Tuesday 12 November 2013

Parking Cars

Years ago, in sudden hurry, I had to drive up to the Frankfurt airport to dump someone off.  I parked my car in the adjacent parking garage, and did the hour in the airport.  Then I walked back out and to the parking garage.  There, I had this sudden reality.....I could not remember the floor, or the section that I parked the car.

The Frankfurt airport parking garage is roughly six levels, and twelve sections to each level.  I ended up spending around seventy minutes walking around and eventually found my car.  Ever since that event, I always write the floor and section down before I leave the car.

This brings me around to this story that came out in Germany yesterday.  Some Italian guy came up for the Oktorberfest in Munich a few weeks ago.  He found parking in a more remote part of town, and caught a subway train to the fest.  He ate hearty food all day, and sipped some fine German beer.  By late evening....he'd had enough.

The problem now develops.....he didn't remember where the car was.  He spent a number of hours walking around with no luck. The next day?  No luck.  He had to return to Italy without the car.

Over the past month, he's return five times, but had no luck in finding the car.  He put an ad finally in the paper, and advertised a reward.  Someone spotted the vehicle on some street, and called it in.

I sat and pondered over the story.  It's the kind of reality that guys get into.  We plan on the outer fringes of an event.  Getting down the finer details? Well, that's traditionally not what we are famous for doing.  If it hadn't been for the advertisement.....the car might have sat on the street for months, if not years.  Course, it'd make you wonder if 2,000 cars are abandoned on the streets of Munich.

Monday 11 November 2013

The Sucker's Deal

It's an odd expression that Americans tend to hear, but then ask the real meaning.

Allow a guy from Bama to explain.

Gus buys a truckload of Turtlewax-like wax.....that isn't really Turtlewax, but the fake stuff.  Gus pay $1 per bottle for the stuff.  Gus then turns around and advertises the bottles at $7 but then has a "sale" and the newly discounted price is $5.99.  Gus clears five bucks on every bottle.  The gimmick works as long as everyone believes that everything was worth seven bucks in the beginning.  Once people realize that it's not even worth the $1 per bottle that he originally paid, then the "suckers deal" is finished and cannot be discussed anywhere without a laugh.

Well.....this past week, the head guy for France's foreign policy.....called the US bluff on some deal with Iran and it's nuclear stuff.....a sucker's deal.

Plain, blunt talk.

You can imagine the interview being conducted.  Some fancy intellectual news journalist, and then....the talk hits this curious response from the foreign minister.....a sucker's deal.  The US press likely got the tape of the episode, and thought that this must be a bad translated response.  No.....sucker's deal was the actual comment that the guy made.

The deal being structured, is where the big civilized nations of the world (the US, Russia, China, the UK, France, and Germany)....would all sit with Iran and come to a formal agreement about nuclear use.  It'd all be a happy moment, where sanctions would fall and Iran could move forward in a unrestricted economic world.

Over the past month, this new deal looked promising for Iran, and for President Obama....it was likely going to be one of the three big positive points of 2013 for the US.  Everything looked great a couple of weeks ago, and as final details finally got put into the open.....people just sat there and questioned how this was going to fix anything.

A sucker's deal?  It's hard to imagine 2013 ending, and all the various chaotic moments of the US administration for this year, and some French guy has called US foreign policy planning with Iran.....a sucker's deal.

Saturday 9 November 2013

Drone - World?

The story came out near the end of the week....basically the FAA is admitting that they think that 7,500 drones will be flying across American skies in five years.

The FAA doesn't really say what the missions will be....other than hinting that the cops will have some of these.  Beyond that, they are simply working with a plan on how they'd operate, and avoid hitting planes in the sky.  Frankly, they've picked up a 500-pound guerrilla and intend to carefully 'play' with this as much as possible before authorizing the mass of drones.

A guy would sit and ponder at this point.  This 7,500-number?  What the heck would these drones be doing?

I could understand the University of Auburn owning three, and possibly running them around various of the state to take imagery of farms, cropland, and flooded areas.  It'd make some sense.

I could understand some Dallas TV station dumping their chopper, and having a drone for live TV broadcasts....car chases with the cops....and maybe live house fires.

I could understand some governor having a drone just for the purpose of claiming he controls a drone, and it's a state asset.  Status...you know.

So we add up all the TV stations, the university requirements, business drones, do-it-yourself-drones-from-the-garage, and such.  For me.....I'd be thinking more of 350,000 drones within ten years.

Two engineer guys from Bama....with no aeronautical background...will make up their mind to order a kit, and spend eight weekends putting their toy together.  Gus and Marvin will be amazed how simple this was.  They will launch it and spend weeks at the images and maneuverability of their drone.  Never once did they think about getting registered with the government or such.  One day, Marvin suggests putting a mini-rocket on the drone, and fire off the rocket as part of their continuing experiment.  The rocket fires, but then accidentally hits some house-trailer and triggers a three-truck alarm in town.  Cops arrive at the fire, find the rocket, and start to ask stupid questions.  Was this a government rocket?  Was this fired as part of a government conspiracy?  Who has drones for such things?  Marvin and Gus quietly push the drone to the rear of the garage and try to forget about their toy.

The blunt truth is that we are opening up a big mess with drones.  Whoever thinks it's really 7,500 drones.....is just guessing wildly.  Every TV station, every real mayor, every university, every federal agency....will beg for drones.

A Stranger in A Strangeland

CEO's are mostly picked because they have some knowledge or wit over the business world.  They may not grasp the product.  They may not have any ethics.  They may lack in common sense.  They might even demonstrate brilliant incompetence, and just be a clever guy in an empty suit.

This week, via The Times....an interview with the CEO of Ryanair occurred.  Michael O'Leary is Irish, and a bit prone to speak his mind....on any topic. The airline and it's board know that.  He's generally right.  If you measured his level of common sense....it'd be rating near '10' or beyond.

So they asked him over the burka business.  In the UK, there's lots of Islamic women walking around, and a public debate over whether allowing the burka is OK with British tradition.

O'Leary paused for only a second and then spoke at a level that few British leaders would ever do in public.  Basically, by his view, the UK is leaning a bit overboard to support one religious minority.  He used the great example of how one can travel beyond the borders of the UK....to an Islamic state, and then be forced to accept their standards....there's no choice in the matter....you behave by the rules of the place you visit.

O'Leary notes....we seem to have gotten into some new vision....that we don't write rules in the west....forcing people to be western or leave.  We just want to make everyone happy.....and mostly end up making various segments unhappy over this senseless attitude,

This week, I will turn fifty-five and I've traveled a far bit in my life.  I've been to around twenty-five odd countries, and seen various cultures at work.  Traveling changes your perceptions about thing.  Life is different....everywhere you go.

In a curious way, you find that there are three basic rules as a traveler.  First, you accept the unknown.  As much as the book noted ahead of time.....you end up finding dozens....maybe hundreds....of things that you weren't warned about.  Some are pleasant....some not so pleasant.

Second, you learn that you aren't there to change anything, or reshape anyone perceptions.  You are simply there to see a very different place, experience a different culture, and view a society with different priorities.    You ask stupid questions, and always try to act humble and polite.  If you want to stay in that land....you adapt to their standards....not the otherway around.

Third and final, judgements of a traveler....should be kept to one's self or limited.  If you don't like strong coffee....go sip something else.  If you don't like the religious rules of this country....look the other way and shorten the trip.  If the burka business upsets you in that country, try not to gaze at those hot lusty gals with the bedspread over their face.

So after this trip has wrapped up and you've come back to your own country.....you don't really want to face some idiot traveler who has decided to stay in your own country.....and try to reshape your society to fit their own that they left.

You'd like to lay out some simple customs....basic rules of public action.....and let the new visitor do their thing.  But after a while, you soon figure that they aren't here to fall into your customs....they'd rather you just accept them as they are.  The trouble is....if you visited their country....they'd have very drastic expectations of what you needed to do.

Americans tend to make interesting travelers.  We will travel to the ends of the Earth.  We sip great Scotch.  We eat some fine German pork.  We ride on fantastic trains in France.  We lie under an umbrella in Denmark with a breeze off the ocean, and almost no one on the beach.  We eat Greek sweets that aren't loaded with chocolate.  We read through British newspapers that amaze us with real news....not that fake political stuff from back in the US.  We even turn on the German state-run TV network and are shocked that someone would make a 45-minute documentary on people who live under bridges.

Then, the American typically returns home.  He's had enough.

Some Americans operate with a unlimited "enough", and just stay around traveling to take more and more doses of life's differences.

The Islamic society?  Well....they just aren't good travelers, and they make lousy choices at moving somewhere else....thinking they'd fit into that culture.  Weeks and months pass, and the Islamic guy hasn't really done much to fit.....doing more instead to make the new country accept them.

O'Leary is kinda right.  Maybe we need a refreshing insight like this occasionally.

Friday 8 November 2013

Dead-Guy Politics

It's often hard to be an American....occasionally explaining to some German or sorts....on how we had an election in some town, and the dead candidate won.  It's even harder....to explain how dozens, perhaps hundreds, and maybe even thousands of dead folks vote in regular elections.

This week....based on news reports....there's at least two candidates for small-time offices who won, yet they are dead (passed-on, as we say in Bama).

