I'm going to present the super-secret plan in full detail:
1. All postal boxes will be removed completely. Then all sorting machines will be disconnected.
2. Mail will be dumped into canvas bags and delivered to a Utah warehouse, where it'll be bulk-loaded onto cargo planes, to be flown into China.
3. Once in China, 66k US-hired Chinese will sort the mail manually. With a 9-week delay built into the system, your ballot will be still in China in February of 2021.
4. This is all hush-hush, and only known by President Trump, the Postmaster General, and Trump's barber.
(fake news)
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