Thursday 2 August 2018

ALF?

I sat and read an entertainment piece today, which indicated that ALF is in the discussion stage of being brought back. For October new shows?  Very doubtful.  I'm guessing they are talking October 2019 at the earliest.

I sat and pondered upon this.  ALF in modern times?  ALF with an Amazon account?  ALF with credit cards?  ALF making Trump-like comments over Twitter?  ALF with a Facebook account?  ALF registered to vote?  ALF watching 200 hours per month of Friends?  ALF with an account to Radio Shack?  ALF doing vegan one week, and then realizing what it really means?  ALF drinking a 50-50 mix of Tab and Dr Pepper?  ALF writing science fiction books and selling them under the fake name of Gordon Shumway?  ALF looking for a safe space?

I suspect the writers have at least 3,000 ideas for the first season alone.

Trump-Unbridled-Optimism-Syndrome (Parody)

(Parody) Clyde got up one morning and his wife decided to speak to him....about a problem.

This conversation led to one central theme....Clyde's wife felt that he seemed overly happy with life, more so than normal.  It just wasn't right.  She told Clyde that she'd noticed almost tears coming down his cheeks when he arose and opened curtains and gazed at the morning sun rising.  Since the spring of 2017, she noted this 'passion' over life.

Clyde admitted that he did feel a bit more optimistic than normal.  NO...says the wife, this is more than that.  She suggested physiological treatment.

So Clyde went off and asked his associates about a recommendation.  The druggie at the office could name a good doctor but that wasn't the problem.  The gal with personality issues could name a good doctor but that wasn't the problem.  The Vietnam vet chief could name a good doctor but that wasn't the problem.  The HR guy flipping into a trans-lady could name a good doctor but that wasn't the problem.  Eventually, the security guard at the front door had a private chat with Clyde.

'Duke' was a Army vet....black guy....often obsessed with NCAA football....often bragged of playing poker one night with one of bin Laden's henchmen in some faraway jail-house....and was a happy-go-lucky security guard for the company.  Oh, and he was a noted former Democrat, turned Republican.

'Duke' said there's only one doctor for this, and gave Clyde the number.

Clyde made the appointment and the next day....showed up at some office that seemed to be designed to look like 1969.  The doctor asks about a dozen questions, and then states in a matter-of-a-fact way....Clyde, you got TUOS. Clyde was of course thinking it was a sexual disorder but the doctor corrected him quickly.  No, it's Trump Unbridled Optimism Syndrome.

The doctor reassured him that things were fine and that he had a special group which met on Wednesday nights to discuss matters.  He wanted Clyde to show up....but then said it'd be best not speak at the beginning part.

So Clyde shows up on the next Wednesday meeting and is there with six other folks and the doctor.  They start around and talking about 'their problem'.  It seems that it started on 9 November 2016.  Anxiety, panic attacks, stress, heartburn, and so on.

About twenty minutes into this, Clyde realizes that he's in a group of Hillary Lost It Syndrome (HLIS) folks.  He starts to eyeball the doorway and to leave.

The doctor gives a wink and turns to Clyde...asking him about his great fall on 9 November, and how he emerged.

Clyde starts to realize that he's not there to help himself....he's there to bring people to the 'unbridled optimism' position.  He starts to talk about his woeful family, unemployable son, the niece with no skill or future, and the worry over his job holding out.

Tears flow as Clyde tells the sad prospective of his family in 2016.  They just didn't have any optimism.  By summer of 2017, something clicked.  The son was hired up by some company, and made enough to have his own apartment.  The niece got hired by some gun-shop and discovered that she had some knack on selling rifles.  With the tax changes, Clyde had enough money to take his wife to Aruba for a week of hot lusty passion.

Clyde arose from his chair and began to wave his arms around and get all animated.  He'd helped some lady from his church rewrite her resume and get her hired up for a job (her first job, at age fifty).  He'd given up watching NFL football and was helping a neighbor repaint their house. He hated cats, but had gone to the county center and adopted two cats. 

The atmosphere in the room was electrified.  Unbridled optimism was brewing thick and strong.  The doctor gave a wink.  The session ended an hour later, and just about all of the folks there came over and offered a handshake.  They all felt better....they felt like a great burden had been lifted off their chest.

Clyde went home and his wife asked about the psychological session with the group. Clyde stood there and thought about it for a minute, and then responded: "What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to each new twist of fate".  The wife responded....that's a direct quote from President Trump.  "Yes" responded Clyde.  A twist of fate here and there....brought on unbridled optimism. 

Humble Opinion

Ten news events, and just my observations:

1.  On this missing Iowa college student, Mollie Tibbetts.  Cops say she finished her run....went back to the house, and did homework.  Between that point and the next morning.....she disappeared.  No blood in the house.....no scuffle damage....nothing.  Whoever came to the house, was someone she knew. Or....she never really came back to the house, and the homework business is all faked up.

2.  Senator Feinstein woke up a couple of years ago in the middle of a FBI face-to-face meeting....to learn one of her hired folks was probably working as a amateur-spy for China.  My question is....how many other Senators have been greeted by the FBI and told the same type of story?

3.  This Medicare for all deal?  Oddly enough, back in the early 1970s, in the midst of the Watergate episode.....President Nixon was proposing the same idea.

4.  If Mueller never reaches the impeachment stage?  Could he stretch this into 2024 and beyond?

5.  Tommy Robinson was released by the Brit judge.  What the judge indicated....this judicial episode from two months ago....was handled in a behavioral way that you'd expect out of a 12-year-old kid.  Right now.....trust in the Brit legal system is at an all-time low.

6.  After a fair amount of reading over these 3D manufactured guns....I would suggest that if you were looking for a one-shot only weapon....this would be it.  After you fired that one single round from the weapon, I'd toss it into the dumpster and not trust the weapon to function correctly for the second shot.

7.  With all this talk of illegals being registered to vote....eventually some idiots will dream up a round-trip vacation from France or Italy or Germany....to San Francisco, to include a one-stop session where they register to vote (while there as tourists).  Pictures will be taken and the tourists will be thrilled to be part of the American voting experience.

8.  It's becoming obvious that more people know Marvel hero characters, than American politicians.

9.  A fair number of 20-year old American kids have awaken in the past two years, and asking who this Hitler guy is.

10. I kinda noticed this morning.....the North Korean main newspaper....Rodong Sinmun....spoke up and told North Koreans.....not to be faked-out by other cultures or ways of life, insisting instead that the Kim lifestyle was giving them the “best in the world.”  The regular North Korean guy has to be sitting there....discussing matters with the wife, and thinking.....man, if it's that great here....imagine how bad it is in Tampa, or Louisiana.....they must have it really bad.