Monday 10 December 2012

That Brew Problem

Some smart finance folks went out and analyzed the beer market....discovering that there are roughly nine brands of beer in serious trouble from declining sales.

At the very bottom?  Michelob.  Even Old Milwaukee fell into the bottom five (in serious trouble).

The issue is that folks got around in the last decade...to drinking small brewery products, and finding a better taste.  They lost interest in lousy beer.

What's Michelob to do?  It's hard to say.  You can't just hustle up and change your product overnight.  And if you did change it....who is to say that you might upset the several hundred thousand folks who still consume it on occasion?  You might lose more than gain on the deal.

The other curious thing that could be affecting sales is that import beers are catching on.  A guy will sit at some pub, and accidentally try some Dutch beer, and suddenly find himself enjoying a better taste.  Course, he's paying fifty percent more for the beer than he'd usually spend.

If I were going to take an educated guess on business operations here...I'd say that Michelob is likely to be bought out by someone in the next three years....at a low-end price.  They will shut down operations for a month, and do up a new formula for the brew, and try to stage a come-back.  A Chinese company?  Yeah, I'd start betting on someone with cash and taking a risk like that.

Sunday 9 December 2012

Just Questions to Contemplate

How many Americans know someone who makes more than $250k a year?  And I'm talking about watching Huckabee on Fox, some Mets baseball player on TV, or going down to New Orleans to watch a live WWE wrestling match.  How many Americans actually know some guy who makes over $250k a year?

So in the midst of the biggest event since 9-11, with the country on the fiscal cliff....why does the President go to Hawaii for a vacation?  This would be like a couple about to engage in a bankruptcy proceeding but going off the week prior to gamble in Las Vegas.

If you had a hurricane coming down the way toward your home....are you actually counting on FEMA to come and help you?  Really....just raise your hand if you think that FEMA is going to save you in some fashion.

With all the talk on Syria....can you even identify the country on a map?

If you work around heavy machinery in Colorado....with the new marijuana laws going into effect....are you just a bit worried about your co-workers coming into work doped up?

If you had a kid in the Washington state school system, and the new open sales of marijuana going into effect....would you be kinda worried about teachers coming into school stoned?

In twenty years....will Fox's GLEE be remembered by anyone?

Why would twenty-odd CIA guys all be sitting in a compound in Benghazi....on 9-11?

Do you really care what a bunch of West Virginia teenagers do on camera....for a new MTV series?  Would it be any different than a bunch of punk kids from Texas?

When was the last time that you actually bought a music CD?

If the airport TSA dimwits that you all upset as you enter the airport.....were all women....would it change your perception of TSA?

If this teen singer....the Justine Bieber kid....actually sat down next to you at Dairy Queen....would you even recognize him?

Could you actually tell the difference between the $1 a cup of coffee at McDonalds and the $3.25 cup of coffee at Starbucks?

If you had the choice of being dropped off in a rattlesnake infested canyon in Arizona or the middle of Detroit....which would you pick?

If you ran a college and figured out that twenty-five percent of all kids who enter as freshmen will never get beyond the first year.....why wouldn't you try harder to stop them at the front door?  If you knew that forty percent of the freshmen will never graduate from your college or any college....would it start to bother you about accepting them?

To be honest, when in the last five years have you had a Twinkie?  Or a Ho-Ho?

If your state police announced that they'd just spent $2.5 million on a overhead drone....would you question the wisdom of such a purchase, and would you ask about the maintenance contract attached to this (likely $1.5 a year)?

Would it bother you if you learned that twenty percent of all Republicans....were really Democrats, and that the same number of Democrats....were really Republicans?

Have you kinda noticed your neighbors buying in bulk and putting two or three extra refrigerators or freezers into their garage?  Have you ever asked them about the continual review of expiration dates?  Yeah, they probably do throw at least a quarter of the bulk purchase food away eventually.

How many folks could actually sit through an entire opera....without falling asleep?

