Wednesday 22 May 2013

Medical Literature

Some smart folks have gone out and done some research on all the fancy hand-outs that doctors, clinics, hospitals, school nurses, and the medical community continually hand out to people.  There's some general consensus, which got published in the JAMA Internal Medicine publication this month (thanks to Fox News for the note).

They've all come to realize what most of us have said for the last twenty years....the commentary in the hand-outs....is too complicated for the average American to grasp.

You have a number of medical experts, who have six to eight years of college, who sit and write these publications.  It's nothing personal with me.....but every time you see one of these and attempt to read it....you need to stumble over various phrases and words that you aren't prepared to read.

Last year, the dentist office wanted to hand me literature on gum disease.  I ran through the hand-out and probably got about half of the message.

What the medical establishment needs to do.....is simply hire people who write around the eighth-grade level, and use simple graphics to tell a story.  Thirty percent of the people who read these hand-outs....probably understand every single word, but the rest of us?  The range goes up and down.

The sad thing here is that there is a need for medical literature, and they could write it in a way to be understood.  So far, they just haven't grasped the problem.

Tuesday 21 May 2013

Sleeper Cells?

There was a brief moment of analysis off one of the morning shows of yesterday, where someone had the idea that this rogue IRS crew doing the damage to the Tea Party....was likely hired during the Bush II era, and likely a Republican trap on President Obama.

I sat there for a moment thinking about this 'sleeper-cell' situation, pondering the possibility.

Then I kinda noted that if you did believe in this, then there ought to be sleeper-cell's left over from the Clinton era, the Bush I era, the Reagan era, the Carter era, the Ford era, the Nixon era, the LBJ era, the Kennedy era, and the Eisenhower era.

Each of these rogue cells could be operating within the IRS, with orders given to them five....ten....even twenty-five years ago.  At any point, they could suddenly activate and create havoc on America....by order of their boss.

The odds of this.....one in fifty billion.

But if you were some dimwit appearing on MSNBC's morning show, and wanted to really take this mess to the ninth degree, then you could suggest such a thing.

This is probably the reason why I limit myself to eight minutes a day of MSNBC.  It's kinda like the X-Files channel, with some things that just go pretty extreme.

Sunday 19 May 2013

The Robber from New York City

Guys from Bama have a special appreciation of New York City.  We would quietly admit, in mixed company, that we'd really like to throw some Roll Tide jerseys into a bag with some underwear, put a case of beer into a cooler, and get a roadmap to drive all the way to New York City.  We don't want to stay too long, or really become familiar with the city.  We'd just like to visit for a couple of days....visit some guys like George on Seinfeld, and meet some cool chicks like they had on Friends.

So we pay attention to events in New York City.

This week....they had an atempted bank robbery.

The robber dude came in....fairly well dressed....a tie and suit, with dark Ray-band glasses.

He comes up to the teller and passes some note, that basically says he wants 100s, 50s, 20s, and he'll start shooting if you don't react.

Well....it's an interesting thing.

The robber didn't really know it, but this lady clerk he picked....she wasn't from New York City.  Journalists won't say what state she hails from....but she just ain't a local.

So things take a turn here. Being in the bank teller field.....you really don't expect life-ending situations to occur.  This gal, and we can only assume she is likely from some southern state, freaks out after reading the note.

She starts screaming and going into some kind of panic attack.  The robber?  Well....he didn't really expect that attitude.  He tried to raise his finger and let her know that it'd be better to just be quiet.  That didn't help much.

By this point, she running from her cage area to the other side of the room and hiding under a desk.

There's this pause for the robber.  You can sense some frustration here.  There's probably about twenty seconds of silence here.  He's likely thinking....damn, most New York City gals would just flip the money over and I'd be walking out with four thousands dollars right now.

At this point, he makes a fairly wise decision.  Retreat.

Cops have a mighty fine picture of the guy, released to the papers, and taking up a three inch by six inch space.  Sadly, he's walking on borrowed time right now, and trying hard to stay out of sight.

The gal?  I'm guessing that the bank guys are giving her a day off to chill and relax.  They probably appreciate the fact that they didn't lose any money.  Everyone is looking at this tactic now....and wondering if freaking out....ought to be norm.  The problem is....most all New York City folks are pretty stern and tough individuals.  You'd have to bring in some Bama folks and change cultural perceptions.  Just some advice from a Bama guy.

Saturday 18 May 2013

The Prayer Question

Among the various groups that IRS decided to mess with in this latest scandal....there was one that had a religious connection of sorts.

So in the questions developed and sent back to the organization.....was this information request...."Please detail the content of the members of your organization’s prayers."

You can imagine the manager and the accountant sitting there....it was a group in Iowa, and just pondering the necessity of listing content of prayers.

In Bama, we would sat there for a long while, and then listed our prayer...in typical Bama-fashion.