Yeah, the voters knew it.  This had been printed up in the regional newspapers, and if you read them.....you'd know that "Joe" was dead.  The general problem is that no one in either party wants to invent some rule where the political party steps in and selects a last-minute replacement....who immediately loses the race.

Naturally, there are rules where the dead guy can't occupy the office....so the county commission, the mayor, the governor....etc....picks some temporary replacement, and they run up another election in less than twelve months.

Dead-guy politics are difficult to figure out.  If there's a week left in the election....it's hard for any newspaper to come up and criticize a dead guy, his record, or his personal habits (boozing it up, gambling in Vegas, trailer-trashy women, missing neighbors, bar fights, corruption, real estate deals with fake companies, etc).

Once you are passed-on as a political candidate....it's pretty clear sailing.  Even your opponent can't say much against you.

Politics usually involves flip-flopping around....course, for a dead guy running for office, there's no more flip-flopping.  Positions are iron-tight at this point.

You'd think a third-party candidate would suddenly get a bunch of votes, and things might get more interesting, but that never happens.

So onward goes an American tradition.  Dead-guys can win an election.  Dead voters can determine close elections.  And it's all part of being a Republic....sadly.

Thursday 7 November 2013

Simply Observations

Quietly, it's being reported that in North Carolina....there's just one guy so far who has moved through the maze of the web site of Affordable Healthcare (ACA).  The trouble is....after he has selected the package and cleared every single detail....he has yet to "pay" for the package.  He doesn't count....until he actually has cleared the pay-deal of this.  The truth is.....he might just think long and hard over the higher cost deal, and just walk away.....saying he'll do without healthcare.  State officials aren't saying much.  You can imagine the dismal and comic question within North Carolina....will "Joe" do it or walk?

After months of analysis....some scientist dudes have finished up examining the body and remains of the Palestinian guy.....Arafat.  Yeah, he's been actually dead now for almost nine years (less you forget).  Basically, they agree now....he died of polonium radiation poisoning.  No, it's not the kinda stuff you'd pick up at Piggly Wiggly and ingest by accident, or just stumble by in some state park or such.    Everyone and their brother all jumped on the AIDS wagen after Arafat died and died whispered over how it might have been that.  Course, doctors tested, and that just didn't come up.  Who gave Arafat the polonium stuff?  Well....so far....the only nation that has used the stuff for murder and such....has been Russia.  Course, why would the Russian intelligence guys pick on Arafat?  Israel?  Why murder the sole member of the PLO who they knew like a book and could feel reliable on his management style?  Now what?  The smart guys just aren't saying.  They merely know the exact cause of death.

Twitter and it's IPO.  Basically, you have a company that is going public today, with a marginal method of making profits.  After all these years....Yahoo has shown that it's marginally able to pull in profit.  Same for Google.  Same for Facebook.  Is Twitter worth $25 a share?  Maybe....in an imaginary world of unicorns, leprechauns, and imaginary warriors with swords.  In a year, it could be worth $50 a share.  In a year or two, it might be bought by Microsoft and built within their package.  You just don't know.  If you were looking at dependability, dividends, and stability.....you'd best invest in something like Pepsi, McDonalds, or Coke....not Twitter.

Out in some New Mexico town....local cops stopped some younger guy....believing he had dope.  They felt he had it hidden in his rear-end.  Yeah, it's no joke.  So after messing around with him....cops took him to the local hospital and had the doctors run various procedures to examine his rear end.  Yeah, colonoscopy was mentioned, along with an enema or two, and a x-ray.  Nothing.  No drugs.  The bill?  Well, that's the funny thing....it was sent to this young guy.  Six thousand dollars on the bill....to prove innocence?  The young guy hired a lawyer.  Presently, it looks like a pretty simple case to win.  The expected haul?  A million.  The young guy probably has to pay the lawyer around $300,000, but he'd get $700,000 for a couple of stupid guys forcing him to have a colonoscopy.  Me?  For $700,000....I'd do it.  Most guys from Bama would stand up and do it for $700,000. The town council in this case isn't talking much, and I'm pretty sure they are peeved over the cops.  In Bama, if cops pulled you over and demanded you do a colonoscopy to prove your innocence.....most folks would pull weapons and start making threats.

Some couple in New York....got to the final details of the cost of the new health care deal via ACA. They used the web site and got to the final estimate of cost. They were fairly shocked at the cost for a married couple.  Then, they plugged in the info....as singles, and came to realize that the guy made such a low income....that'd he'd qualify for federal subsidies, and get a really good cheap policy.  Yeah....as singles....the better pricing existed over them in divorced status.  So, under the natural way of thinking.....they got to this idea of considering a divorce....to find better pricing for health care.  For me to explain this to anyone, but particularly to a German....it gets to being awful hard.  I can only guess that the mythical formula in that 2,000 page bill that became law....creates a thousand different scenarios....being single in certain states....being married in certain states.....maybe even being dead in certain states.

Clever

“Someone has to tell the president it's not clever to be seen trying to be clever."

-- George Will commenting on the Fox News over the President, 6 Nov 2013

There are roughly four categories of clever people....at least by my humble opinion.  Folks from Bama....after a number of years....start to classify this kind of stuff, and readily identify folks falling into one of these four categories.

First, there's the clever guy who has a thousand gadgets in the garage, work-shop, house, or farm.  He's always looking for the easier way to get things done.  He wants a tool for every single job.  He desires a status within the community as Mister Gadget.  Folks go to visit him and get insight over the newest lawn mower, the best hay rake, or this new satellite radio stuff.  The guy is smart, and knows it.

Second, there's the guy who quietly sits through a long-winded fifteen-minute discussion on a problem, then utters a 11-word solution.  Folks sit in amazement at the simplicity of the solution, and how direct his words were.  He's the guy that you could dump all the parts to a 1937 Ford on the ground, and would quietly go to assemble the vehicle without any directions.  This guy never talks about his wit or cleverness....never bragging....never standing up in a crowd.

Third, there's the guy who goes off to college or university....spends four to six years there.....coming back with a university degree....and pretends he actually learned something but hasn't gained a single bit of insight or knowledge.  He's a wannabe clever guy.  He'd like to be seen as smart or clever, but the truth is....he's just a regular guy like most of us.

Finally, the fourth guy.  This is the guy in the suit.....who has some folks around him who seem bright, and thus the suited guy pretends he is clever.  The suited guy has zero cleverness in himself.  If you threw some lego bricks on the ground and asked him to assemble them....he'd ask you for the plan or ask if he can bring in his crew.  The suited guy always lays claim to cleverness, but can never explain anything in detail....it's mostly some $9 words, mentioned over and over, and he acts like you'd never understand what he and his crew did.  The suited guy tends to always talk about the future, and some clever act of accomplishment coming up.  If you asked the suited guy about clever accomplishments in the past....it'd be a limited list to brag about.  The suited guy works for some church, some company, some store, or some government office.  He's clever about acting clever.....but beyond that....he just isn't clever.

Bama folks aren't world renown for anything much....except for NCAA football, gospel music, hunting, fishing, and common sense.  We have produced a bunch of clever guys.....but since there's four categories....we are careful not to brag over our winners and losers of cleverness.

Wednesday 6 November 2013

A Description of Tennessee

"The beauty of Tennessee is a grand panorama, 100 miles in width, and 450 miles in length, with rugged mountains, beautiful valleys and broad, extended plains; majestic rivers, murmuring brooks and sparkling foundations; somber forests, green pastures and golden fields; beautiful flowers, luscious fruits, vineclad hills with purple clusters---Grandeur, beauty and loveliness harmoniously blending with lights and shadows, enrobing vat deposits of iron, coal, marble, copper, zinc and slate, all of which for ages have slumbered in nature’s repose, awaiting the magic touch of capital and labor". 

-- First lines of a speech by Chauncey M. Depew at the Lookout Mountain banquet given to Southern Express employees, reported in the Herald and Tribune in Johnson City, 22 Jun 1893 (it was a dollar a year for the subscription in those days).

I enjoy reading old newspapers.  Guys sat around....without the aid of computers and typewriters, and spent hours writing speeches, which would be turned around and used for script in the local newspapers.

This piece?  It's a six-line one-sentence episode.  My English grammar instructor with Louisiana Tech would have had a fit.

It'd be interesting to know how many speeches a year that Mr Depew gave.  He was a life-long Republican....having given speeches in support of John Freemont (1856) and Lincoln (1860).  He was a part of the Vanderbilt railway system for a number of years.  He probably gave well over a thousand speeches....maybe even two thousand speeches....in his life.  He lived onto be 93 years old and passed away in 1928.

Time magazine felt he deserved a front cover....in December of 1924.

The thing is.....guys would get this copy of the Herald and Tribune, and spend an entire hour or two pouring over it.  It was the one-single connection that you had to the rest of the world.

When someone wrote up a big speech and it got onto the front page....you can imagine a group of folks on the front porch of some house on a Sunday afternoon.  They spoke the whole speech in a slow manner, in absolute dictation of proper English, and were grinning over the wondrous description of their state.

The words made them humble, but feel awful proud of being in the greatest state on the face of the Earth.  So you can imagine these six lines....spoken over and over....running terribly long for just one sentence, but being discussed for hours.

