- Evangelicals Saving You
- Rev. Richard Cizik is the VP for governmental affairs of the National Association of Evangelicals. This is part of the big group of over 30 million evangelical Christians. The good Reverend is a Washington lobbyist and leading proponent of “creation care,” the philosophy that caring for the planet and all it holds is biblically mandated duty (his own words....not mine). So, if you haven't guessed it....his job is to make evangelicals to think green. You would hope somewhere in the thinking of these folks....someone is charge of saving souls and keeping the body pure....but maybe that ain't the case anymore. So Richard's web empire....put out a grand proposal....their top ten ideas to save the planet. You would think long and hard on this one. Number ten....block junk mail. Yep.....they actually tell you to stop it....it ain't Godly and needs to be halted. Number nine.....save those damn worms. Number eight....get your religious boss onboard. Apparently, these folks are thinking that if the minister needs to be thinking in such a fashion. Number seven....never overpack. Yep....all that paper going to waste. Recycle....it's God's word...you know. Number six.....set examples. If you pollute, over-consume, etc....then you are violating God's word. Ride the bus and pubic transit. Do the carpool. Go to church with your neighbors. Stay at home on Sundays and watch NFL football....oh.....well.....forget that last one. Number five....unplug the TV, stero, computer, the battery charger, the clocks, the vibrating bed, and even the satellite dish. Do it for God! Number four....think GLOBAL! Love yourself and the dictator from North Korea. God wants that, and its for humanity's sake. Besides....Mr. Kim just wants to take your life and squeeze everything out.....let him do it for the globe. Number three....wear cotton. Its biodegradable. And besides...for you guys...wearing that rayon shirt stuff....makes you rather gay-looking. Number two....give more than you take. Unless you are the feds or some religious cult group....or that neighbor who borrows the mower and never returns it. Number one....go all-hybrid. Save the world....buy a new car. Strangely enough....they don't mention a word about praying....but then if you are really religious and are using the religion as a false cover....praying doesn't matter....does it?
Tuesday, 12 February 2008
- Getting Smart over Global Warming
- Back a couple of years ago...there were these two fellows....Christopher Essex, a professor in the Department of Applied Mathematics at the University of Western Ontario, and Ross McKitrick, an associate professor in the Department of Economics at the University of Guelph. Chris and Ross decided to pause for a while and give global warming a Socrates moment.Chris, by the way, happens to study mathematics, physics and computation of complex dynamical processes. Somewhere along the way....Chris decided to raise fundamental scientific issues with regard to the science of global warming. His top example.....the "average global temperature." Chris hates to admit it.....but really and truly....such a thing doesn't exist. Yep, you just can't add up temperature and take its average like you can with physical quantities such as energy, length, etc."Thermodynamic variables are categorized as extensive or intensive," said Chris. "Extensive variables occur in amounts.... Intensive variables [such as temperature] refer to conditions of a system, defined continuously throughout its extent." Here.....he gave an example....one could add the temperature of a cup of ice water to the temperature of a cup of hot coffee, but what does that number mean? It doesn't mean anything, because there is no such thing as total temperature. And if you were smart enough or foolish enough....to divide that number by two to get the average...that doesn't mean anything either. Strangely enough....this is precisely what goes on....on a daily basis across the globe....to get a average global temperature.Chris also pointed out that the internal energy of a system can change without changing the temperature and the temperature can change while the internal energy of the system remains the same. "This disconnect happens routinely in the natural world around us all the time," said Chris. "Ultimately, this has to be so because temperature and energy belong to two fundamentally different classes of thermodynamic variables."So where does this leave us Ripley-ites? The Al Gore wannabes....would like for us to believe that average temperature can tell us something about what is going on in the climate, but it is just a number with no physical content. Its like building a tax code for Ripley.....based on the number of squirrels on Baker Street compared to the number of drunks at the Legion Hall on Saturday night...its a number of no consequence.Then.....really to add more insult to injury, Chris explained that there are literally an infinite number of averaging rules that could be used, some of which will show "warming" and others that will show "cooling," but the "physics doesn't say which one to use."Then Chris got around to explaining that the earth's so-called greenhouse effect does not work like a greenhouse. "Incoming solar radiation adds energy to the Earth's surface," he said. To restore radiative balance, the energy must be transported back to space in roughly the same amounts that it arrived in. The energy is transported via two processes - infrared radiation (heat transfer) and fluid dynamics (turbulence).A real greenhouse works by preventing fluid motions, such as the wind, by enclosing an area with plastic or glass. To restore balance, infrared radiation must increase, thereby causing the temperature to rise. Predicting the resulting temperature increase is a relatively straightforward process.But the "greenhouse effect" works differently. Greenhouse gases slow down outgoing infrared radiation, which causes the fluid dynamics to adjust. But it cannot be predicted what will happen because the equations which govern fluid dynamics cannot be solved! Scientists cannot even predict the flow of water through a pipe, let alone the vastly more complex fluid dynamics of the climate system. "No one can compute from first principles what the climate will do," said Chris. "It may warm, or cool, or nothing at all! Saying that the greenhouse effect works the same way as a greenhouse, which is a solvable problem, creates certainty where none exists," said Chris.Of course, ifing you were a real scientist fellow....actual graduate of Auburn or Texas Tech....then you'd be aware of these issues that Chris talks about. And so you ought to be coming up front of the room and making sure that the media and politicians making sure they understood facts. But that ain't the case. Instead, we have some scientist folks....desperate for more funding and chummy with the Al Gore wannabes....who pump out a scientific consensus that the planet is warming up, it is caused by man, and the effects will be catastrophic. Ross offered a very convincing explanation. He discussed several relevant groups, but we'll focus on politicians and what Ross calls "Official Science."So what we come down to....is a Ripley political moment....these idiots need big issues around which they can form winning coalitions. Global warming is a grand issue because because the majority of folks aren't scientists nor would they ever want to be scientists. Face it....its too complex for a regular guy to read up on and comprehend. Then the politicians come around to policy initiatives...which you know must be heroic in nature....to save the whole Earth. And the cherry on this cake.....it all cost money....thus more revenue and more taxes. Yep....think about that part.
