Wednesday, 4 July 2018

The Right-Wing Bernie

There was a piece out there yesterday, which kinda led me in circles.  There's some accusation that Bernie Sanders (you remember him from the 2016 campaign) while awful socialist in nature (he likes to admit it and grin while in agreement).....has been said by the new socialists appearing in public be too right-wing for them.  Yes, as left as you or I might observe Bernie.....they say he's too right-wing.

My brother notes that Bernie is civil in his discourse, and he thinks that where Bernie fails the left-wing socialist 'test'.    This led me to pondering process.

Is it possible that even today....Karl Marx (the guy who wrote the book on socialism and communism) would fail the test, and be called a right-wing guy?  It's possible.

Would Lenin fail the socialist test, and be called right-wing?  It's hard to say.

The general test?

Well, first you have to believe anything capitalist is you need to at least desire to live under a bridge and condemn capitalism daily.

Second, you need to believe that everyone that has money.....needs to be taxed to the extent that they are flat-broke like you, and that money is shared out with you and your fellow socialists.

Third, you need to believe that unions can only serve the greater good of mankind.  The fact that they might be corrupt?  Discount that real quick.

Fourth, you need to believe that the world would be a better place without the police. Police just get into the middle of everything and make it all worse.

Fifth, the answer to all problems always goes back to more government.

Sixth, you believe in open discussions as long as everyone talks about your subject, in the correct way, and agrees.  If they can't agree with need to end the discussion.

Seventh, you compare everyone you meet on some Hitler-scale, and disagreeable folks generally rate near a '8' on this scale.

Eighth, are always pro-marijuana.  You'd like to see it legalized, but not taxed.

Ninth, you generally enjoy periods of unemployment....the longer, the more entertaining it can be.

Tenth, you like the color black when picking clothing for public appearances.

Eleventh, you enjoy showing just a hint of violent character....up until the point where you end up at some protest with ex-Marines. 

Twelfth, you always cite that such-and-such European country is real socialist, and then always get shocked when you see a fair amount of wealth existing in that country.  You always get a bit embarrassed when admitting that you've never been to Europe, and the most socialist place you've ever been was San Francisco.  Course, then you admit you were awful doped up when walking around San Francisco, and you might have just dreamed a bunch of stuff up.

Thirteenth, you live in constant fear of turning right-wing.  It's bad enough that you often visit a mental health guy and talk over this stress in your life.  All he can suggest is to smoke more marijuana, and keep capitalist people out of your life.  Your doctor even hints that he might be capitalist because he drives a BMW.  You attend meetings in your early 30's to talk over your feelings and learn that other socialists are suffering the same stress. 

Fourteenth, you keep citing that western democracy has failed, but you never seem to talk about the Greeks, Plato, Aristotle, or that nutcase Socrates.  You generally admit that you never studied philosophy, or sat in a true history class.

Fifteenth, your day is consumed thinking of a large number of folks as being 'lesser' in terms of comparison to you.  It starts out with coffee, and then continues on through the morning.  By noon, you have to do a double-joint to continue your line of thinking.  You always see happy people as a threat, because they just aren't wise enough to see the terrible world up close and personal.

Finally, you get to some peak and collapse....when dad or mom cut off the $500 a month that they've been sending you to support your 'life-under-the-bridge' routine.  Then you have to resort to capitalism, and deliver pizzas. 

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