This was the real world for these people.  Feeling proud, and successful.

Sadly, things have fallen a fair bit since 1893.  Six-liners wouldn't work today.  Most of the news on the front page is garbage.  You tend to end a thirty-minute reading and feel more depressed, than happy.  Something in American life has changed for the worse.

Healthcare and the Circus Mentality

I was sitting here this morning....reading through the news and various forums....and this little personal story popped up.

It's about this guy....who got the note from his healthcare insurance folks.  They noted the old policy is going away.  He was happy with the $500 a month old plan, and it's yearly deductible of $3000.  It was acceptable.

The new deal?  Well....it kinda stayed around $500 a month, but the deductible went up to $10,000 for the family package.  It means....he'd have to find another seven thousand bucks....to stay alive through 2014, before any of the insurance ($6000 for the entire year) would kick in to help him.

It's seven thousand that he doesn't have.  It's seven thousand of debt that he has to absorb somewhere.  It's seven thousand of less money for other things (vacations, new refrigerator, replacement car, weekend trips to the mountains, or new mattress for the bed).

He's angry.  He's frustrated.  He's asking questions.  He'd like to know who gets the blame.

Across the nation, I'd take a guess at fifty million who will fall into this pit for 2014.  Sadly, it only gets worse as we get to July, and the newer rates for 2015 come out.  They will....absolutely will....be higher.

The thing is....as bad as we were in 2008 with thirty million unhappy people complaining about health care options in America....over the next year....we will have around a hundred million Americans who complain about the deductible situation, limited doctors or hospitals in their areas, and fewer options in their future.

The truth?  We just invented a bigger mess.  It's like everyone whining that we'd really like to have a circus come and visit our little town.....then on that fateful day....the circus finally arrives, and Larry the lion escapes to terrorize the town over an entire evening....killing and maiming dozens before calm returns.

In this case....we've got at least a thousand Larry the lions who've escaped from the traveling circus, terrorizing the nation, with the mayor and chief of police talking up "if you like the lions, they can stay"....and the only weapon we've got to defend ourselves is a BB-gun.  Frankly, something is wrong here.

Tuesday 5 November 2013

The Tests of Plato and Play-Doh

Someone brought this up in a forum, and I'm a bit amazed by it.

Some colleges are fine-tuning their questions on new applicants to the university.  You can't allow just anyone to walk in and sit through forty boring hours of Egyptian history, physical characteristics of beer, or Italian poetry.

So the new question being added is: what does play-doh have to do with Plato (that Greek thinker dude)?

You'd sit there for three minutes and imagine play-doh in one hand, and deep thought-provoking philosophy in the other hand.  It's kinda like mixing Mountain Dew and fine Scotch.  It wasn't meant to be compared.

The true answer?  Well....play-doh is used to describe the shape of things and help the person grasp shape.  Plato's entire thought process is that everything has shape....whether in true form, imaginative form, or fantasy form.  It's a shape thing.

A guy could answer this with three sentences and be done.  A guy could spend four hours and three hundred lines explaining how shapes in doh and thinking.....all meet at some point.

It's a sad state of our current society.....trying to think, ponder, and conclude vast questions in a simple format.

A guy from Bama would look over this mess and offer new questions:

What does the Grand Ole Oprey and Tom Cruise have in common?

What characteristics of the Ford F-150 pick-up lend itself to nuclear fusion?

Whats the true objective of a trucked loaded down with ball bearings and failed brakes?

What is the common point between a bunch of drunks at a honky-tonk and a bunch of drunks at a disco-dance club?

Is it better to be hit by lightning while under a tree, or on a hill, or by a septic tank?

Would it be better to sit in a house trailer of meth-heads or a house trailer of drunk Baptist ministers?

You see....the whole game to simple old-fashioned university attendance....was that after four lousy years....you left and were better able to think.  You weren't smarter.  You weren't imaginative.  You weren't gifted.  You weren't blessed.  You just had some better sense to think and ponder on some stupid subject.  Yeah, like kinda thinking of play-doh and Plato on serious projects, problems and consequences.

Our great world in 2013.

Technology Tells a Story

The Washington Post published an interesting article over gunshots in DC.  You see....a while back....someone sought technology and found this sensor package called SpotSpotter.

SpotSpotter works in a simple fashion.....it lays out listening pods, and transmits data back to a central computer.  It's there....listening....twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year.  It tells you the spot and direction of the gunshot.  A cop could.....if he had additional tools like street-light cams, recording devices, and such....pinpoint the area and note all of the car-tags that are seen around that area for the next minute or two.

What SpotSpotter says?  There have been 39,000 gunshots in DC since deployment of the system around eight years ago.  If you do the statistics......figuring an area of six by six miles....an urban area.....no hunting situations....vast anti-gun rules in place.....then you've got a heck of a lot of shooting.

The Post attached an interesting graphic with the article.  The timing of shots is displayed.  It's a curious thing.....from 6AM to 6PM.....there just isn't that many shots being noted by the sensors.  From 8PM to 3AM?  Things pick up drastically, with a peak around midnight for shootings.

I would imagine if you took these statistics and went to Memphis, Birmingham, or Atlanta....you'd find the same trends.  Thugs come out after 10PM and troll the streets looking for trouble.....getting tired around 3AM and heading home.

How many towns across the nation have the sensors?  Not enough....if you ask me.

Sunday 3 November 2013

The Goodness of Nuke Power?

"We understand that today's nuclear plants are far from perfect."

 -- Final quote on paper advocating pursuing nuclear power because it's the only way to forstal global warming/global cooling/cool change. Writers: James Hansen, a former top NASA scientist; Ken Caldeira, of the Carnegie Institution; Kerry Emanuel, of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology; and Tom Wigley, of the University of Adelaide in Australia.

It's an odd paper presented by the four global warming experts.  They basically stand and admit that recyclable energy is nowhere near the point of helping to turn the tide and prevent the terrible future of global warming.

So, plan B?  Keep nuke power turned on....for the seeable future.  They don't exactly advocate building more nuke plants, but it's hard to see any alternate build-up if you turn off the evil coal-plants, and want to keep the lights turned on.

I'm guessing a fair sized proportion of the green culture will read the report....feel shocked that they were deceived into believing that the anti-nuke power stance and global warming culture.....aren't walking hand-in-hand toward the future.

The blunt truth?  Go and attend any car show of the past two years and note the number of battery cars on display.  The car industry is moving toward battery cars....in the belief that someone will buy them, produce the power necessary to charge them, and be happy over the future direction.  They aren't idiots.

Somewhere out there.....there has to be a magic number of wattage being talked about and an increase in electrical production down the line.  If you buy less gasoline.....there's some electrical power upsurge that will be required.  Will it come from magic beans, alien pyramid platforms, or some yet-to-be-developed technology?

Reality is a tough thing to accept.....if you think about it long enough.

The Invisible Database

It's a little story that won't really be mentioned much....but it'd make you sit and ponder.

Jim Angle works for Fox News.  Jim wanted to experience the 1-800 business with ObamaCare's call-in center.  So Jim went to a unlisted phone...not a Fox News phone....and called.

The 1-800 technician eventually answered and to help Jim.....the 1-800 guy asked a few questions which would allow him to help Jim in a better way.....name, address, etc.

Well....there's a pause in the conversation at this point....while the 1-800 ObamaCare's technician is looking at the data.

Then the technician says....oh, you work for the media.  Jim kinda paused at this point.

Then the technician said.....we will put you on the resolution technician listing and he'll call you up in two to five business days, and they were basically finished.

So Jim is waiting....ever so patiently for the resolution expert to call from the 1-800 center.

Jim is wondering.....without his social security number....without identifying himself.....without saying he was a reporter.....how they could possibly know that he was a news journalist from the media.

The answer?  Somewhere out there.....someone has amassed a database, which is connected to every single American, their occupation, their employer, and it's working as they planned it.

This brings me back around to this odd government mandate....not the date business....but that you had to be connected to this government web site.....name, address, etc.....to get into the "system".  If you weren't poor or needing the government grant business for your health care....this wouldn't really matter and it was all a wasted piece of the overall plan.  Course, maybe herding everyone through this funnel and requiring them to play the database game....was the key part to start with.

This next week....some gal or guy will call Jim.  Jim will ask how they knew it was media.....and resolution geek will have to find some really good and creative answer to give.  If you ask me.....the gimmick just won't work if we confirm the database exists.

Thursday 31 October 2013

A Little NSA Issue

It is a small odd story that makes a guy from Bama ponder.

News sources now say (a 9 Jan 2013 memo).....that NSA geeks were receiving millions and millions of records per day from Google and Yahoo.  Emails, text messages, photos, videos, songs, etc.

The government is sitting there presently....on tons of already gathered data, and will continue on receiving such data, until someone says "stop".

But here's this oddball thing.  Somewhere in this billion-trillion pile of data....are tens of thousands....perhaps millions....of porn.  Lusty stuff, old stuff from the 1960s, fancy Swedish stuff, California stuff, movie-actress stuff, postal workers in various poses, gothic women with other gothic women, guys dressed in pink overalls and doing lusty stuff, and even some video stuff with semi-prominent Congressmen and Senators.

