Friday, 4 February 2011

The Ten Steps of Egypt

While Festus, Doctor Karl, Katie Couric, Christian Amanpour, and a host of think-tank guys are feeding you up on Egypt.....allow me to give you the ten step process of where things are going.

1.  "Homer" Murbarak leaves on a jet plane.....don't know when he'll be back again.  He could end up in the US but my bet is that the Saudis will take him in.

2.  New number one, who won't be there long (so don't memorize his name or focus on Katie pronouncing twelve times over and over)....smiles, shakes hands, and greets sixteen-odd foreign diplomats over a four-hour period on day one.  He's got a four-month agenda that has enough steam to last up until summer.

3.  Somewhere around day thirty....the friends of Islam realize that the peace treaty with Israel hasn't been dropped so they rush up to the military and the new number one to comment on how slow things are.  A speech is made, and the peace treaty appears in bits & pieces.  The President rushes Hillary over, and then Jimmy Carter.  Shocked....all of them....that the treaty is terminated.  We end up with a whole weekend lost on this topic rather than focus on a new Brittney Spears arrest or a possible NFL strike.

4.  Congress wakes up and realizes that the treaty broken....represents $1.5 billion in savings that we don't have to pay Egypt anymore.  So they cut it immediately.

5.  Egyptian military folks wake up a week later and realize the budget implications, and are furious at Jimmy Joe Muhammad and company over the $1.5 billion.  That paid for pieces and parts....so they need the new government to whip up $1.5 billion to buy hardware and fix things.

6.  A meeting occurs with the chief budget guy of the military, the chief budget guy of the Egyptian government, and the chief budget guy of the friends of Islam.  Two of these guys have a degree in finance and one guy has a degree in religion....take a guess who leads this conversation.

7.  The replacement chief of Egypt now has the military stomping by his feet.....hostile about a lack of budget.  So the money that he was going to toss toward the middle and lower class folks to make their food cost appear cheaper temporarily.....well....that idea disappears.

8.  By summer, the new chief is gone and replaced by some really friendly guy who the Islamic guys like a lot but the military can't stand.

9.  Some Israeli guys appear in DC by summer and ask for $1.5 million extra in military hardware because of the mess at their backdoor.  The senate....against the President's wishes.....authorizes a $1.5 billion extra pot.....so there is no savings on this mess at all.

10.  By December.....a bunch of Egyptian guys wake up and ask why they kicked out "Homer" Murbarak because food prices haven't gone down a penny.  All they see now on TV is a bunch of pretty conservative shows....no Knight Rider....no Jeopardy.....and everyone is wondering why tourists from western countries don't come to sip beer and booze in the deserts of Egypt.....and gaze upon some stupid pyramid that a bunch of idiots built three thousand years ago.

What Happens in Bama, Stays in Bama

Being from Bama....sometimes involves a great deal of pondering.

Yesterday....out of Goodwater, Bama....we had a shooting.  The facts as of today?  A case had been brought up in some local court, to be tried in a townhall courtroom......where the guy was accused of a domestic dispute.  He'd been injured in a car accident prior to this and broke a hip....so naturally, he was hobbling around on two crutches.  I would suspect that he had a few drugs to help kill the pain as well.

So the city judge came to a decision, which went against the guy.....and he was a might-bit upset.  At this point, he started waving his two crutches around.

Facts are cloudy after this point.  Some say he tried to reach for a gun.  Some said that he was just waving the crutches around.  But the one cop on the scene felt the situation was out of hand and tried to push the guy down.....then perceived him reaching for his weapon....and shot him once.  Then as the guy went down.....shot a second time.

Both shots went into his gut but he appears to be in survivable condition.  Folks around Goodwater are a bit upset, saying that the guy should have been tased instead of shot.  Some are just upset about the second shot, saying the first one was justified and the second one wasn't.

State cops got called out and will have to sort this out.  I'm guessing they'd rather this not turn into a big episode, but they probably will have to interview at least twenty folks and collect statements.  My guess is that the guy will get another charge or two dumped on him but the court will feel sorry and just let him off the hook at the end.

The bottom line?  Well....this all started with a domestic situation and if he hadn't argued with his wife....he'd never been dragged into city court, never been charged with anything, had his car accident, had the broke hip, waved any crutches around a court to threaten folks, or been shot by some city cop.  The Bama morale of the story....always agree with your wife.