Friday 12 June 2020

Chaz-Chatter

Over the last few days in Seattle....chaos has ignited and a new country has opened in the downtown part of Seattle....Chaz (that's what the protest crowd calls it).

From what I can figure of this new 'country' (Chaz).....it takes up part of a city park (figure 400 by 400 ft), an area of E-street (maybe 700 ft), and two square blocks (combined to be around 300 by 600 ft). 

People who reside there?  Chazians or Chazzers?

No one says much about taxes so far.  It is obvious that the residents of Chaz are a bit malnourished and pleading for food (looting for food as well). 

Homeless people recognizing the nation of Chaz?  So far....no indicator that any of them are moving in.  You get the impression that living in Seattle was a little bit better than living in Chaz.

Bus route through Chaz?  Well....before all of this....there was a bus stop at Bobby Morris Playfield and 11th street.  I'm guessing buses got redirected and don't pass through Chaz. 

Bars and pubs in or around Chaz?  You can count around around twenty bars within the nation of Chaz or within walking distance.  There was one gay bar within Chaz....hard to say if it's still operating.  Booze might be questionable for delivery at this point.

Survival of Chaz?  Well, being a optimist....I'd say that they will survive through til the middle to end of next week.  There is a federal law or two on the concept of insurrection, and it involves hefty time in jail if convicted.  Course, Trump could just look the other way and say that Seattle is 'lost' and suggest that Chaz can hold onto the whole city of Seattle. 

So this brings up several questions.  Will it be the Chaz Seahawks?  Will Sea-Tac Airport rename to Chaz-Tac Airport?  Will you be required to hold Chaz visas if visiting?  Will the 7th district of Washington state (Chaz area) be voided and the lines redrawn? 

What happens if the area around Portland also converts....to 'Flippy'?  What happens if 'Flippians' decide to fight 'Chazians'?  Would we stand in the way of this civil war or try to help the Chazians out.  And if the people of Boise flip into a new Republic of Berg?  Would we help the Bergians out if Chazians came to threaten them?

Pretty exciting with all this chaos, if you sip enough booze and get animated over CNN coverage. 

(please note, if the Chaz people ask for me to be an ambassador, I would seriously take them up on this)

My Feeling Over Renaming Bases

With all this chatter about renaming US military installations if they bear some Civil War individual name.....I've come to this conclusion.

First, we need to rename the Civil War....the 'Uncivil War'.  This is because it was very uncivil in the end.   This will require taking in all history books (libraries, high schools, universities), and burning them....then waiting for the replacement books to arrive.

Second, all bases.....even those which have no connection to the 'Uncivil War'....need to be renamed.  So I would start a new naming convention.  Base 'A1'.  Army Post 'E8'.  Naval Station 'Q8'.

Occasionally, we would switch the names around, to confuse the Russians and their strategic targeting.

Third, anyone named Lee or Bragg in the US....will be given one year to adapt to a new last name.  Anyone failing this order, will be given the last name of 'Trump'.

Fourth, all American history will be limited to the first seven years of high school.  History will be forbidden after that point.

Fifth, any 'experts' who appear on CNN or Fox, to talk about history....must pass an actual history test, on a yearly basis.

Sixth and final, all statues and paintings within the US Capital building must be removed by the 4th of July of this year.  The Capital building must be sanitized and represent....nothing of the the past.

(I should note this....toward the end of an era in both Roman and Greek history.....statue dumping reached a enthusiastic period, and everyone was doing it on a weekly or daily basis).