Sunday 16 September 2012

Just Some Advice

Sometimes, I hand out advice.

If you intend to go off to college, and want to borrow around $75k to achieve your degree....you better plan on working two jobs upon graduation for the first ten years, and forget about putting any money into a 401k until you turn 45 years old.

If you live down along the Gulf coast....within two miles of the beach....you need to ask yourself if losing your home after a hurricane is worth living that close to the coast.

If you like to drink excessively once or twice a year and drive home....could you afford to pay out $15k in legal costs and court fines if the cops pull over?  If you can't afford the $15k.....don't drink and drive.

If you live in a neighborhood where ten percent of the houses are empty because folks went bankrupt....you might want to ask if folks have a spending/saving problem.

If your doctor is hinting pretty strongly that he will limit Medicare patients he handles within the next year and you are around fifty-five.....you might ought to ask some serious questions about the stability of Medicare and how your health will be taken care of when you get up to sixty-five.

If folks around live and breathe NCAA football from early September to late November....you might want to be careful about which you attach yourself to.

If gas gets up to five bucks a gallon....what's the odds of GM, Chrysler or Ford selling big-engine vehicles?  The value of your 18-mpg Ford pick-up in such a dramatic moment?  Just something you might want to think about.

Finally....if some idiot shows up in front of you at the mall or some gas station and asks if your life is better or worse than it was four years ago.....you might want to sit and ask yourself if it's even better or worse than twenty years ago or even forty years ago.  The answer might shock most folks upon reflection.  Some folks were happier in 1987, than they are today, and that might confuse the political poll dimwits greatly.

A Good Husband

This is what we know.

Staff Sargent Judy (last name we will leave out) signed up with the Air Force and is stationed down in Shreveport, Louisiana.  Staff Sargent Judy does logistics work....mostly supply, accounting, etc.  Staff Sargent Judy got orders to go off to some location in the Middle East (unknown where) for a unknown amount of time (I'd be guessing six months, but it might have been twelve months).

Staff Sargent Judy didn't really want to go.....in a bad way.  So she talks to her husband....Staff Sargent Chris. We aren't sure who came up with the idea....but Chris eventually got his smaller caliber gun, and shot Judy in some non-vital area of her body.  Judy gets to the phone....says an intruder shot her.  Cops come.  Cops add up everything.  Cops just come to disbelieve the intruder thing.  Eventually Staff Sargent Judy admits that the husband did a favor and shot her.

Naturally, Bossier City Police aren't amused....so they arrest Staff Sargent Chris.  There's a weapons charge that they can hang on Chris, and I'm guessing a local judge would be nice enough to convict him but give him a suspended sentence.  Judy?  Well....she gave a false report, and faces charges for that.  I'm guessing the local Bossier City judge will convict her and give a suspended sentence for that.  But then, there's the Air Force folks at the back of the line.

Generally, the Air Force doesn't take this kind of foolishness as mature activity.  So I'm guessing a board will convene and discuss both Staff Sargent Judy and Chris.  Judy will likely be given a mental exam and pronounced not-fit for duty....and likely tossed out by early January 2013 (my humble guess).  It might take a month of mental tests to reach that result, but it's a pretty guaranteed result.  Chris?  Shooting your wife doesn't earn any medals, and will earn him a board to meet as well.  They might be split on letting Chris stay, but I'd be leaning to put enough paperwork into his folder and just not allow him to re-enlist as his contract runs out (it might be two or three years).

The thing is....Chris was an awful nice husband....helping his wife out and cooperating with her wishes.  It takes a lot for a guy to pull out a pistol and shoot just precisely at the right location.....and be fairly sure about the results.  Most guys would have screwed up and missed, or perhaps hit a vital organ.

I'm guessing folks around Bossier City and Shreveport are discussing the matter.  Folks don't get too excited there unless there's a flood or such.  And the Air Force?  Well....they likely will be wondering if they need to go around the entire Air Force and warn folks not shoot each other to get out of deployments.  The safer method....time-tested....would have been for Chris to get Judy pregnant, and that would have kept her off the deployment....but obviously, they just weren't interested in that method.