The Stoic Guys in a Storm

I see a fair number of comments made by young individuals in Florida....over the impending storm.  For those under 25....it's like hurricanes have never occurred in their life (I admit....it's been over a dozen years since the last one).  For those over sixty years old....they don't over-react....they've got a chest full of medals having dealt with at least twenty hurricanes in their life, and there's some list up on the kitchen-wall with forty items listed.

If you grew up on a farm as a kid, you tend to know the stoic route and the reactions required.

At the first suggestion of storm activity....the farm reaction is....did such-and-such weather-guy from the local channel say this, or was it that idiot from the national channel?

Then the farm guy will ask....show me the Doppler-radar....as if they have a vast knowledge level of Doppler and can explain this in great detail.  Doppler radars often rank up there with International Harvester tractors, and McCulloch chainsaws.

Then the farm guy will ask if this is wind-related, rain-related, hail-related, hurricane-related, or tornado-related.  He'll let you know that he has a particular action list for each one (maybe forty task lines) and each is treated different.

Then the farm guy will go out and note the fuel-level in the truck.  The dog will take note of this and realize that we've moved from regular daily business....to near-chaos business.  A half-full truck will require a trip to the general store where you converse with eight guys on the latest gossip, their weather interpretation, the upcoming funeral for Brother-Jim, and you will pick up a case or two of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Then the farm guy will find the appropriate jacket for the event.  Most of them have not been washed in twelve years.

Then the farm guy will start to follow events via the weather-radio network and occasionally pull up the Doppler picture off his cellphone.  The dog will follow along because he senses that utter catastrophic events are likely to follow.

Then the farm guy will check his fencing to ensure no problem really exists prior to the storm.  It's wasted time because the cows have already checked all weak fencing points and know the best place to escape the farm.

Then the farm guy will note some Baptist minister stopping by and attempting to pray for him and his farm.  It usually takes sixty seconds to let the minister know that some Catholic Priest already did the prayer and spilled a bit of water on the drive-way.  Things are fine, and he can move on.

Then the farm guy will note the last hour prior to the storm....mostly pulling the lawn furniture in and roping up any loose items.

Then as the storm lays in and power goes....the farm guy will pull out the $2k generator he bought and find that it won't readily start up and he wastes an hour of the storm cranking it up.

As chaos and turbulent winds occur....the farm guy sips through a cup of coffee and lays out the better choice dog biscuits for dog.  A surreal calm comes over the dog....like the calm that comes after leaving the veterinarian office without any shots.  

Then the farm guy goes into repair mode....cleans up on limbs in the yard....cracks up a beer or two, and assesses his situation as ''acceptable".  Actually....it doesn't matter what happens....the end result is always "acceptable".

He'll drive around now and visit other farm guys who generally say the same thing.  Some will offer up a beer.  Some will remark about such-and-such storm from 1982 or 2008.

Then he'll do another fence review....to find a dozen cows standing there some point where a tree is leaning against the fence.  The cows...sensing a chance to escape...pause and wait.  In five minutes, the tree is cleared....the fence tightened up a bit, and the cows have a frustration moment.

By this point, the farm guy will return.  He'll settle back to watch such-and-such weather guy, who will have a full slide of comparison against the spring 1972 storm, versus the April 1958 storm, versus the November storm of 2009.  The farm guy will write down some notes, in order to have some commentary at the general store for tomorrow.

Storms come and go.  If you asked the guy about the last forty storms, he'll rate each and note how things came back to some normal stage.  As much as some journalist or 'snowflake' would get hyped up....the stoic nature kicks in and restores the sense of balance in the real world.