-town hotel, and then spend 14 hours on Saturday walking around.  I'd pack up on Sunday morning, and fly out by 1 PM.  

Yes, it is the wrong way to see Rome.

In the middle of this adventure, I end up by Vatican City by 10 AM Saturday.  I had wanted to do the 'walk-in' tour, but noticed that this line was filled with 500 tourists already.  

So I walked around to the front side, and entered the 'big-house'.  

Over on the right side of the front....there's this door open.  I walk up and just enter.  No guards or anything.

All of the sudden....I'm in the end-point of the grand-tour (the one that you'd pay real money for).

So I'm staging myself with the tour group inside this area, and walk to the next area...moving up a notch every ten minutes.  

I'm pretty sure I was violating five or six Vatican rules and ethically screwing over tourism.

At some point, I figure....why push my luck, and reverse....to leave via the exit door where I entered.

This walk saving three hours of waiting time?  Yeah.  

Old Guy Situation

 This November, Joe Biden turns 81.  I pondered over this age thing.

From the general crowd of 80-plus year old guys I know or have met in my life....it's probably fewer than 2-percent who are employed or working in some manner.  If you asked these 2-percent folks....most walk into their bar or restaurant.....check on things, and two hours later....exit to the golf course, or head home for a nap.  

At the Pentagon (2012), we had a big ceremony to honor all the 80-plus year old folks who still worked there.  Big stage set up....number two guy for the Pentagon running the ceremony...handing out awards.  Must have been thirty-odd people noted as still employed.  Couple of them were PhD types or history geeks.  Some were just admin folks who'd been in the same job (same level) for past forty years.  I would say from the experience....at least a third of them were marginally confused, and had some help in reaching the podium for their award.

In Biden's case?  I noticed for almost all of 2021...some journalist was tracking the daily calendar and noted for all work-days....there was rarely ever more than one single event scheduled for each day, unless Biden was on a trip-situation.  If you compared it to Obama?  Well.....on most days (with no golf planned)....Obama had a minimum of five events planned and some days reached a dozen events.

There's no doubt that the staff does 99-percent of the work, and Biden just gets briefed (probably the minimum required).  Biden is there to make a statement, and give some bold chatter when necessary.

All of this geared for an old guy to slip up and say some BS that unhinges the public?  Yeah, it's that type of scenario that you see developing.

Any real campaign for the 2024 primary?  I don't see how.  He might be ready to travel five days a week and deliver some 12-minute speech at each stop....but I don't think the campaign 'bosses' want that type of risk.  They also don't want to arrange arena situations where only 3,000 people show up for a 8,000 seat arena.  

So I'm with the same scenario developing....that Senator Feinstein will announce retirement set for the end of November, and Governor Newsom appoints VP Harris to the seat.  As Harris arrives to the seat....Governor Newsom is appointed by President Biden as the new VP, and Biden by Christmas announces....he won't run...enabling Newsom to run his own campaign....mostly against RFK.

I know, it's a crazy scenario, but the only way that enchants the general public.  

Do Debates Really Matter?

 If you think about it....you don't see 'real' debates that much anymore.  Occasionally, two figures will stage one....but these are usually people with the talent to debate.  

If you'd had some one-on-one debate with Barak Obama and Mitt Romney....with just a simple group of questions by one moderator....it would have marginally sold either guy (neither have any decent debate skills).  Same to be said with Obama and McCain.  

George Bush with anyone (Gore or Kerry)?  Kerry might have at least done a minimum-required performance, while Bush would have failed miserably (he was inept at debates).

Years ago, I was at a base where the local university offered up a debate class.  Even the base education folks were shocked...barely seven folks signed up for the class.  The class end?  You had to arrive one evening....get the topic of the debate, get 30 minutes to think about your 'talk', and then debate for 20 minutes with the instructor.   I think if you offered this type of situation to most college kids today...out of a thousand....probably fewer than twenty would accept this.

I've given thought to just how many Senators (100) have true debate skills.  I'd suggest that fewer than twenty have the minimum necessary to debate.  

So to the question....do debates really matter?  If you only have marginally capable people with the skills, then NO....debates don't matter.  You wouldn't want to have some dream-debate with George Bush and Hillary Clinton....where you'd fall asleep by the 12th minute.  The same is true with half the idiots from Fox News and CNN....meeting up and having a debate.  

Could You Hand-Count 40,000 Ballots From One Single Site?

 I live in a German village which runs a national vote episode every four years.  Out of 4,400 total residents....there's probably around 3,000 votes conducted.....all on paper.  

Electronic voting devices?  No.  It's all simply paper.

If you wanted to vote early?  There's a process....you get the early ballot mailed to you, and you go down to the city hall area....walking up to the clerk and she pulls out a steel box that you place the ballot into (after confirming your name on the city residence list).

On election day....starting at 8 AM on a Sunday....they run a simple poll site.  You are voting for one single party....so there's not sixty different rows like you'd have in the US (one Presidential row and 59 state rows).

So I look at the US problem and ask.....why couldn't you manage a two-ballot program....on paper?  One ballot for President, and one ballot for state officials.  

If you went this path, in a single town with 40,000 registered voters....you could wrap up things at 7 PM.  Ten folks counting and twenty folks as observers....unpacking 40,000 slips for President. Just my own humble guess....the ten could count the slips in about 60 minutes.  A second count mandated?  Yeah.

By 10 PM, you could announce the Presidential race ended....state-wide.

The state ballots?  You lock them up and run them at 7 AM in the morning via a system.  

Selling this idea?  Nearly impossible.