If your new car had an engine seizure, and the Ford mechanic eventually came to you and said it was the 15-percent ethanol mix you used....thus invalidating the warranty action....who would you be most upset with?

When auto blackboxes get finally implemented and mandated in the fall of 2014....how many people will quickly ask how to disconnect it?  Thirty percent?  Fifty percent?  How many computer geeks will be hired to reprogram or disconnect these?  Fifty thousand?

If there is no real difference between Microsoft Office 1997 and Office 2010....why would you buy the 2010 version?

If you could buy a $49 round-trip ticket from Nashville to Chicago....for standing only during the flight and leaning against some fixture for sixty minutes....would you buy the ticket?

Saturday 8 December 2012

Just Tired of Fairness

I sat and watch some political dimwits chat for ten minutes this morning....and the term "fairness" got thrown around six to eight times.  So I finally got tired of hearing it.

“Fairness” doesn’t get a guy to pull a 10PM to 7AM shift at a local factory for $12 an hour.

“Fairness” doesn’t ensure a decent meal at the Catfish Cabin for $9.99.

“Fairness” doesn’t mean that you are guaranteed Ford-certified transmission mechanic when you demand an overnight repair.

“Fairness” doesn’t drive a truckload of tomatoes from Texas to Michigan in the middle of a December snowstorm.

“Fairness” doesn’t clean the restaurant kitchen enough to pass the city health inspector inspection. 

“Fairness” doesn’t get you a $20k loan from the local bank when your business heating system failed in the midst of February.

“Fairness” doesn’t guarantee your kid is getting a top-notch math teacher in the sixth grade.

“Fairness” isn’t going to help you when the city has determined a year-long construction project will go by the front of your store and halt half of the profits you enjoyed for a decade.

“Fairness” isn’t helping when a city council member won’t approve your booze license unless there’s some donation to their campaign fund.

“Fairness” doesn’t help when the cops won’t come out to your area of town after dark because there’s too much crime there.

“Fairness” doesn’t sweep up a mess made by a bunch of drunks around the back of your building the night before.

I would even add this....”Fairness” didn’t exist on the 6th of June 1944 on the beaches of Normandy. For anyone who is really obsessed with “Fairness”, maybe it’s time you asked what exactly is meant by the term.

Sunday 16 September 2012

Just Some Advice

Sometimes, I hand out advice.

If you intend to go off to college, and want to borrow around $75k to achieve your degree....you better plan on working two jobs upon graduation for the first ten years, and forget about putting any money into a 401k until you turn 45 years old.

If you live down along the Gulf coast....within two miles of the beach....you need to ask yourself if losing your home after a hurricane is worth living that close to the coast.

If you like to drink excessively once or twice a year and drive home....could you afford to pay out $15k in legal costs and court fines if the cops pull over?  If you can't afford the $15k.....don't drink and drive.

If you live in a neighborhood where ten percent of the houses are empty because folks went bankrupt....you might want to ask if folks have a spending/saving problem.

If your doctor is hinting pretty strongly that he will limit Medicare patients he handles within the next year and you are around fifty-five.....you might ought to ask some serious questions about the stability of Medicare and how your health will be taken care of when you get up to sixty-five.

If folks around live and breathe NCAA football from early September to late November....you might want to be careful about which you attach yourself to.

If gas gets up to five bucks a gallon....what's the odds of GM, Chrysler or Ford selling big-engine vehicles?  The value of your 18-mpg Ford pick-up in such a dramatic moment?  Just something you might want to think about.

Finally....if some idiot shows up in front of you at the mall or some gas station and asks if your life is better or worse than it was four years ago.....you might want to sit and ask yourself if it's even better or worse than twenty years ago or even forty years ago.  The answer might shock most folks upon reflection.  Some folks were happier in 1987, than they are today, and that might confuse the political poll dimwits greatly.

A Good Husband

This is what we know.

