Saturday 19 May 2012

Greece, The First Month

Most folks who write up on Greece and it's Euro troubles....just talk about the demonstrations, and the bank instability.  So I'd rather be creative and lay out how things would be in the first month after they dump the Euro.

So it begins.

The military discovers on day one of the episode, that they really don't have a lot of fuel on hand....maybe enough to run two weeks at best.  When they ask for fuel allotment money from the government, they are told to ground all helicopters and aircraft.  Tanks and trucks?  Put them in the depot.  The coast guard?  Just enough fuel to run minimum operations.

The police chiefs around the county discover that their stash of fuel will last around seven days.  They ask the government to allocate a vast amount of emergency fuel, but the government admits that they just don't have enough money to do more than run a 50-percent operation for the foreseeable future.

Ambulance crews?  They are the only government service that gets a full allocation of fuel.

Airports suddenly run into an odd problem.  A tourist plane will land and expect to pay in Euro....then are told that they need to pay in newly created Drachma.  The pilot calls his headquarters in France, to discover his credit card isn't approved for such a currency yet.  The headquarters also questions the exchange rate.  Meanwhile the passengers disembark, to discover that the tourist bus to carry them off to the hotel....which was supposed to be "free"....isn't free.  The driver wants Euro....not Drachma....and he wants the equalivent of thirty bucks for each person....for a lousy forty minute drive to the hotel.

When the tourist arrives at his hotel....he finds that the contract that he signed six months ago is still valid, but the hotel has added a fee onto the tab (for all drinks and food), so that $10 meal you had.....is now $12 instead.

The cleaning lady at the hotel?  Well.....she wants only Drachma...not Euro....and she won't give you clean towels until you tip her in advance.

That fancy all-day tour-bus ride that you had advance booking on?  Well....it's still in effect but the driver encourages you strongly to tip him as you enter the bus for Euro, not Drachma.  That's the only way that he will turn on the AC unit and keep you chilled all day.

The tourist trap gift shop outside the hotel....that sold you a junk item for $10 in Euro before?  Well....it's now $8 in Drachma, but five days later....you notice it's $10....and by the end of the two weeks....it's $14 in Drachma.

The bartender at the hotel establishment?  He'll take Drachma, Rupees, Euro, Dollars, and even Russian Rubles.

The local lady shopping for groceries?  Well....on day five of the event....she finds the grocery mostly empty and the guy in charge admits that he's having to pay in advance for each item he buys to sell.  So his cash flow is slow now, and he hopes in five days to fill half the store.  Beans, by his estimation....is a guaranteed thing.  Don't be getting hope hopes for American mustard....this year, or next year.

The local bank?  They only open between 10 and 2.  There's a limit of how many Euro that they will accept each day and convert to Drachma.  You ask your Grandma to accept a bundle of Euro, and show up each day to exchange the money for you....because you just don't have time to waste with sixty people in line.

TV and radio?  Well....several of the folks have disappeared from the nightly newscast and generally, there's just on-the-air chit-chat....no remote video or conversations with people on the street.  No one wants to see video of empty store shelves or people drinking booze on the street.

Your doctor will see you, but he prefers Euro....not Drachma.  He's supposed to accept the state-run policy and you only pay a minimum fee.  He just laughs when you suggest a minimum fee situation.  He refers you to the nurse and refuses to do anything for you.

The gas for your car?  Well....it goes up by twenty percent over night, and some gas stations demand Drachma only, while others prefer Euro secretly (under the table).

Some fancy pants Greek political figures would like to go out and do speeches but find that people are confrontational.  So it's best to just hide out, drink what booze you hid away for a rainy day, and plot for another election, upon another election, upon another election.  Heck, you might gear the nation for six elections per year.

At the end of the first month....there's a bunch of angry people....and no solution in sight.  If you are twenty-two and educated.....you might as well pack a bag and agree to work in Italy or Amsterdam for minimum wage.  It puts food on the table.  These younger folks?  They probably won't ever return.  They are bound to absorb themselves into life elsewhere and give up eternally on Greece.

Somewhere in the months to come....you suddenly have a rise in Greek women advertising for American gentlemen for marriage.  American guys suddenly start to evaluate Thai, Russian, and Greek women on marriage possibilities.  Suddenly, some single guy from Ripley, Mississippi is reading up on the Greek Orthodox Church and a Greek diet of rabbit, peasant, chickens and fish, with some kind of goat yogurt that tastes kinda like buttermilk.

Life in Greece, as we know it....is about to change.