It's all there on some government server.  There's some odd rules about government servers.  You just can't have any lusty stuff stored on them.  There's actually a fed rule about that.

There's also a fed rule about copyrighted music.....being on a fed server.  You just can't load such music on such a server.

There's a rule about movies on fed servers.

All of these things....are actual federal violations.  You could end up in a federal court, if you were the server administrator and allowed such things to flourish or populate your server.....doing nothing about it.

The behavior of NSA and it's data crowd?  Just overlook those particular rules.  The problem is....it's an actual federal law.  And by walking over it....one has to wonder what other laws are not to be enforced?

Saturday 17 August 2013

The Tile Story

Years ago....working in the intelligence field....I was detailed one day to go and help some folks unload a truck out front, and bring some items into the vault.

I get out front, and it's a truckload of acoustic sound absorbing tiles.  There's some project to redo a conference room, and make it absolutely sound-proof.

I was thinking the tiles would be the same as regular ceiling tiles.  I was wrong.  They were a bit heavier, and this tote-job took up most of the morning, and made this Bama guy sweat a fair amount as I helped the other guys carry in hundreds of these tiles.

Days would pass, and the room would be rendered sound-proof. As it was completed, I walked in and stood there with five or six other folks.  To be honest, for some odd reason....I got feeling dizzy.  Sound just didn't carry right.  I left the room after two minutes.

I bring this story up because out of DC this past week....they had this acoustic tile episode to occur.

At some fancy musical auditorium.....in the midst of some serious jazz music....heavy acoustic tiles from the ceiling just let go, and came crashing down on the audience.  The authorities note that eight folks got taken away by ambulance to the local hospital with varying injuries.

You can imagine this chaos.....folks laying there.....other folks screaming.....and some security guys thinking it was a jihad attack or something.

The only thing now that the auditorium folks will say is that the tiles loosen up and just fell.  I'm suspecting lawyers will sort this out, and every guy taken off to the hospital will get an initial offer of $5,000.  No one will accept that, and eventually most will get $50,000.  Me personally?  I wouldn't mind getting whacked in the head with a ceiling tile....for $50,000.

The NSA Bama Analyst

Based on news comments this week....it's apparent that a massive amount of our emails and telephone calls, are being browsed or checked by some NSA analyst.  I sat and pondered upon this.

Around eight in the morning....Ben arrives at his NSA job and clocks in.  He's the Bama analyst, and has the job of checking through traffic and calls from the previous day.

So Ben starts with emails.  First, there's the one between one Auburn football enthusiast and a University of Alabama enthusiast.  There's a bit of aggravation by the Auburn guy, and this guy says that he thinks Muslim radicals have taken over the football program.

Then the second email is read.  This is commentary from one Bama guy to a cousin about the local Dollar General Store being taken over by Chinese Islamic folks.  He writes on and on.....roughly five pages....of mostly incoherent stuff.

The third email?  It's from some agency in Florida who was contacted by a Bama guy to provide a go-go dancer for the guy's buddy and his bachelor party in two weeks.  The company says they can't provide Wanda....she's busy.  But they've got Trudy, who did some go-go dancing in the late 1990s.

The fourth email?  It's a difficult to read email from some Baptist minister to members of his congregation over the consumption of alcohol.  There's about forty verses cited, but none of the verses have anything to do with drinking booze.  Ben is a bit frazzled at this point and takes a NSA-approved ten minute break.

Upon returning....Ben now goes to the phone recordings.  The first one is from some concerned wife over her husband listening to Islamic ministers on some AM station out of Mobile.

The second call is from some guy complaining about his transmission job.  He thinks the guy is a Muslim and did a lousy job because of the "Vote Obama" sticker on his car.

The third call is a 30-minute conversation between two Red Bay women and the possibility of aliens existing.

The fourth call is a six-minute talk between one meth user, and another meth user.  There are a total of twelve words spoken over the six minutes by the two guys.  Nothing makes much sense over what was spoken.

The fifth call is from a Dothan high school kid and his school teacher.  It's fairly intimate and the NSA guy listens intently as various fantasy talk is discussed between the two.  For a brief moment, the NSA guy would like to give the kid some advice but remembers the forty-four standard NSA rules of non-interference.

The sixth call is from a astrology gal from Athens to her customer.  She's advising him of some woes coming up this week over NCAA football, a black dog, a storm cloud, and George Bush.  The guy is worried, and the astrology lady advises him to come by for a more personal reading.  She mentions the cost of $75.

The seventh call is between a guy from Birmingham who is set up for a blind-date with a gal from Guntersville.  He wants directions, and keeps asking about her looks.

The NSA guy takes lunch at this point.  To be honest, he's a bit burned out, and would like to be transferred to the Florida division.  There's too much of nothing chatter....too much NCAA football....too much wrestling updates....too much gossip....and too much talk over Bible interpretation.

After lunch, the highlight of the afternoon is a seventeen line text message that some Bama guy sent to his daughter about the evils of smoking, the evils of drinking, and the evils of carousing.  The daughter has responded back that she is forty-six years old and knows all the various evils, plus another seventy-two newer evils.

The NSA guy clocks out at 5PM, and gets into the car.  He's never been to Bama in his life....having grown up in Queens, New York and attended a fancy-pants university in New Hampshire.  He had higher aspirations in life when he joined the NSA.  He thought he'd be going after the bad Islamic guys, but he spends forty hours a week....focused strictly on Bama folks.

To be honest, this NSA guy would like to pack up, and move to Florence, Bama....where he's heard a good bit about their great golf courses, and low cost of living.  He's got a list of sixteen different Baptist Churches he could attend, and already has the phone-numbers of a dozen eligible single ladies with the right educational background and already knows their personalities.

Tomorrow?  A new and fresh day, with fresh phone calls, and more emails.

Wednesday 14 August 2013

Church (Club) of England

The Church of England has worked itself up into an interesting discussion on God, his holy planet, and fracking.

It's hard to figure how you'd make this discussion work.  The idea laid out by the Church of England....is that God has given us a planet with limited resources, and we should not destroy the work of God.....in his creation of this planet.

Naturally.....fracking is the work of the devil (not said but you can't avoid missing that connection).

When you go over to their site....there's an entire page where the ministers of the church have written up a simplified version of what fracking is about and how it does harm.  At one point, they note reports of fracking contaminating US wells....yet there's isn't one substantiated case where this has ever been proven and no court has ever acknowledged this and given a claim to anyone.

The ministers then go to note pollution created by transport trucks involved in fracking, and the leaking of storage tanks on fracking sites.  Again, no state or federal authority has ever identified leaking tanks that were connected to fracking sites.  As for the pollution of transport trucks?  Well....you could make the case that people driving their cars to a church service.....create as much or more pollution.

I looked over the Church of England's web site.  There's a flurry of activity connected to oil, natural gas, global warming, global cooling, and climate change.  

Naturally, all of these issues relate to man's own fault.  If God wanted the Earth to heat up....he'd just make it happen, without the help of man.  If God wanted to chill the Earth....he'd just wave a hand and make it happen....without the aide of man.  If God wanted the fracking oil to special and precious, and never be used.....God probably would have dumped all this specially blessed oil a great deal deeper and made fracking a terrible pain.

It would seem that souls and blessings....come second to the Church of England....where they worry a bit on man, science, and climate episodes.  Would they pray to God to stop global warming?  My humble guess is no.  Would they pray to God to push the holy fracking oil deeper into the Earth to prevent man from using it?  No....I doubt it.  Would they pray that God lays down a mighty tidal wave to wash away all of the whale hunter ships from Japan?  Well....no.

I'm not sure what the ministers for the Church of England really pray for.  And I'm probably going out on the limb for this comment....but I doubt if they are capable of praying for much...except for the health of their membership.....ever dwindling each and every year.  Dying off?  Well....due to climate change and some newly discovered suffering called "age-change".....it is drastically affecting the church.

Yes, age-change is hurting the world and we probably need to elevate it to a worldly problem.  And sadly, it was probably the one thing that God just figured was right to inject into our society.  Fracking?  Well....if you ask me.....God must have handed it down to the right guys....and has no intention of interfering.

Sunday 11 August 2013

Sometimes, Things Twist More Than You'd Expect

Normally, it'd be a Arlington story that went national, and then just ran out of steam after five days at the national level.  Air Force officer....heading up the Air Force office at the Pentagon over sexual assault.  Lt Col Jeff Krusinki....out drinking late at night in Arlington.....does some kinda pat on the butt of some gal in a bar parking lot.

It was a big deal nationally, and got tons of attention.  Just so terrible.....over and over....the journalists could not get enough of the episode.

Well....quietly (it won't be covered nationally now).....the Arlington charges have been changed.  They won't run sexual assault charges now.  Explanation....it's not exactly clear.  The local guys are only saying it's going to be assault charges only.  You could still get a year for that.....but it draws some questions why it can't be sexual assault.

Then, you start to notice a strange thing about the location of this parking lot.  There are a couple of bars within distance of this area where the 'event ' occurred.  One of them?  It's a cross-dresser gay bar.  Yeah, the kind of place where guys dress as women, drink, party, and have a good time.