Staff Sargent Judy (last name we will leave out) signed up with the Air Force and is stationed down in Shreveport, Louisiana.  Staff Sargent Judy does logistics work....mostly supply, accounting, etc.  Staff Sargent Judy got orders to go off to some location in the Middle East (unknown where) for a unknown amount of time (I'd be guessing six months, but it might have been twelve months).

Staff Sargent Judy didn't really want to go.....in a bad way.  So she talks to her husband....Staff Sargent Chris. We aren't sure who came up with the idea....but Chris eventually got his smaller caliber gun, and shot Judy in some non-vital area of her body.  Judy gets to the phone....says an intruder shot her.  Cops come.  Cops add up everything.  Cops just come to disbelieve the intruder thing.  Eventually Staff Sargent Judy admits that the husband did a favor and shot her.

Naturally, Bossier City Police aren't amused....so they arrest Staff Sargent Chris.  There's a weapons charge that they can hang on Chris, and I'm guessing a local judge would be nice enough to convict him but give him a suspended sentence.  Judy?  Well....she gave a false report, and faces charges for that.  I'm guessing the local Bossier City judge will convict her and give a suspended sentence for that.  But then, there's the Air Force folks at the back of the line.

Generally, the Air Force doesn't take this kind of foolishness as mature activity.  So I'm guessing a board will convene and discuss both Staff Sargent Judy and Chris.  Judy will likely be given a mental exam and pronounced not-fit for duty....and likely tossed out by early January 2013 (my humble guess).  It might take a month of mental tests to reach that result, but it's a pretty guaranteed result.  Chris?  Shooting your wife doesn't earn any medals, and will earn him a board to meet as well.  They might be split on letting Chris stay, but I'd be leaning to put enough paperwork into his folder and just not allow him to re-enlist as his contract runs out (it might be two or three years).

The thing is....Chris was an awful nice husband....helping his wife out and cooperating with her wishes.  It takes a lot for a guy to pull out a pistol and shoot just precisely at the right location.....and be fairly sure about the results.  Most guys would have screwed up and missed, or perhaps hit a vital organ.

I'm guessing folks around Bossier City and Shreveport are discussing the matter.  Folks don't get too excited there unless there's a flood or such.  And the Air Force?  Well....they likely will be wondering if they need to go around the entire Air Force and warn folks not shoot each other to get out of deployments.  The safer method....time-tested....would have been for Chris to get Judy pregnant, and that would have kept her off the deployment....but obviously, they just weren't interested in that method.

Wednesday 29 August 2012

Iran and World of Warcraft

Somewhere in the midst of arguing with Iran.....the US sent out a message to the World of Warcraft folks.  Basically, it's an American game of sorts, and they told the CEO that they had to deny Iranians the right to play World of Warcraft.

You can imagine the State Department sitting around, and talking up all the punishments possible to dump on Iran.....and World of Warcraft comes up.

So we are denying the Iranians a chance to ride their magical ponies, or to buy digital swords, or to fight digital warriors from Austin, Texas, or to sit by digital pools of water with friends from upstate Michigan, or to shoot unicorns.

It's come down to this.....and our best way of handling Iran.....is to deny them World of Warcraft?  Something is wrong.....if you ask me.

Thursday 23 August 2012

Speeches and Such

So this is what we know. Some kid in Oklahoma did well in high school and earned the right as school valedictorian. She makes up a speech….which has this theme of a bunch of folks asking what she wants to do after school, and the answer is “how the hell do I know, I’ve changed my mind so many times”. Well….the school principal was upset with the word ‘hell’, so he told her to change it….to heck. He gave her the new speech, with ‘heck’ included…..and she gave the ‘hell’ speech instead. The principal got all upset about this and denied her the diploma at the conclusion of the event. Words spoken so far by the school indicate that she can come by and apologize to the school, and get her diploma. 

The 18-year old girl has responded…..nicely….that she just won’t do that.

I would said to the school….’the hell you say’, but it would have taken the event to an unnecessary level. Her dad is kinda proud of her and doesn’t see much to get excited about. She will go off in the fall to Southwestern Oklahoma State University…..to study up to be a marine biologist, without the diploma.

