Wednesday, 23 May 2012

A Bain Capital Commercial

It's just something silly to think about.  What if?

In this imaginary world....around 2008....some Bain Capital guys walked into Solyndra and bought them out completely...ahead of their campaign kiss-up to the Obama team, thus avoiding a handshake deal and $535 million (half a billion for simplicity's sake).

On day one, Bain buys the company for a pretty good price....fifty percent less than what their CEO says is their worth.

On day two, Bain Capital fires the CEO, and half of the top layer of the management staff.  Nothing personal, but their vision is 180 degrees from reality.

On day five, Bain agrees that the technology is workable, but not in California.  They agree to move the entire plant to Tennessee.  You as an employee, are given this simple offer....come with the plant and get a moving package.  You chose get a termination notice and two months notice.  You chose yes, and start preparing yourself for Tennessee.

On day sixteen, there's these real estate guys looking over the property in California and willing to pay a fair price.  Bain agrees to sell immediately.

On day twenty, Bain gets some Tennessee state officials to agree to a massive tax relief package, with almost no property tax.  The property that they will be using?  It's all donated by the of charge.  The state even agrees to pave a road and build a parking lot around the new

On day thirty, Bain has some Tennessee senator lined up and prepared to give them tax credits in the 2009 budget they are building and selling solar panels out of Tennessee, with zero federal taxes coming into play.  It's a simple three-line piece that no one even notices in the federal law book.

On day four-hundred, Bain is operating Solyndra at a fair profit.

On day five-hundred, Bain Capital sells their Solyndra operation for $700 million in profit over what they bought the company for.  

The sad thing to this story....Solyndra never gets a chance to squander a half-a-billion from the US government or the tax-payer.

It'd make a great TV commercial.  

This Odd Gal

This is we know.....a US Airways flight from Paris to Charlotte, NC....ended up landing in Maine today.  Some gal onboard......made a comment to a stewardess that she had a device surgically implanted inside her.   Naturally, this kinda perked the stewardess up and got everyone into a excited episode.

Cops came out to the plane in Bangor, and removed the gal.  The plane left....nothing of interest found on the gal.

So I started to dig into this story.  She's a French citizen, but officially....she's from Cameroon.  It's an odd thing....she gets a ten-day ticket to visit the US.  Being a French don't need much of a visa to visit the US.  If you'd been a Cameroon'd have to lay out some details and have a different type of visa.

Then there's this odd baggage.  She apparently just showed up at some airport and displayed a ticket.  I assume she has some carry-on stuff with her.....but no checked bags.  Who travels from France to North Carolina with no baggage, for ten days?'s hard to think of someone who would do that.

What's the whole story?  A humble guess.  I'm thinking that some rich wealthy guy from Cameroon....has a US visa and lives all-year-round in North Carolina.  He's married.  His wife came up and will be gone for two weeks.  He has this former girlfriend.....and invites her to fly out immediately to entertain him for the period.  She's a bit naive...packs nothing, and expects to have a suitcase of North Carolina clothing by the end of the ten days. Oh, and she has implants of a certain nature....just not the type that TSA worries about.

The guy who bought the ticket?  He's hoping that some idiot newspaper dopes in North Carolina don't start putting this together and ask his wife for details.  Just a humble opinion.