Dear God

We ask you to send your angels to the IRS and help bring them to their senses.

We ask you to lift their blindness and give the IRS people sight.

We ask you to take the child-like ways of the IRS, and bring them into the world of maturity.

We ask you to take the devil in each IRS technician, and cast that devil out.

We ask you to lay your hands upon their incompetence, and give them brilliance.

We ask you to give the IRS folks compassion, where they have none.

And Lord, we ask that you tinker with the IRS rules a bit because we really don't want to waste prayer upon the IRS.  We have really more important things to ask your help on, and this ought not be in the top ten issues.  Amen.

I'm sure an IRS guy would read this and start to wonder how he ever got into this line of work, and if maybe he should have gone onto Baptist ministry school like Grandma suggested, instead of hooking up with the IRS.

Let the Crap Flow

This is one of those odd stories that someone will tell me, and it needs to retold.

My associate at work is married to a gal, who has a sister that probably hasn't done that well-off in life.  The sister still lives up in Minnesota where she grew up.  My associate got convinced years ago, by his wife, to buy a property, and rent it to the sister.....for a very fair price.  It's safe to say that it's in the rurals of Minnesota, didn't cost that much, and requires only occasional maintenance.

Because of the way that he bought the house, the location, and the mortgage involved.....he needs flood insurance.  If there was a recent flood map of the area.....he'd get a more discounted deal.  Currently, he's paying more than what he'd desire.

Who draws up the flood maps?  Usually a city or town will request it, pay some kind of price for it, and it's available to everyone in town as they buy, sell, or trade property.  The town in this case?  Thirty-odd residences.  On their priority list?  No.  There is a mayor to the town, but for roughly three years....this just hasn't been a priority for the town at all.

So yesterday comes, and there's a phone call.  New mayor in town, and he's calling all the way to Maryland to my associate.

The town has a new 'mission'.  They want a real sewage system.  Yes, the thirty-odd residences....have prioritized things, and a one-million-dollar sewage system is on their mind.  Septic tanks?  A thing of the past, and not sufficient.

They had a town-hall meeting.  This idea just didn't sell too well.  There's around twenty-odd votes to this....apparently not enough to get it passed.  I'm assuming that there needs to be a super-majority (maybe two-thirds...maybe even seventy-five percent).  New mayor chats over this......he's new in town....and he really needs this project done.

I stopped my associate at that point, and asked why exactly would you need a one-million-dollar sewage system, for thirty-odd homes?  There just isn't any reason for it or any explanation yet that fits.  Course, if you were trying to attract some mini-manufacturing unit or small business to move into the area....it'd explain a good bit.  But that hasn't been laid out into this story.

My associate confessed to the new mayor.....if they'd give him the flood map....he'd vote for this.  Otherwise, no.

The price of the monthly bill if they go and do this?  Eighty bucks.    So it's around a thousand dollars a year....if they press forward.  The curious thing is that they've arranged for one grant, which took out around $400k on this, and they are fairly close to a second grant for almost $400k.  So the thirty-odd homes would only have to worry about a $200k chunk of money.  The grants?  I'm guessing that one came from the federal government, and I actually helped to pay.  Yeah, that irritates me a bit.....my tax money going to run a sewage plant in the rurals of Minnesota.

Who would run the plant?  Don't know.  I suggested to my associate that you'd have to hire some guy to come in....measure stuff....maintain the plant....ensure proper operation.  So there has to be more cost associated with this, but not being mentioned.

So as a true Bama resident, I asked the real question to fit this all together....doesn't the town have cops and rake in money off speeding tickets?  No.  No cops.  The town lies between two significant cities, with trucks moving on a hourly basis.  There's money to be made here....if you just hired one cop to sit and hand out traffic tickets.  Every town in Bama functions this way, and an average cop makes $100k profit for the town.

I asked, how does the town make money then?  Well....in Minnesota, the local booze establishment must be run by the town itself, and that was the chief money maker for the town.  Practically all the cash for the town, came off their one and only establishment....a booze shop.  But the booze shop had to shut down because it wasn't clearing a profit.

Why?  Well....they had six people on the payroll.  Way more folks than they needed and it was simply a job enterprise.  No real profits for the town.  The new management scheme of the booze shop probably will cure this issue, and create more cash flow for the town's city hall.

At the end of this.....I was thinking, this is the kind of place that a guy could walk into, and in one year....became the mayor.  Some guys walk around and dream of such a goal in life.  You don't have to be a four-star executive or even a college-degree guy....and be a mayor.

As for my associate?  This stupid episode will likely pass and the eighty bucks a month will be drawn from his account.  No, he admitted that he wouldn't pass this onto his sister-in-law....the nice guy that he is.  And no, he didn't really expect the flood map to ever come out of this mess.  Happily though....crap will flow past the house....onto some sewage plant....and end up somewhere else.  Maybe that's worth eighty bucks a month.  Maybe.