There are various ways to ponder upon this. Valedictorian speeches are usually worthless. I know that bend some folks out of shape, but it’s usually four minutes that don’t mean an awful lot. The use of ‘hell’? Well….in 1977….you just didn’t utter the word unless you were in church and in some discussion over where Uncle Micky was going upon his demise. It has some effect upon a speech if you use it, but a guy who utters it forty times a day…..loses most of the positive effect. The potential for a descriptive location? Well….after you’ve been to Birmingham a dozen times…..there’s not much else you can say.

My guess is that the next valedictorian at this school probably will just talk about unicorns, wheat, and cows….playing it mostly safe with words. I would imagine there is a list of seven hundred topics which are forbidden and the list is safely kept from public view or discussion. The sad thing here is that this kid could have graduated on Monday….gone off to Marine boot-camp on Tuesday….and heard the word ‘hell’ at least three hundred times by Friday night.

My final observation is that if you ever intend to travel through Oklahoma…..put a sticker up on the dash to remind yourself to keep your words and thoughts pure and clean. Those folks are the type that actually might pray for you if they know you were out-of-state. Maybe that’s a good thing.

Wednesday 22 August 2012

Our Sea of Galilee Guy

This is a story that you have to put some prospective into it before it becomes clear.  Some weeks ago...this Republican Representative from Kansas....Kevin Yoder....went off on a trip with other Republicans to the Promised Land.  Note, that's to mean Israel.  Somewhere in the midst of this trip....the "boys" end up around the Sea of Galilee, and likely had some beverages.  One thing led to another.  A bunch of guys jumped into the Sea of Galilee.  Kevin jumped in, without any clothing....in basic form of skinny dipping.

Word got out.  Some media folks noted the trip and this terrible skinny dippyness into the Sea of Galilee.  The House asked for an investigation....to get to some facts.  Everything is kinda confirmed....to include the fact that not one single federal dollar financed the trip.  It was all privately financed (note, there is a great shock to Rep Pelosi because it just isn't right that Representatives conduct private trips without any tax-payer efforts.  Congressman Yoder came back after all this mess and said he was sorry.

So I reviewed this mess, and pondered.

Around two thousand years ago....some guys named Mathew, Mark, and Luke had some rather hot days out on the coast of the Sea of Galilee, and likely jumped off in the water in the form of skinny dipping.  I'm pretty sure no one said much.  Days were hot and a guy needed some relief.  Heck, that Jesus kid in his youth....probably jumped off in the Sea of Galilee as well.

Should we be worried about this behavior?  Well....skinny dipping is conducted in all fifty states.  I might agree that no one skinny dips in the Disrict of Columbia....not unless you do the Potomac thing at 5AM on a Sunday when nobody is much around.  But in the other states, there's probably 300k Americans who skinny dip at least once a year.

Maybe there should be laws against it, but traditionally....no one cares.

So this Yoder kid isn't a corrupted individual in my book.  In fact, most folks from Kansas will think about this a while and come to agree that they all know forty or fifty folks who have skinny dipped in their life. The only difference here is that they all did it in Kansas.  Kevin Yoder did it in the Sea of Galilee. That's a status symbol to a degree, but it just ain't worth getting worried about.   In fact, if I was worried about something....it'd be jobs in America, and I'd just let this skinny dipping business just pass.

Friday 29 June 2012

The Pig's Data

I tend to always use Piggly Wiggly as a punching bag for the heartland.  The truth is.....they are the guts of middle-America.  When Grandma cranks up the Chevy....it's typically to run over to Piggly Wiggly.  When Thanksgiving comes around.....most everyone in your community buys the Turkey at Piggly Wiggly.  When your birthday comes up.....the cake and everything else....comes from Piggly Wiggly.

As much as I'd hate to admit it....but our economics revolve around companies....such as Piggly Wiggly.   With sixteen states, and six hundred stores.....it is an economic factor that you just don't think about.

