Wednesday 19 June 2019

If I Were Answering the NY Times

The New York Times went and asked all 21 Democrats running for President these 18 questions.....which I read over and felt it was marginally worth asking.

The Questions:

1. In an ideal world, would anyone own handguns? 
- If you lived in a land where they had a Constitution and it listed rights....ownership isn't the question.  You have roughly 3,000 people across the US who die daily via car accidents....should we eliminate ownership of cars?

2.  Would your focus be improving the Affordable Care Act or replacing it with single payer?
- The Affordable Care Act is considered a marginal success, and doomed because cost continue to rise.  What exactly gives you confidence that single payer will provide you the standard of healthcare you have now, at a lower price rate?

 3. Do you think it’s possible for the next president to stop climate change?
- No.  In fact, nothing over the past 500 million years has halted or stopped climate change.

4. Do you think Israel meets international standards of human rights?
- Who says that there is some standard existing?  Who exactly defined this?

5. Who is your hero, and why?
- Ironman.  He put the glove on and remedied this Thanos problem in this last Marvel movie.

6. Would there be American troops in Afghanistan at the end of your first term?
- No.  I'd launch missiles down on any target in Afghanistan and avoid placing a single American on the soil.  I'd have two-hundred drones circling the Earth, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, and have naval ships ready to launch cruise missiles to remedy the problem.

7. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
- Normally 6...sometimes seven.  It depends on the cat's schedule and if he awakens me at 4:30 to observe his empty food tray and to do something about it.

8. Do you think illegal immigration is a major problem in the United States?
- If you have  a legal means of immigrating into the US....why would you go and illegally enter?  We even make all this immigration paperwork in your home country language.  Just fill it out, provide an ID and let us evaluate you before you start your journey.

9. Where would you go on your first international trip as president?
- Tonga.

10. Describe the last time you were embarrassed. Why?
- I was embarrassed that a bunch of folks associated with the news media were all upset on election night 2016.  They seemed to be behaving like a bunch of 12-year-old brats.

11. Do you think President Trump has committed crimes in office?
- No.  But I think the staff under President Obama might have.  We need an investigation to settle this issue.

12. Do you support or oppose the death penalty?
- I'd like to make a law that just says you can't kill no one.  I'm sure if we just passed one more law, that would fix all this business.

13. Should tech giants like Facebook, Amazon and Google be broken up?
- Yes.  And they should all be motivated (forced) to set their headquarters up in Missouri....preferably the Ozarks area.

14. Are you open to expanding the size of the Supreme Court?
- Yes.  I'd like to have 435 members, with one judge assigned to each district in the US.  You'd be limited to four years of service before being let go.

15. When did your family first arrive in the United States, and how?
- 1639.  We sailed in from London....hired up as Tobacco labor, and got settled on our cost two years later....to start our own tobacco farm.

16. What is your comfort food on the campaign trail?
- Catfish, preferably with hush puppies and ice tea.

17. What do you do to relax?
- Watch Seinfeld.

18. Does anyone deserve to have a billion dollars?
- Is there anyone in existence who has a billion dollars in cash?  No, they have it invested and working magic with companies to produce some stupid product that people are stupid enough to buy, and continue working to expand that billion.  To merely suggest that the billion is 'fluid' is the most stupid question that a NY Times reporter could ask.