Tuesday 11 January 2022

Things That Typically Last Longer Than The 6th of January 2021 Insurrection

 1.  Soccer game with double-overtime play.

2. Reading the Sense of an Ending (160 pages).

3.  Cleaning and reorganizing your fridge/freezer unit.

4.  Watching all the episodes of the BBC's Fawlty Towers.

5.  Playing a game of risk between four energetic college kids. 

6.  Watching Zack Snyder's Justice League (the re-edited version).

7.  Watching the full edition of The Return of the King (Lord of the Rings).

8.  Walking from the Little Red Lighthouse to the Battery (far south point) of NY City, with a 30-minute ice cream break in the middle.

9.  Listening to one of President Biden' reminiscing stories of how he pitched for the Red Sox in 1963, and drilled for Alaskan crude oil in 1966.

10.  Restoring a 30-year old bike from top to bottom.

11.  Eating a seven-course meal in France, with five chatty people who tamed wild beasts in Africa, discovered pirates gold, and personally knew Mitterand.

12.  Butcher a hog (top to bottom) with a marginal hog expert.

13.  Fully expel demons out of a possessed lady with a Catholic exorcist.  

14.  Enter and view a Daytona 500 race, with a 30 minute beer-call as the race concludes.

15.  Smoke heroin, with the high effect lasting typically 5 hours.

16.  Attend a 2,000 participant Baptist Revival meeting.

17.  Ask a German to describe the utter failures of America, with three bottles of Jack Daniels to accompany the 4-hour chatter.

18.  Drink four 'bottles' of 'Five-Hour Energy', and settle back for an afternoon of extreme anxiety, nausea, vomiting, rapid heartbeat, and high blood pressure.

19.  Run a garage sale out of your home.

20.  Take down the wallpaper of living room, sip a bottle of wine, and then re-wallpaper the room.  

21.  Allow your 8th grade math teacher to spend five hours to teach a 16-minute moment on fractions.  

22.  Sit through a 4.5 hour talk by your cousin to explain the 'Lost' TV series from beginning to end.  

23.  Get lost in Barcelona, discovering no one much speaks English, and this was the one time that you didn't bring a map along for the journey.

24.  Allowing your uncle to explain his route from Tallahassee to Little Rock, and how he avoided using the interstate system.

25.  Spending the afternoon at a yoga class with several middle-aged single women who seemed thrilled that you are single, a male, and apparently fake-interested in yoga.

26. Take the train from Zermatt to St Moritz (on a sunny July day).

27.  Throw back three 'steins' of 1-liter beer at the Oktoberfest and then recover at the 'hill'....not remembering much of anything that occurred.  

28.  Walk the entire 'tour' from Arlington Cemetery.