So I did some research, and here is the average salary structure:

A cashier makes on average....$18k a year, with a general maximum of $30k (you had to work your entire life and be head cashier, to be at that level).

The assistant manager makes on average.....$28k a year, with a general maximum of $42k (again, you'd have to work your entire life there, to be at that level).

The deli kid?  Well....he's typically pulling in $14k a year, and if the kid has been there his entire life.....maybe up around $24k.

The bagger?  The guy starting out is pulling in $11k and tips.  By the end of his vast career.....he might actually be hitting near $26k (figure another $7k a year in tips, if he's a decent bagger).

Finally, the manager.  Starting out at $25k a year.....it's the long-run that you dream about.  You could be hitting near $43k at your peak.

Data?  It comes from Career Bliss and their research.

Health care insurance?  Well....they do offer it.  It's generally in the range of what you'd expect with most companies like this.  Dirt-cheap?  No.  So a young guy might look at this and just decline buying because he'd like to put that $190 a month toward a car or some educational loan, or a huge bill sitting there.

Wednesday 23 May 2012

A Bain Capital Commercial

It's just something silly to think about.  What if?

In this imaginary world....around 2008....some Bain Capital guys walked into Solyndra and bought them out completely...ahead of their campaign kiss-up to the Obama team, thus avoiding a handshake deal and $535 million (half a billion for simplicity's sake).

On day one, Bain buys the company for a pretty good price....fifty percent less than what their CEO says is their worth.

On day two, Bain Capital fires the CEO, and half of the top layer of the management staff.  Nothing personal, but their vision is 180 degrees from reality.

On day five, Bain agrees that the technology is workable, but not in California.  They agree to move the entire plant to Tennessee.  You as an employee, are given this simple offer....come with the plant and get a moving package.  You chose no.....you get a termination notice and two months notice.  You chose yes, and start preparing yourself for Tennessee.

On day sixteen, there's these real estate guys looking over the property in California and willing to pay a fair price.  Bain agrees to sell immediately.

On day twenty, Bain gets some Tennessee state officials to agree to a massive tax relief package, with almost no property tax.  The property that they will be using?  It's all donated by the state....free of charge.  The state even agrees to pave a road and build a parking lot around the new plant....free.

On day thirty, Bain has some Tennessee senator lined up and prepared to give them tax credits in the 2009 budget year.....so they are building and selling solar panels out of Tennessee, with zero federal taxes coming into play.  It's a simple three-line piece that no one even notices in the federal law book.

On day four-hundred, Bain is operating Solyndra at a fair profit.

On day five-hundred, Bain Capital sells their Solyndra operation for $700 million in profit over what they bought the company for.  

The sad thing to this story....Solyndra never gets a chance to squander a half-a-billion from the US government or the tax-payer.

It'd make a great TV commercial.  

This Odd Gal

This is we know.....a US Airways flight from Paris to Charlotte, NC....ended up landing in Maine today.  Some gal onboard......made a comment to a stewardess that she had a device surgically implanted inside her.   Naturally, this kinda perked the stewardess up and got everyone into a excited episode.

Cops came out to the plane in Bangor, and removed the gal.  The plane left....nothing of interest found on the gal.

So I started to dig into this story.  She's a French citizen, but officially....she's from Cameroon.  It's an odd thing....she gets a ten-day ticket to visit the US.  Being a French citizen.....you don't need much of a visa to visit the US.  If you'd been a Cameroon citizen....you'd have to lay out some details and have a different type of visa.

Then there's this odd thing.....no baggage.  She apparently just showed up at some airport and displayed a ticket.  I assume she has some carry-on stuff with her.....but no checked bags.  Who travels from France to North Carolina with no baggage, for ten days?  Well...it's hard to think of someone who would do that.