So this has gotten some folks to wondering.  This woman who complained and called the cops on Lt Col Jeff Krusinski?  Was it a real woman or a fake woman?

If it's a fake woman....sexual assault charges in a Virginia court become awful hard to establish and prove.  Plain old assault?  Well....even fake women have their day in court over this.

But you have to grasp this....so far....no one has said it's a fake gal.  The national news folks?  Well, they'd prefer not to get into details like this.....because it spoils the original story they wrote.  And it's screwing up the agenda.

For the officer?  Well, it starts to be more of a mess if it was a fake woman, and it's best to start planning on some second career path.....maybe as a Sears manager, county agricultural agent, or dairy farmer.

The Other Eden

There was a piece over at Al.Com.....entitled: Alabama the Beautiful (by Magic City Writer) that caught my interest this morning.

Few people come to grasp this.  Bama actually ranks fifth in the nation....in species diversity.

Bama has over sixty types of terrestrial ecosystems.  It provides twenty-five forests to the nation.  It offers eleven wetlands.  It even offers up seven glades/prairies.  All of this, and over 75,000 miles of rivers, streams, and creeks.

Hunters would rattle off at least a hundred animals within the state that you could spend a Saturday afternoon looking for.

Fisherman would shed a tear as they described the dozens of fish that they've caught over the past thirty years.

A pine tree enthusiast would chatter for an hour over the various pines that you could see out in Limestone county.

A Bankhead Forest resident would need four hours to conclude his description of the local surroundings.

A Dolphin Island resident would drag out some digital notebook with fourteen thousand pictures of birds, fish, crabs, and weird creatures that they'd seen over their lifetime.

A farmer would sit and spend an entire afternoon at the local gas station noting the sixty-six different garden variety items that he's got growing this summer, and how proud he is over this year's successful pea crop.

On and on....even NASCAR freaks and NCAA football folks would pause and describe the abundance of diversity in nature within the borders of Bama.

Then, you'd come to some minister, who'd round this up in typical fashion.  Yes, it would be deserving of a Sunday sermon.....that Bama is in effect....the "other" Eden.  God blessed Bama....giving it more nature than a state really deserves.  God then directed animals to expand in abundance.  The end of the sermon?  We need to give thanks for such an Eden, and live our lives in appreciation.

Somewhere in the back of the church....some guy would be sitting there and pondering.  Eden ended up going off-track and spiraling out of control....once folks gave up their naive nature and got some bit of understanding of their surroundings.  It's best to just accept what you got, not brag too much, and hope heavily for a dynamic NCAA season.  In that case, we rank number one already, and don't need much discussion, or preaching.

Thursday 8 August 2013

Those Sneaky Americans

We were devious plotters....from the very beginning.

We plotted to take down the banks of the world.

We plotted to bring crappy television shows to third-world republics.

We plotted to make the world's population addicted to our tobacco.

We plotted to hook everyone into the internet....eventually to spy on their every single move.

We plotted to commercialize pain-killers to such a degree, that people from around the world would become addicted to them.

We plotted to expand violence into entertainment.....so that that the world would be a terrible place to live in.

We plotted to expand out racism, and everyone is part of the overall strategy.

Yes, all of this.....and no one ever caught onto our master plan.

A Dead Topic

USA Today rarely goes out and does five-star old-fashioned journalism....with investigative reporting.  This week, they published one of the more fascinating articles of the year.

What they figured out after requesting information from the Federal Election Commission....was that dead Americans had contributed roughly $600,000 to candidates since 2009.  We are talking....absolutely dead, with a death certificate to prove so.

It was a nifty little article, with only one issue.  I would have liked to known their thinking, but the journalists can't really go back and ask these dead guys what they were thinking when they wrote the checks.

The odds here?  Most all of these were folks who got hyped up and wrote out some $100, or $3000 check to some candidate....Republican or Democrat....and died the next day.  They died via heat attacks, heat stroke, car accidents, chain-saw accidents, food poisoning, snake bite, drowning while fishing, or died under suspicious circumstances.

I should note here that USA Today says that roughly $250,000 of that money came to Democratic candidates, with the Libertarians safely in the second spot.  Dead Republican enthusiasts were the least likely to donate money.  What this says.....most dead Republicans just are plain stingy with their money, and it's better off spent in some other fashion.

Simply Observations

There was a travel association meeting this week in San Diego.  One of the topics that came out....was this wild suggestion of allowing you to buy half of the third-seat in a row.  Instead of making three guys fit into a very tight space....you'd have two guys sitting in an ample area.  The problem with the idea?  They said right off the bat....you'd have to pay fifty percent of what the seat currently costs.  The positive?  Well....if you had six rows on a plane that you converted to the two-seat scheme, then you'd have fewer passengers on the plane, thus less weight, and fewer bags (less weight too).  So the airline would save money, while making money.  The reaction by the airlines?  They didn't really want to touch the subject....thinking folks just won't pay fifty percent more for what amounts to a 75-minute flight between city A and city B.  To be honest, I suspect that half the public would be willing to stand for an entire flight of sixty minutes, and you could squeeze another extra sixty passengers onto a plane that normally carries 120 passengers.

The Pentagon has said that gay military couples have to be married....to get these military benefit packages.  So they've hustled up this deal....if you are gay and not married to your partner....they will give you (give is really stretched here) a 10-day pass to get married in a state that allows gay marriage.  Ten days.....free....to get married.  You can sense that some anti-gay folks will get frustrated with this deal.  Non-gays won't be offered the ten-day deal, and I'm guessing it will be noted at hundreds of staff meetings around the Air Force.  How many folks will run out to get married?  Maybe a hundred to two hundred couples.  I suspect some folks will review their arrangement and just not feel comfortable marrying their partner, preferring single-status.  And the number of divorces from this get married quick deal?  Well, it's best not to bring up this topic.

Zillow does real estate estimates as part of their gimmick.  So they took on the White House and say it's worth $319 million at the current real estate pricing. It's hard to say it's accurate or a fair value.  Some would say the White House is worth a billion.  Some would say it's worth $500,000 because of the neighborhood around it.

Jeff Bezos, after buying the Washington Post, has said in public comments that newspapers will generally all be dead in twenty years.  The only way they survive in his imagination....is digital form.  He may have a point, and maybe his intention of handling the weak Post's profit margin....is to dissolve it from paper print, and require everyone to get a subscription to get a copy.  He might also be able to move half of the journalists of the newspaper out of DC, and into some cheaper surroundings....like southern Virginia, to avoid some of the cost issues.

Finally, while I generally avoid discussing baseball topics....this Alex Rodriguez suspension announcement of the last couple of days....is a major episode.  He will sit and challenge baseball management over this, while still playing and collecting a pay-check.  My humble guess is that no real court decision will be handed down until April-May of 2014....a few weeks into next year's season.  It'll go against him, and the 200-odd game suspension will go into effect.  For the Yankees, it means picking out your replacement third-baseman by the end of spring training, and just have him sitting in AAA until X-day.  This new guy gets roughly 130 games of the 2014 season, and at least half the games of the 2015 season.  He will be a permanent asset of the team.  Rodriguez?  Well....how do you come back eighteen months later and play at any decent level?  The team will likely use him only as a DH, and he won't hit for any value.  Yet, the Yanks are stuck with this guy for 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, and 2018.  He may not make anything during the 200-odd game suspension but they have to still pay him for the remaining years.  The big loss here?  I'm guessing Alex has a hefty monthly allowance and living cost situation, and he's probably not prepared for eighteen months with nothing coming in.  His agent?  Same deal.....he was likely getting five-to-ten percent of Alex's monthly income.  If you had to pick a major-league with player with zero value and five years of remaining contract.....this guy is the 'king'.

Wednesday 7 August 2013

Detroit Math

In public information....the city of Detroit will admit that they have around 2,030 cops hired for the city.  But the city also admits.....that roughly only one-third of this group....actually patrols the city....day and night.

So you sit and do the math here.

Roughly 630 guys are around, doing day, night, and weekend duty.  At any one time....there might be one hundred cops moving around the city.  I doubt if there's more than eighty to a hundred guys actually on patrol at night.

The remaining 1,400 guys?  Well, that's not clear.

Some are likely detectives.  Some are management.  Some are HR.  Some are payroll clerks.  Some are jail management folks.  Some are doing duty at the city hall.  Some are pulling hours over at various schools.

The problem with this math equation for Detroit....is that half of these 1,400 'other' folks....probably aren't doing anything worth discussion.  They attend meetings, check up on new cops, and spend time talking to the city council.

For years and years....New Orleans had fake cops on the force, and checks going out monthly.  For some reason, I have the feeling that Detroit has the same issue.

The Norwegian Story

Back in July 2011.....Norwegians went through a mass killing with Anders Breivik....seventy-seven folks dead....the vast majority being teenagers at a island retreat for a particular political party.  The intent of the murders?  Breivik claims he took out an entire generation of this dominant political party, and that the country will drift to the right in the coming years.

The competency of Breivik?  That was challenged, and he passed every single evaluation with flying colors.

The cops quickly took possession of the guy, and the country went through a one-year process of a court case.  The most they could give him?  Twenty-one years.  Justice was served as best as the law is written.  The judge did one slap on the hands of the guy in the end.....no use of the internet for the twenty-one years.

