Over the weekend, I observed on Twitter....some guy writing a short list of characteristics that you need for a wife in 2026. He listed: Doesn't have a penis, won't kill your kids, and not considered a whore.
Being from Alabama (1960s/1970s)....I pondered over the list a while....thinking it's not really complete.
Ten things that I would add?
1. Shouldn't owe $80,000 on college debt. (To be honest....even $40,000 of college debt would bother me.)
2. If she can name all of the Kardashian family members....that's probably a no-go.
3. If she has a recently bought NEW car, and still has six years of $800 monthly payments....that's probably a no-go.
4. If she has disappeared completely for seven days in the last year....with no explanation or reasoning for where she went or what she did....that's a hard no-go.
5. I'm open to beach-walks, but if it means 6-mile walks around Dauphin Island (Ala) in mid-July heat, it's probably a no-go.
6. If she talks about CNN host folks....as if they were Jesus's Apostles....it's probably a no-go.
7. If she keeps the list of 107 quotes from Kamala Harris handy, and utters a quote several times a week....that's a no-go.
8. If she dresses whorish once or twice a year....it's acceptable. Three times a week....that's probably a no-go (I might delete this one).
9. If she follows tornado-alerts....minute-by-minute, and keeps a active list of storm-shelters...I might ask questions.
10. If she consumes a case of beer (minimum) per week, that's a ify-situation.
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