What's the whole story?  A humble guess.  I'm thinking that some rich wealthy guy from Cameroon....has a US visa and lives all-year-round in North Carolina.  He's married.  His wife came up and will be gone for two weeks.  He has this former girlfriend.....and invites her to fly out immediately to entertain him for the period.  She's a bit naive...packs nothing, and expects to have a suitcase of North Carolina clothing by the end of the ten days. Oh, and she has implants of a certain nature....just not the type that TSA worries about.

The guy who bought the ticket?  He's hoping that some idiot newspaper dopes in North Carolina don't start putting this together and ask his wife for details.  Just a humble opinion.

Monday 21 May 2012

Marion Barry

If you live in DC....you pretty much know the history of former mayor Marion Barry, who today, is a city council guy.  He's also in his late 70's, and he's fairly unhealthy in various ways.  This past weekend...he was supposed to fly all the way to Vegas for some event.  He arrives, and immedately has leg pains.  The best that the doctors can say.....is that Marion is suffering from blood clot in his leg.   Part of this comes from the air travel, and part from his unhealthy status.

So Marion in recovery status for the next couple of days, and then the hospital will release him in Vegas.  The question is....how would Marion return to DC?

What I see here....is the epic of all movies...."Traveling with Marion".

Some guy simply holds up his hand and says he'll drive Marion Barry from Vegas to DC.  It's a four-day drive.  There has to be some great stories that Marion is going to cut loose on and probably give you enough material for three books.  It is the opportunity of a lifetime.

I admit.....he probably will sleep an hour here or there....but he's going to tell you some things that you just don't hear from political figures today.

If I could be the right guy, at the right place, with a Crown Victoria...this might be interesting.

Saturday 19 May 2012

Greece, The First Month

Most folks who write up on Greece and it's Euro troubles....just talk about the demonstrations, and the bank instability.  So I'd rather be creative and lay out how things would be in the first month after they dump the Euro.

So it begins.

The military discovers on day one of the episode, that they really don't have a lot of fuel on hand....maybe enough to run two weeks at best.  When they ask for fuel allotment money from the government, they are told to ground all helicopters and aircraft.  Tanks and trucks?  Put them in the depot.  The coast guard?  Just enough fuel to run minimum operations.

The police chiefs around the county discover that their stash of fuel will last around seven days.  They ask the government to allocate a vast amount of emergency fuel, but the government admits that they just don't have enough money to do more than run a 50-percent operation for the foreseeable future.

Ambulance crews?  They are the only government service that gets a full allocation of fuel.

Airports suddenly run into an odd problem.  A tourist plane will land and expect to pay in Euro....then are told that they need to pay in newly created Drachma.  The pilot calls his headquarters in France, to discover his credit card isn't approved for such a currency yet.  The headquarters also questions the exchange rate.  Meanwhile the passengers disembark, to discover that the tourist bus to carry them off to the hotel....which was supposed to be "free"....isn't free.  The driver wants Euro....not Drachma....and he wants the equalivent of thirty bucks for each person....for a lousy forty minute drive to the hotel.

When the tourist arrives at his hotel....he finds that the contract that he signed six months ago is still valid, but the hotel has added a fee onto the tab (for all drinks and food), so that $10 meal you had.....is now $12 instead.

The cleaning lady at the hotel?  Well.....she wants only Drachma...not Euro....and she won't give you clean towels until you tip her in advance.

That fancy all-day tour-bus ride that you had advance booking on?  Well....it's still in effect but the driver encourages you strongly to tip him as you enter the bus for Euro, not Drachma.  That's the only way that he will turn on the AC unit and keep you chilled all day.

The tourist trap gift shop outside the hotel....that sold you a junk item for $10 in Euro before?  Well....it's now $8 in Drachma, but five days later....you notice it's $10....and by the end of the two weeks....it's $14 in Drachma.

The bartender at the hotel establishment?  He'll take Drachma, Rupees, Euro, Dollars, and even Russian Rubles.

The local lady shopping for groceries?  Well....on day five of the event....she finds the grocery mostly empty and the guy in charge admits that he's having to pay in advance for each item he buys to sell.  So his cash flow is slow now, and he hopes in five days to fill half the store.  Beans, by his estimation....is a guaranteed thing.  Don't be getting hope hopes for American mustard....this year, or next year.