This week, Breivik has sent an application form to the University of Oslo.  There's a bit of anxiety over this.  Some Norwegians don't want him to have access to public resources.  Some don't want him to have any public view.

For the university, it's an odd problem.  They have encountered jail requests in the past, and worked around the issues by using internet access and having an occasional visit by an instructor.  In this case, someone would have to approach the court and have the lack of internet access revoked.  I'm taking a humble guess here that no one with the university cares to challenge or force a change to the judge's order.

What would he study?  Breivik hasn't indicated that part of the deal.

Normally, the public doesn't ever challenge who should or shouldn't go onto university in Norway.  Some comments in the press indicate that people have a particular opinion in this case that such resources used for Breivik....would be a total waste.  In the end, I suspect they have to allow him access to the internet, and maybe that was the original intent of pushing for a university application.

Sunday 4 August 2013

Pamplona-American Style

When I was a kid.....growing up in Bama....I would sit and watch the evening news....usually with CBS.  One evening, they had an international piece on, with the Pamplona bull run.  I was probably eight years old and fairly fascinated with the episode.

Course, as the years went by....I also ran with the steers.  Once a year on the farm, you'd have vaccination day, and I'd have the task as the 'runner' to chase the steers down the chute area.  Ninety percent of the time....things went well.  Usually out of forty steers....you'd always have three that did something you didn't expect.....turn, and chase you down.  It was the Pamplona-effect.  The thrill of the unexpected.  Kinda like going to a NASCAR race, or some WWE-wrestling event.

Over the years, I've continued to watch the reports of Pamplona bull runs, and been kinda interested.  Even up until the late 1990s....I had this curious idea of going down to Spain and at least watching.  Participation?  Well....yeah, I probably had some interest in being stupid like the rest of them.  These days, I'd probably just like to have a rooftop position and watch from a distance.

This week....reports came out via the news that there's going to be some bull runs in the US, starting out in Richmond, VA.  Atlanta will have one a few weeks after that.  Several other runs will follow after that.  To note with interest.....none are schedule in Bama yet.

Legal?  Well.....presently, there's no laws against it.  I'm guessing dozens of animal-rights folks are working hard to stop each one of these.  The courts will be reviewing paperwork and trying to determine if there is some piece of the Constitution or state laws affected.

I imagine it will catch on....although some states will make anti-bull run laws.  In fact, I'd say that California and New York will quickly move on this and have such a law in effect by the end of November.

It'll continue on.....maybe even become a reality TV series.  I could see some washed-up TV stars coming out.....doing a bull-run with some sluggish bulls.  It might be worth watching if this were some former WWE-wrestlers doing the bullrun.

The Pamplona folks will claim this is all fake and that only real bull running occurs in Spain.....this American stuff is just fake wussy stuff.

It's hard to say where this goes....except a bunch of guys will be looking around the south for some really tough mean steers, and some cattle guys have got the perfect steer to sell them.

Saturday 3 August 2013

The New "Home" Folks

The statistics folks have been busy.  They say that there are 21 million Americans....of adult age....living with their parents.  The perception is that they finished high school....maybe finished college....and success has not be attained yet (meaning: they just don't have a job capable of paying for an apartment, or they really screwed up and got heavily into debt).

Yeah, these are the guys who spent two years at the community college studying acting, and owe $22,000 on tuition.  These are the ladies who spent four years at some private college studying French literature, and owe $72,000.  These are the guys who discovered the best job they could get after four years....was chief of a shift at some car rental place at the airport.  These are the young ladies who drifted around and wasted three years of college, then quit, and now work twenty hours a week at JC Pennys.

It's hard to say if this is such a bad thing or not.  At least the parents are giving them a roof over their heads.  They get two square meals a day.  There's always advice to be given by dad, or cooking instructions by mom.  There's likely a master mechanics garage set up by dad to help with minor car repairs.  And if the toilet is broke....you don't have to argue with landlord.

The news media perception?  It'll be curious.  They probably can only see it as a negative thing....telling of the various woes involved in this.  I'm guessing various experts will appear on CNN to tell of the mess that this creates in life.  Oprah might even dedicate an entire week with folks who fell into this 'pit'.

The funny thing is that this used to be the norm....say fifty to seventy years ago.  We seem to have forgotten that part of the story.

Wednesday 22 May 2013

Medical Literature

Some smart folks have gone out and done some research on all the fancy hand-outs that doctors, clinics, hospitals, school nurses, and the medical community continually hand out to people.  There's some general consensus, which got published in the JAMA Internal Medicine publication this month (thanks to Fox News for the note).

They've all come to realize what most of us have said for the last twenty years....the commentary in the hand-outs....is too complicated for the average American to grasp.

You have a number of medical experts, who have six to eight years of college, who sit and write these publications.  It's nothing personal with me.....but every time you see one of these and attempt to read it....you need to stumble over various phrases and words that you aren't prepared to read.

Last year, the dentist office wanted to hand me literature on gum disease.  I ran through the hand-out and probably got about half of the message.

What the medical establishment needs to do.....is simply hire people who write around the eighth-grade level, and use simple graphics to tell a story.  Thirty percent of the people who read these hand-outs....probably understand every single word, but the rest of us?  The range goes up and down.

The sad thing here is that there is a need for medical literature, and they could write it in a way to be understood.  So far, they just haven't grasped the problem.

Tuesday 21 May 2013

Sleeper Cells?

There was a brief moment of analysis off one of the morning shows of yesterday, where someone had the idea that this rogue IRS crew doing the damage to the Tea Party....was likely hired during the Bush II era, and likely a Republican trap on President Obama.

I sat there for a moment thinking about this 'sleeper-cell' situation, pondering the possibility.

Then I kinda noted that if you did believe in this, then there ought to be sleeper-cell's left over from the Clinton era, the Bush I era, the Reagan era, the Carter era, the Ford era, the Nixon era, the LBJ era, the Kennedy era, and the Eisenhower era.

Each of these rogue cells could be operating within the IRS, with orders given to them five....ten....even twenty-five years ago.  At any point, they could suddenly activate and create havoc on America....by order of their boss.

The odds of this.....one in fifty billion.

But if you were some dimwit appearing on MSNBC's morning show, and wanted to really take this mess to the ninth degree, then you could suggest such a thing.

This is probably the reason why I limit myself to eight minutes a day of MSNBC.  It's kinda like the X-Files channel, with some things that just go pretty extreme.

Sunday 19 May 2013

The Robber from New York City

Guys from Bama have a special appreciation of New York City.  We would quietly admit, in mixed company, that we'd really like to throw some Roll Tide jerseys into a bag with some underwear, put a case of beer into a cooler, and get a roadmap to drive all the way to New York City.  We don't want to stay too long, or really become familiar with the city.  We'd just like to visit for a couple of days....visit some guys like George on Seinfeld, and meet some cool chicks like they had on Friends.

So we pay attention to events in New York City.

This week....they had an atempted bank robbery.

The robber dude came in....fairly well dressed....a tie and suit, with dark Ray-band glasses.

He comes up to the teller and passes some note, that basically says he wants 100s, 50s, 20s, and he'll start shooting if you don't react.

Well....it's an interesting thing.

The robber didn't really know it, but this lady clerk he picked....she wasn't from New York City.  Journalists won't say what state she hails from....but she just ain't a local.

So things take a turn here. Being in the bank teller field.....you really don't expect life-ending situations to occur.  This gal, and we can only assume she is likely from some southern state, freaks out after reading the note.

She starts screaming and going into some kind of panic attack.  The robber?  Well....he didn't really expect that attitude.  He tried to raise his finger and let her know that it'd be better to just be quiet.  That didn't help much.

By this point, she running from her cage area to the other side of the room and hiding under a desk.

There's this pause for the robber.  You can sense some frustration here.  There's probably about twenty seconds of silence here.  He's likely thinking....damn, most New York City gals would just flip the money over and I'd be walking out with four thousands dollars right now.

At this point, he makes a fairly wise decision.  Retreat.

Cops have a mighty fine picture of the guy, released to the papers, and taking up a three inch by six inch space.  Sadly, he's walking on borrowed time right now, and trying hard to stay out of sight.

The gal?  I'm guessing that the bank guys are giving her a day off to chill and relax.  They probably appreciate the fact that they didn't lose any money.  Everyone is looking at this tactic now....and wondering if freaking out....ought to be norm.  The problem is....most all New York City folks are pretty stern and tough individuals.  You'd have to bring in some Bama folks and change cultural perceptions.  Just some advice from a Bama guy.

Saturday 18 May 2013

The Prayer Question

Among the various groups that IRS decided to mess with in this latest scandal....there was one that had a religious connection of sorts.

So in the questions developed and sent back to the organization.....was this information request...."Please detail the content of the members of your organization’s prayers."

You can imagine the manager and the accountant sitting there....it was a group in Iowa, and just pondering the necessity of listing content of prayers.

In Bama, we would sat there for a long while, and then listed our prayer...in typical Bama-fashion.

Dear God

We ask you to send your angels to the IRS and help bring them to their senses.

We ask you to lift their blindness and give the IRS people sight.

