Sunday 4 June 2023

Thirteen Mental Issues I Expect To Arrive Shortly

1. A least 3,000 Americans proclaiming themselves to be fairies.

2.  Guys to take up wearing Indian war-paint, and telling HR folks that it's part of their Apache tradition.

3.  Women to start wearing strap-on-dildoes and acting manly.

4.  12-year old kids openly smoking cigars.

5.  Fake-but-mentally-ill-Christians starting to carry anti-demon gear, and attempting exorcisms on people.

6.  Attempt to pass legislation to allow under-age marriage down to the age of 12.

7.  People start attempting first-name changes several times a week, and start wearing a name-tag to inform people of what they are to be called today.

8.  At least 10,000 Americans will proclaim that they are unEarthly aliens, and want to be treated as guests of the planet. 

9.  School systems start to agree to halt all math by the end of the 4th grade, deciding that the majority of Americans don't need any beyond that level.  Kids will agree, then ask why English, science, and the remaining subjects be treated the same way.

10.  Some doctors will suggest that sane people living in reality....are mentally disturbed and need to be treated.

11.  College kids begin to speak like Senator Fetterman....making no sense, and professors accept this as normal in grading for presentations.

12.  Several thousand Americans identify as Mrs. Santa Claus (the trans-Claus).

13.  Light intolerance will be proclaimed, with tens of millions of Americans wearing sunglasses all the time....even indoors.  Doctors will be stunned, as there is no science to prove this intolerance. 

2 comments:

LargeMarge said...

Eleven:
Apparently, the Honorable fetterman proclaimed:
* "A place deserves somewhere to eat lunch."
And who can argue with logic like that.

Schnitzel_Republic said...

As I worked in the Pentagon (2010-2013)...there was an example like Fetterman. Guy had a stroke....spent 12 months in some care and wanted a return to his old job (Gs-worker). He needed like 18 months to collect a pension deal. Like Fetterman, words got trampled-up and they ended up moving him into a dead-end job...no one reporting to him...no production. Agenda was to get him to 18 months and he'd retire.

Part of me wants to believe that Fetterman wants a fed pension deal (requires 5 years of service). He has Penn mayor/Lt Gov years...probably would collect around $45k a year from that. If he got five-plus years with Senate job...that's probably in $45k as well.

I try not to ping the guy much, but the current job just adds more stress and puts him up for another stroke.