The local bank?  They only open between 10 and 2.  There's a limit of how many Euro that they will accept each day and convert to Drachma.  You ask your Grandma to accept a bundle of Euro, and show up each day to exchange the money for you....because you just don't have time to waste with sixty people in line.

TV and radio?  Well....several of the folks have disappeared from the nightly newscast and generally, there's just on-the-air chit-chat....no remote video or conversations with people on the street.  No one wants to see video of empty store shelves or people drinking booze on the street.

Your doctor will see you, but he prefers Euro....not Drachma.  He's supposed to accept the state-run policy and you only pay a minimum fee.  He just laughs when you suggest a minimum fee situation.  He refers you to the nurse and refuses to do anything for you.

The gas for your car?  Well....it goes up by twenty percent over night, and some gas stations demand Drachma only, while others prefer Euro secretly (under the table).

Some fancy pants Greek political figures would like to go out and do speeches but find that people are confrontational.  So it's best to just hide out, drink what booze you hid away for a rainy day, and plot for another election, upon another election, upon another election.  Heck, you might gear the nation for six elections per year.

At the end of the first month....there's a bunch of angry people....and no solution in sight.  If you are twenty-two and educated.....you might as well pack a bag and agree to work in Italy or Amsterdam for minimum wage.  It puts food on the table.  These younger folks?  They probably won't ever return.  They are bound to absorb themselves into life elsewhere and give up eternally on Greece.

Somewhere in the months to come....you suddenly have a rise in Greek women advertising for American gentlemen for marriage.  American guys suddenly start to evaluate Thai, Russian, and Greek women on marriage possibilities.  Suddenly, some single guy from Ripley, Mississippi is reading up on the Greek Orthodox Church and a Greek diet of rabbit, peasant, chickens and fish, with some kind of goat yogurt that tastes kinda like buttermilk.

Life in Greece, as we know it....is about to change.

Friday 11 May 2012

When Robbery Doesn't Mean Much

I get my old hometown newspaper, and it's amongst the fifteen odd papers that I tend to read to stay abreast of the world.

So this week....comes the issue noting a robbery attempt (actually two) back on 27 April.  A gal walks up to the Subway shop along the main drag leading to the town around 7:30 PM.  She enters....wearing a hoodie and sunglasses.  She indicates to the guy running the shop that she's there to rob the shop, and she's got a gun (although it's never shown).

Now, here in Arlington....the Subway guy would have tossed open the cash register and thrown the $188 to her in a heartbeat.  No argument.  No hassle.  Just give the lady robber the money.

But this is Bama.

There's apparently a ten-second pause here.....although the newspaper journalist doesn't really indicate that. It's a fairly long pause.

On second one.....the Subway guy is thinking....man, this is like one of those TV show robberies you see on Barnaby Jones or CHIPs.  This vision of a 1973 TV show flashes in his mind.

On second two.....he's now thinking about the possible TV interview with the Channel thirty-one blonde gal and how he'll explain the whole situation in simple direct quotes.

On second three....he's now thinking about that Jeopardy episode from last night where he answered all of the New Testament questions in rapid fire.....impressing Grandma and Aunt Jean.  Grandma suggested he ought to go off to divinity school....maybe launch a TV minister's career.

On second four....he was thinking if he'd paid back his neighbor for the can of turpentine that he needed for the paint brushes.

On second five....that episode at the Memphis hotel flashed for a second....over that strange lady from Burlington, Vermont and how he lost his billfold that night.

On second six....he was contemplating the wasted time he'd spent watching the whole Lost series, which really crapped out by the final eight episodes.

On second seven....he was thinking maybe learning golf really wasn't a bad idea.

On second eight....he was wondering if Subway would ever give him a regional division chief job.

On second nine....he was wondering if Diet Mountain Dew was really that bad.