We ask you to take the child-like ways of the IRS, and bring them into the world of maturity.

We ask you to take the devil in each IRS technician, and cast that devil out.

We ask you to lay your hands upon their incompetence, and give them brilliance.

We ask you to give the IRS folks compassion, where they have none.

And Lord, we ask that you tinker with the IRS rules a bit because we really don't want to waste prayer upon the IRS.  We have really more important things to ask your help on, and this ought not be in the top ten issues.  Amen.

I'm sure an IRS guy would read this and start to wonder how he ever got into this line of work, and if maybe he should have gone onto Baptist ministry school like Grandma suggested, instead of hooking up with the IRS.

Let the Crap Flow

This is one of those odd stories that someone will tell me, and it needs to retold.

My associate at work is married to a gal, who has a sister that probably hasn't done that well-off in life.  The sister still lives up in Minnesota where she grew up.  My associate got convinced years ago, by his wife, to buy a property, and rent it to the sister.....for a very fair price.  It's safe to say that it's in the rurals of Minnesota, didn't cost that much, and requires only occasional maintenance.

Because of the way that he bought the house, the location, and the mortgage involved.....he needs flood insurance.  If there was a recent flood map of the area.....he'd get a more discounted deal.  Currently, he's paying more than what he'd desire.

Who draws up the flood maps?  Usually a city or town will request it, pay some kind of price for it, and it's available to everyone in town as they buy, sell, or trade property.  The town in this case?  Thirty-odd residences.  On their priority list?  No.  There is a mayor to the town, but for roughly three years....this just hasn't been a priority for the town at all.

So yesterday comes, and there's a phone call.  New mayor in town, and he's calling all the way to Maryland to my associate.

The town has a new 'mission'.  They want a real sewage system.  Yes, the thirty-odd residences....have prioritized things, and a one-million-dollar sewage system is on their mind.  Septic tanks?  A thing of the past, and not sufficient.

They had a town-hall meeting.  This idea just didn't sell too well.  There's around twenty-odd votes to this....apparently not enough to get it passed.  I'm assuming that there needs to be a super-majority (maybe two-thirds...maybe even seventy-five percent).  New mayor chats over this......he's new in town....and he really needs this project done.

I stopped my associate at that point, and asked why exactly would you need a one-million-dollar sewage system, for thirty-odd homes?  There just isn't any reason for it or any explanation yet that fits.  Course, if you were trying to attract some mini-manufacturing unit or small business to move into the area....it'd explain a good bit.  But that hasn't been laid out into this story.

My associate confessed to the new mayor.....if they'd give him the flood map....he'd vote for this.  Otherwise, no.

The price of the monthly bill if they go and do this?  Eighty bucks.    So it's around a thousand dollars a year....if they press forward.  The curious thing is that they've arranged for one grant, which took out around $400k on this, and they are fairly close to a second grant for almost $400k.  So the thirty-odd homes would only have to worry about a $200k chunk of money.  The grants?  I'm guessing that one came from the federal government, and I actually helped to pay.  Yeah, that irritates me a bit.....my tax money going to run a sewage plant in the rurals of Minnesota.

Who would run the plant?  Don't know.  I suggested to my associate that you'd have to hire some guy to come in....measure stuff....maintain the plant....ensure proper operation.  So there has to be more cost associated with this, but not being mentioned.

So as a true Bama resident, I asked the real question to fit this all together....doesn't the town have cops and rake in money off speeding tickets?  No.  No cops.  The town lies between two significant cities, with trucks moving on a hourly basis.  There's money to be made here....if you just hired one cop to sit and hand out traffic tickets.  Every town in Bama functions this way, and an average cop makes $100k profit for the town.

I asked, how does the town make money then?  Well....in Minnesota, the local booze establishment must be run by the town itself, and that was the chief money maker for the town.  Practically all the cash for the town, came off their one and only establishment....a booze shop.  But the booze shop had to shut down because it wasn't clearing a profit.

Why?  Well....they had six people on the payroll.  Way more folks than they needed and it was simply a job enterprise.  No real profits for the town.  The new management scheme of the booze shop probably will cure this issue, and create more cash flow for the town's city hall.

At the end of this.....I was thinking, this is the kind of place that a guy could walk into, and in one year....became the mayor.  Some guys walk around and dream of such a goal in life.  You don't have to be a four-star executive or even a college-degree guy....and be a mayor.

As for my associate?  This stupid episode will likely pass and the eighty bucks a month will be drawn from his account.  No, he admitted that he wouldn't pass this onto his sister-in-law....the nice guy that he is.  And no, he didn't really expect the flood map to ever come out of this mess.  Happily though....crap will flow past the house....onto some sewage plant....and end up somewhere else.  Maybe that's worth eighty bucks a month.  Maybe.

Sunday 24 March 2013

Norway and Witchcraft

The folks in Norway have decided that they'd like to help the folks in Malawi.  The issue to fix.  Sorcery and witchcraft.

You see....folks around Malawi still today believe in witches.  It's so bad....that some folks have proclaimed it one of the top problems of the nation.

So the folks in Norway are sending down $600k to run a three-year program.  Once I saw the number....I'm amazed. For an American program, that $600k would have been blown in six weeks.

What do you do in cases like this?  Probably posters, and public statements by political groups.  It's hard to imagine in 2013, that witchcraft is still taken seriously.

How will the witches take this matter?  I'm guessing that they will discuss the matter within their group, and perhaps end a witch or two up to Norway....testing the local population there.

The Norwegian folks will probably have a bit of fun with this....until something odd happens.  Then news will spread through the communities.  After a couple of weeks....there might be two or three percent of the Norwegian population which then believes in witchcraft.  Then the government of Norway might have to spend a couple million Euro fighting the notion of witchcraft in their own country.

Stranger things have happen, you know.

Saturday 23 March 2013

The End of Harvey

For Harvey Updyke, the Auburn poison oak tree episode has ended rather quickly.

In Bama, this is probably one of the most talked about episodes of the past five years....well...except for NCAA football stuff.

On Friday, the court finally rendered the verdict there in Wetumpka.  Declared guitly....Harvey has to serve a three-year prison sentence....but the judge determinded that he'd already done around a hundred days, and if he does six months minium....the justice folks could let Harvey out of the whole three years deal.  My humble guess is that he does roughly six to nine months and is let go.

Then there was this stipulation written into the judge's order....which is a curious piece.

Harvey can't go near any NCAA football game for the next five years.  He can't talk to any media folks or even cal into a radio-talk show.  Harvey has to be home every night by 7pm for the whole five years.  And Harvey can't go anywhere near Auburn, period.

All of this was handled rather quickly because Harvey dropped the idea of himself being crazy, and just admitted plain stupid guilt on this stuff.

The general feeling around Bama?  Auburn folks are still a bit upset over the guy.  Most of us consider him to be a nutcase, but like the other 250k Bama folks who are also nutcases.

I'd personally suggest this as a future movie.  I'd like to see Burt Reynolds play Harvey, with Hulk Hogan as an Auburn alumni guy on the hunt for Harvey.  Maybe bring in Terry Bradshaw to play the judge from Wetumpka.

So I suggest here....we Bama folks ought to drag out that forgiving nature of ourselves, and just give Harvey a bit of forgiveness on this stuff.  And if he were to move off to Mississippi.....we wouldn't say anything judgmental against that.

Friday 22 March 2013

College in the Old Days

I had a curiosity about what was really required of a college student in the 1800s.  So I went out to research this.  From the University of Pennsylvania  there is a publication left over from 1851.  There were two semesters each year.

Freshmen were required to take English composition and declamation (classic speech), ancient history and geography, algebra, geometry, Horace, Homer, Xenophon (Greek studies).

Sophomores were required to take modern history, English composition and declamation, trigonometry (with applications for surveying and navigation), elements of mechanics and chemistry, Livy (second Punic War), Horace, logic, rhetoric, and Demosthenes (a Greek orator).

Juniors were required to take general principals of equilibrium and motion of solids and liquids, Plato, chemistry with experimental lectures, machinery, evidence of Christianity, moral and intellectual philosophy, English composition and declamation, general theory of equations, Greek tragedy, Juvenal (a Roman poet), Constitutional history of the US, and international law (lectures).

Seniors were required to take lectures on geology and mineralogy, Aristotle, Cicero, optics, astronomy, heat-electricity, physical geography, magnetism-sound, moral and intellectual philosophy, English composition and declamation, analytical mechanics, elements of integral calculus, lectures on English literature, history, and Constitutional law (lectures).

Now, some observations.

First, you did a light class schedule even on Saturdays....which might shock some students today.

Second, as you gaze across the spectrum here, there was a good bit of Greek and Roman reading.  Logic and philosophy were a major part of your degree.

Third, speaking and orator skills were a standard requirement.

Fourth, what you generally left with....was a very developed mind to expand and take on more in life.

Fifth, you actually took a class in Christianity.

Sixth, you had a lot of basic skills in science.

Seventh, English was required each and every single year of the four years.

Eighth, declamation?  It's a speech activity that you give with strong feeling.  You say what you mean, and practice it....yearly.

Ninth, imagine trying to teach moral and intellectual philosophy today.

