Who Do You Call

Back in the late 1970s....I started traveling.  I was fortunate that the Air Force gave me that chance, and I've traveled through dozens of countries and admired lots of different cultures. I've observed TV, comedy series, food, beverages, hostility, and lots of aspects that you typically don't think about.

My brother brought this up yesterday....over something involving Asian folks.  I sat and pondered over cultures and reactions to chaotic events.  You can't say precisely in every single case....how various cultures will react, but there's this trend-line....you tend to know alot about chaos, and human reaction.

So you throw up some situation....a barn on fire....a broken water-pump....a flight to be cancelled where you need a plan 'B'....or some bear that has walked into the middle of your backyard.  You then mix the various cultures.

1.  The German.  This culture wants to study the problem for a fair amount of time.....making a plan which likely revolves around six options or resolutions.  All might work, but the time to reach that moment is generally more you'd like to imagine. 

2.  The Italian.  The Italian will go from zero to sixty in ten seconds flat in terms of emotion, and might possibly do more damage than the current situation is creating.  Some emotion will be driven into the problem, and you can't be sure about the final outcome. 

3.  The Greek.  Well....does it really have to be resolved or fixed today....will be the first question.  How important is it to be fixed....will be the second question.  This will be like a question and answer session with Socrates (former blacksmith in his early years).  At least an hour will be used to center on the relative significance of the problem.  In the case of the bear event....you'd hope that both of you are inside of the house at the time.

4.  The Japanese.  An immediate question or two will pop up first....how did this all occur?   They'd like to know the cause and only work toward resolving that one single problem.  Emotion will be throttled back....maybe to 20-percent of what the Italian guy was displaying.

5.  The Icelandic culture.  At least five minutes will be devoted to watching the chaos develop because they've never seen something like this....EVER.  Then about forty minutes will be devoted to talking about nature, and this chaos is part of the bigger picture in life.

6.  The Brit.  Some quick reactionary plan will be put into immediate action, and it'll be something of a creative nature that you could never repeat in a thousand years.  Even after the event, no one will be able to describe why he took fourteen different steps, how each step fits into a precision solution, and how they stopped the barn fire, or removed the bear from the backyard.

7.  The Chinese culture.  There will be a period of review....perhaps a few minutes, then a plan will be established, and a solution put forward.  There's a fifty percent chance that the solution plan is more dangerous than the current event....that they might make the problem worse than it already is.....or that some fight might break out among the handful of Chinese folks over comments uttered or insults thrown at bystanders. 

8.  The Irish culture.  They will mostly stand and talk a good bit about the problem....suggesting a pint of some ale as part of the process, and then talk over the woes of the problem in detail.  Their son, their daughter, or their relatives....will have seen the problem and it's a matter of talking this over and repeating the process.

9.  The French culture.  They will suggest that there is a special office or agency to handle this, and it's best to leave it to the government to fix the problem.

10.  Finally, the Russian. In one sweeping motion, with almost no plan, or words.....the Russian ends the problem in seconds.  They kill the bear....put out the fire....or arrange for a plan 'B' after the cancelled flight. Then, there's vodka to be poured, and long discussion over everything except the chaotic event.  By morning, most of what happened is forgotten. Then they proceed on.....remembering nothing and rarely writing down the solution for future generations.