And by second ten.....he kinda figured if you were going to rob someone....you'd flash the gun.  And she didn't really flash no gun.

So the unnamed Subway guy.....just said "no".  He wouldn't hand any money over to the dopey young gal.  He had violated every rule in existence in DC, Maryland and Virginia.  The gal turned around and left.

A while later....she showed up at the Minnow Bucket....telling this guy that she had a knife and wanted cash from his cash register.  In the same fashion....the clerk at the Minnow Bucket paused....did his ten-second thing.....and refused.  She ended up walking out again.

Cops indicate that she let in a black Oldsmobile Alero and very distinctive because it had a sunroof....which the vast number of Aleros just never were ordered with that option (I can only assume on this).

The thing about guys from Bama....is that unqiue pause.  In ten seconds....we are calculating a fantastic number of things....thinking about episodes of Steinfeld.....comparing 1988 F-150 against a 1998 F-150....and thinking about fresh pancakes with extra syrup.  By the tenth second......we usually come around to this stupid question....if you had a gun...you'd show it.  So if you aren't that serious about this....then it's not a big deal.

Wednesday 28 March 2012

My Vote

I was sitting there on Sunday morning....reading through the local news, and suddenly came to realize that there was going to be this localized Arlington election for the city council.  One of the members had taken some position and vacated their city council position.  The election was going to be held on Tuesday (yesterday).  To be honest....it's mostly by my habit of reading the Washington Post on occasion, that I came to notice this election....otherwise, I wouldn't even have known about it.

So we had three candidates....a Republican, a Democrat, and a Green Party individual.  The only key factor I could see was that the Green Party individual was standing up against several infrastructure projects which had been rushed up and passed by the council.  So I made this decision to vote for the Green individual.  Yeah, it's a bit odd....but then it's just a city council slot.

So I walked yesterday morning....about a mile over to the recreation center in the neighborhood, and voted.  It was an odd episode because they had three desks set up to handle voters, but as far as I could see....no one was voting.  By last night, the total number of votes cast for Arlington was around 16k votes.....which would have been around 12-percent of the registered voters of the county.  It was for all practical purposes.....one of the lowest turn-outs in the county's history.  The Green individual?  Well....they lost in a big sort of way, but still pulled out a 1k votes.  The Democratic candidate won, with just 900 votes to spare.

I'm guessing that of the 14k voters....probably over ten percent were like me....just accidentally finding out about the election at the last minute....which really says alot about democracy, and the fact that you can flip a coin on candidates and just pick someone without much thought about the situation.

Sunday 8 January 2012

Back in Bama

Back in my home state of Bama, there is a discussion going on in the capital for 2012....over school books.  There's this idea of moving over to each kid in Bama having an electronic tablet of sorts, and all school text books being issued digitally to each kid.  The state is estimating this shift to cost in the range of $800 million....which is a heck of a lot of money.

The experts say that the current pricing of text books is about $90 each....which makes it pretty difficult to buy new books on a regular schedule.

The problems with a e-book situation?  Well.....you can figure that it'd cost $200 for each kid to get his e-book and at least ten percent would damage their e-book each and every year.  Most parents would have issues over this replacement situation and some probably would not be able to readily pay for such a replacement.

In the 1970s when I attended school....we still had some books dating back to the late-1950s (our English Literature book for example).  I can remember one science-related class where the teacher had to correct the material written into the text book because over a period of eight years....the text book had outdated information in it.

This e-book episode sounds kind of interesting but I just can't see kids being able to make this work.  There's always the batter-charge episode.....where the kid might show up for a class and his e-book is 'dead'.....so he just smiles at the teacher because he can't recite some Shakespeare line from his e-book.  Or you might have some young gal who figures out how to add more books to the e-book, and is sitting in a math class and reading some French novel.

My guess is that the political folks will talk on the subject and eventually just give up.  Real books will stay on for a while in Bama (maybe for forty more years).  Heck, my old 1958 English Literature book might still be in use for all I know.