Finally, in an entire county of sixty young men graduating from school....if you had just one of them go off to this university...it was a big deal.  You didn't borrow money or ask the government for a loan.  You either paid or you worked your way through the program.

I don't think many kids today could make it with this list of topics.

The Leno Solution

Jay Leno is being let go, finally, by NBC.  What they will admit is that the numbers aren't there.  Young Americans aren't watching Jay.  And the older Americans, in pretty hefty numbers, are watching mostly Fox News.

Jay would kinda like to keep working but things aren't looking that way.

I would suggest that Fox go out and find two individuals to team up with Jay....in southern California of course, and run an 11PM one-hour show.  The studio would be laid out in a fashion that would make a grown man cry.

I would envision the studio having an entire area with car jacks and Jay might invite a guy onto the show and just spend thirty minutes talking cars, or motorcycles, or even go-carts.  Toss in someone who does interviews with the Hollywood elite, and finally a third Fox person who talks up the latest in gossip.

After a couple of months, the numbers would be significant, and Jay would be smiling most of the time because his magic was still working.

Thursday 21 March 2013

Simply Observations

It won't be on the news or mentioned much....but as the new Pope got picked....the Argentine President got all peppy and got an entourage up to go and visit her guy in the Vatican.  They stopped in Morocco  and from there....went by commercial airlines.  The reason?  There's a bunch of investor folks who have attempted on a couple of occasions when she's used the jet....to show legal papers to take it because of state involvement in hurting their investment fund.  So in effect.... Argentina has a presidential jet, but can't fly it anywhere where some oddball legal folks would attempt to use the local courts to grab it.  In essence, it's a jet for mostly show and almost no travel.

This nutcase killer out in Colorado....has shown a new side.  Strangely enough....he's studying and developing himself as a Muslim.  Some news reports indicate that he prays five times a day.  Was he converting back when he went off to shoot the twelve folks dead and wound fifty-eight others?  Well....you don't know.  It's just kinda odd, if you ask me.

Doctors in Detroit have found this older gal who did roughly a hundred bags of tea mixed up daily in one container, and drunk the stuff for at least seventeen years.  She's got all kinds of bone issues and they now believe that it's mostly all related to the tea.  My only question.....if you tossed a hundred bags of tea into a one-gallon container......how you could even sip that strong of tea without at least fifteen spoons of sugar or twelve lemons squeezed into it?  I'd have to do that as a minimum.  What the doctors aren't suggesting is that tea is bad....it's just everything else in life.....do it in moderation.  It's like fishing....you just don't want to go fishing 365 days a year....you'd probably die eventually....from fishing (that's Bama logic for you).

Some folks did some studying and have confirmed that there are still a couple of folks getting government checks for participation or just compensation programs....for US war vets....going all the way back to the Civil War (1865).  They have found two folks who still get payments today....being sons or daughters of such vets.  They found the same issues with the Spanish-American war vets, WW I vets, etc.  The intention of this data is to show that once you start a war....you end up paying for crap over the next fifty to a hundred years.  It's best not to start any wars, and just surrender things as quickly as possible when challenged.

Finally, experts in Bama have now admitted that poor roads around the state....are causing roughly $530-odd million dollars of damage to vehicle.  You can figure at $90 for a front-end alignment, that comes out to 5.8 million cars within the state each year.  Course, it's an oddball group.  Some are tires that wear out early.  Some are axles messed up after ten years of driving over dirt roads.  Some are just cracked windshields from stones tossed up.  Bottom line?  Mechanics in Bama are making a killing and quietly retiring to Florida by age fifty.  They really don't want road improvements....it'd just kill the industry off.  Besides, you wouldn't have a chance to ever meet such nifty and unusual Bama characters down at the Lube-and-Go Shop.

Wednesday 20 March 2013

My Neighborhood

Across the river, and on the other side of DC....into Maryland, is Silver Springs.  The local guys there, about a decade ago, got the city government talked into constructing this magnificent transit center.  This multi-floor contraption.....called the Paul S. Sarbanes Transit Center, was going to be the end-all solution to Silver Springs issues.

There was to be a huge open bay area for buses (34 spots), and be tied right into both the Metro and even the Maryland rail system.

You were going to be able to drive right in, and dump your passenger, and drive right out.  There's a great deal of engineering tied into the look and feel of the center.

The cost?  Roughly one-hundred and ten million....more or less.  Construction started in 2007.

I guess you are wondering about the end-date?

Well....that's really the issue.  Whoever drew up the plans....didn't really make it clear where you needed reinforced concrete, and re-bar.  The experts yesterday laid out the issues....it's just not strong enough to allow buses (in any number) to drive onto the terminal and drive down the next level.  They now admit.....you'd sit there and wait for a collapse....sooner or later.  Billions could be at stake in insurance claims if four or five buses fell through.

The fix?  The TV news guys simply laid out the issues and left it there last night.  It'll take months of study to reach some conclusion.  No one wanted to say anything, but I got this impression that they just might admit that the whole thing ought to be torn down and restarted.

As you look at the drawing on the right of what it'd look like at completion.... remind yourself that physically  it's almost ninety percent done and would have opened this year.

I'd hate to bet against it, but I'd be guessing a 2017 opening....with half the building torn down as a minimum 

Folks going to jail?  It never happens in Maryland.  The company that did the drawings will likely just walk away and declare itself renamed or bankrupt.  Folks in the construction zone will likely complain loud and long....they've spent almost several years waiting for things to be done.

My Neighborhood

This is a story that you'd hate to hear about or discuss.

Local kid....sixteen years old....decides to sneak out of the house one night....go booze up and party with his associates.  He's staying at his dad's house (divorced situation).  House is in the nicer neighborhoods here in Virginia.

The kid parties and drinks up a bit.  Then somewhere after midnight....he comes back to the back of the house....hops the fence, and misjudges his house for a house two houses down (they are all built the same way and look similar).

The kid opens a window.

He's drunk and clumsy.

The kid makes noise.

The real owner of this house.....up on the second floor....gets up and flips the lights on.

The kid thinks he's still in the right house, and just progressing up the stairs.

The kid won't stop.

The owner has a gun, and is yelling for the kid to stop.

The kid doesn't stop.

The kid is shot dead.

Cops come.  It's a very long look over the mess.  It takes hours to really come to some sorting of facts.  The dad is called.  A fairly traumatic event.  Cops finally lay out the whole episode.

There's doubt if any charges will occur.

The kid's family has come out and said they forgive the older guy who shot the kid.  They can understand how this all came down.

The mother?  She was in the local area today.  She lives in Indianapolis and kinda admits that neighborhoods there are a bit rougher, and she felt the son was safer with the ex-husband, than in Indianapolis.

You feel sorry for the kid.  But on the stupidity scale....he was pushing a ten.

The guy who shot the kid?  He's sitting there and asking himself how this all happened.  If he'd locked the windows correctly....if he'd just shot the kid in the leg....there's probably a dozen ways this could have gone another way.

Tuesday 19 March 2013

My Experience in Cyprus

Back in 2009, I spent roughly ten days in Cyprus....on a vacation.  It was one of those oddball trips that you'd take in your life.  Resort.  All-inclusive beverage deal (drink as much as you want, twenty-four hours a day). Beach.

With the recent financial mess going on, I follow the events more closely than most folks.

There's roughly ten things that I came away from the trip....on Cyprus:

1.  There's a heck of a lot of folks walking around the island who speak Russian.  From employees at hotels, to 'guests'.

2.  You don't flush any toilet paper down the pipes in Cyprus....there's always a little can by the toilet and you put the paper in there.  They just don't have adequate water supplies to flush anything of a paper nature.

3.  Electricity is fairly expensive.

4.  In 2009, there were a heck of a lot of construction projects going on, and new roads and streets being built everywhere....like they had tons of money.

5.  About every fourth person you ran into....was British.  Long-term resident of the isle, as I got the impression.

6.  There's an absolute hatred of Turks.  But beyond that initial hatred, no one can say much except how Turkey helped take over the north side of the island.

7.  After reading two weeks worth of local newspapers....I got the impression that politics is a full-time thing and they must have a Fox News-like network on Cyprus to help generate that much enthusiasm 

8.  It's actually a tiny island, with only around a million residents.  There's maybe 50k visitors there throughout the summer months.

9.  Just about every single dish they serve.....has some quantity of olive oil or vinegar added to it.

10.  Even if you go in September....you'd best dress as lightly as possible.  You still sweat twenty-four hours a day.

Monday 18 March 2013

That Satan Guy

The Bible series was again on last night, via the History Channel.  The curious episode was the moment when the devil came up.

So you gaze at the face for a minute, and you have this feeling....it's Obama.  It's actually an actor, but you just have that momentary feeling....Obama....Satan.

An accident?  Well, the producers just say it's a minor appearance thing and nothing else.

Me personally?  I'm probably locked onto that image for the rest of my life.  It's too bad that they couldn't get GW Bush for a week and have him play Noah.  I might have had better feelings for "Noah" Bush.  This satan guy?  Yeah, it kinda bothers me.

Note: Now, a true Baptist would cite various references in the Bible that Satan can take many forms, and if you think you are looking at President Obama (Satan), then it's a spiritual thing and you might have a point there.