Sunday, 9 May 2010

The List of Bad Toys Quote

"With iPods and iPads and Xboxes and PlayStations, none of which I know how to work....information becomes a distraction, a diversion, a form of entertainment, rather than a tool of empowerment, rather than the means of emancipation,"

President Obama
- Note: He didn't mention Blackberry in this list of bad toys....which he basically sleeps with. Nor did he mention Twitter.

News and the End Result

I grew up with three tv network options, the educational channel, Time, Newsweek, Paul Harvey, a couple of radio networks, and maybe fifteen national newspapers total. News was news...and generally it was just laid out for you to read facts and observations.

At some point in the 1980s...you could see the change. Cable news was coming. AM stations got real programming. More newspapers were taking pretty strong stances on their news being slanted news.

Over the past decade, you can readily observe a situation where news isn't news any longer.

Time and Newsweek are marginal publications with no real value. Most of what they do print...is slanted news. They hope to turn a corner eventually and make profit...but it's not likely to come.

Of the top twenty-five newspapers in America...at least twenty of them are marginal in terms of profit. All of the twenty-five are working with slanted news and working with a angry reader base. Half of the papers could fold up within five years if things don't work out with advertisers or readers.

All of the news networks now work with slanted news. They are into competition and have to tell a story to you in a certain fashion. The idea of a moderately thinking guy watching just CNN anymore....doesn't exist. The idea of a moderately thinking guy watching CBS anymore...doesn't exist. And to make their points...they have gotten around to telling the slant of the slant of the slant of the slant news. Basically, they point at their opposition and spend eight minutes talking about them...which really isn't news (if you think about it).

And Paul Harvey is dead. So our compass to maneuver through this mess is gone.

In three decades...we haven't advanced a single inch in terms of knowing our world around us. We get stories without facts. We receive news with no real investigation. We have wannabe journalists pretending to interview important people but they can't use the real list of questions. And we'd like to just go back to the simple formula we had in 1975 but we can't.

Tonight as we watch Katie Couric and wonder how they can pay her the millions for college-level news reporting...we'll open another can of Pabst and stare at the windows which need cleaning....and finally pull out the Windex to clean them...as the news plays on in the background. At least you'll have clean windows.

Ingredients of a Hostile Marriage

It takes a number of ingredients to make the first steps in a negative marriage situation. Call it advice or simple observations.

First, the thought of opposites attract and can work. Opposites in marriage can only work if one is willing to give into the path of the other. And the "weaker" one has to continually give as these opposites become more and more obvious. A opposites couple could survive twenty or thirty years...but only if one continually gives in. This means patience and hard work for the one continually giving in. Eventually, there won't be much patience left.

If you are dating someone and note a number of opposites....count them up. How opposite are they? Just a bit or 180 degrees? Who will play the weaker, to make this eventually work out?

Second, arguments eventually take their toll. If you date someone and note that they take positions constantly....rather than act fluid...it's a strong indicator of a requirement for a person in this marriage to give in....so that the marriage can continue on.

Everyone argues...there's no doubt about this. But when someone takes a point on everything...like moving couches and chairs around in the living room, or extreme positions on hotel choices, or methods of driving, then you've got a daily argument brewing over little to nothing...but someone has to give in. So again, there's this patience situation that brews.

Third, after a visit or two...if your date partner has a negative comment or two that really stands out about a relative....you need to ask why. Everybody hates meeting their in-laws...but there is a borderline where relatives are put on 'no-list' and you sit there scratching your head. Again, there is this situation where you have to give in....acting the weaker. Patience is again dipped out of the bucket.

Fourth, the 'you-need-to-change' topic. If you are in the midst of a date, and your partner indicates this 'need-to-change' episode, they are merely asking you to show patience and become something that you aren't. Again, you are going back to the weaker stance and dipping more patience out of the bucket.

This could be simple in the beginning but as days and months turn into years and you see this on a monthly basis, then you have to ask who you really are and why they overlooked these at the beginning.

Fifth, humor or the lack of it. Some folks utilize humor to survive in life. It's their coping machine. If you have such a belief in life and you come across someone without any humor much....and think a permanent situation in life is possible with them...don't always bet on it.

There are folks who have an absolute limit on humor and don't want it used in serious situations. So the person who is trying to survive...has their 'shield' taken away. This person just stands there without much to deflect comments or stupid words...quietly. They are simply dipping back into the patience bucket to toss even more away.

Sixth, meeting the relatives. When you've finally been invited to meet the relatives, and you come to realize they have issues...serious issues. Then you need to evaluate the situation.

If one of them has attempted or actually committed suicide, that's a very negative point. If one is a alcoholic, that's another negative point. If one displays anxiety and stress issues, that's another negative point. If you have all three of these show up....you really need more than a bucket of patience for a full enriching marriage. You need two buckets of patience.

So you really need to visit their relatives and get a good feel. Whatever critical issues they show....it's very likely that these will flow into your marriage. And again, someone has to give in and use their patience.

Finally, seventh....when enough is enough. When you gaze over at your bucket of patience, which was full to start with...and find that its mostly empty now...you've got a problem brewing. You won't back off as much. You won't feel sympathy as often. You won't have maximum compassion as often. You won't say "sorry" as often or mean it when you do say it.

This is the sad part about life. You only get this smart...after you witness things.