- Fighting Against Satan....Priority Number Two
- Up in Minneapolis this week...there was a meeting of the minds.....well....ok....a meeting of the National Association of Evangelicals. Apparently....just saving souls ain't enough....at least for some members of the group.Members of the organization to rebuff complaints from some of the religious right's leading lights about the organization's newfound focus on global warming. Yep....the dimwits finally got around to the worst sin of all....global warming.We can say alot about this group....45,000 churches....60 evangelical denominations. Apparently no action was taken on a letter sent by 25 conservative Christian leaders demanding that the organization restrain its Washington policy director, the Rev. Richard Cizik, from putting forward his views on global warming. "We have observed that Cizik and others are using the global warming controversy to shift the emphasis away from the great moral issues of our time, notably the sanctity of human life, the integrity of marriage and the teaching of sexual abstinence and morality to our children," said the letter, which was signed by prominent religious conservatives such as James Dobson, Don Wildmon, Paul Weyrich and Gary Bauer.Yep....as you would have thought....somewhere in the midst of this fight over Satan....Dr. dobson had to be involved. But this Cizik character probably deserved a blast or two.....for being a bit outspoken on the global warming issue, saying in a recent documentary that "to harm this world by environmental degradation is an offense against God."Ole Doc Dobson and the other signatories of the letter to the National Association of Evangelicals board said in pretty strong language.....that there just wasn't enough evidence to support global warming....and that their organization....of all of them....."lacks the expertise to settle the controversy.""The issue should be addressed scientifically and not theologically," they said, calling on the group's board to either rein in Cizik or encourage him to resign.As if this weren't strong enough....ole Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council, said global warming was part of a leftist agenda that threatened evangelical unity. "We're not going to allow third parties to divide evangelicals, and I think that is what is happening in part with the global warming issue," Perkins said.So the board met, read the letter and then said they were standing behind good ole Mr. Cizik....in fact....they also broadened the group's agenda with a statement condemning torture, which charged that in pursuing the war on terror, the United States had crossed "boundaries of what is legally and morally permissible." If you didn't catch all the words and phrases...the boys are anti-Bush and anti-Republican. Yep....but then....if they were real men of the cloth....they would be saving our souls and fighting satan....wouldn't they?One of the members of the board summed it up well in their anti-Republican drive. The Rev. Paul de Vries said, "It ought to be God's agenda, not the Republican Party's agenda, that drives us. "We're actually tired of being represented by people with a very narrow focus," he said. "We want to have a focus as big as God's focus." Yep.....as big as God's focus. These Baptist folks who have brain-washed me a wee bit....often said....God's focus was the soul and the grand fight against Satan. The only way to put this in the same logic...is to say that GW is Satan....but then...that just wouldn't be right....or would it?
- Just What We Needed
- Yes, this week....Mexican wrestler 'Hijo del Santo', otherwise known as 'Son of the Saint'.....stood up at a news conference in Mexico City, and make a major announcement. With the heat of the battle on....and all of the evil he has to combat each day in the ring....."Son of the Saint"....has decided to team up with the environmental group Wildcoast to work in a campaign to protect the oceans. So after long debate in Ripley over this announcement....we were wondering if Al Gore might join him in the ring....and then take on Hulk Hogan and the Undertaker. Good verus evil...you know. But note....I didn't say who was on the good side or the evil side. And you know the Hulk!
- Meeting of the Minds
- Fortunately for us.....a bunch of journalist dudes met last weekend.....during the American Bar Association environmental law conference. Notice.....I didn't say lawyers. Apparently some fellas got bored with the main hall being taken up by lawyers.....so they took up another hall and discussed global warming.
Wouldn't you know...global warming is the hottest story of our time, and it will get even bigger as the full implications of melting ice caps and rising sea levels percolate through the media pipeline and into general public awareness, a panel of journalists said last weekend. Yep....pretty hot stuff. We are dying....it ain't pretty. The world is coming to an end. And the sad truth is....I never got to see the last episode of Battlestar Galacticia. Yep....that's the sad part.
Apparently, the boys focused on how the media has covered the story and whether or not public perception of global warming has changed in recent months and years. Amongst all the questions...the big one was why it has taken so long for the story to reach critical mass.
Most of the boys credited Al Gore's documentary, "An Inconvenient Truth," with helping to generate attention. They couldn't think of much else....and the booze hadn't been delivered to everyone yet so they couldn't dream up a new cause. The fellows did say they must help explain the evolving story in terms that readers can understand, by showing them how the impacts will affect their lives....this the entire panel agreed upon.
"If the scientists are anywhere near right, we can expect massive dislocations," said Fialka, of the Wall Street Journal's Washington, D.C., bureau. As always, the biggest burden will fall on the poor when sea levels rise and disease vectors grow in developing countries, he said, adding that those impacts will subsequently require the charity of developed industrial countries.
"We live in a country where more people care about the death of Anna Nicole Smith than the death of a planet," said moderator Judy Muller, a long-time NPR contributor and associate professor at the University of Southern California's Annenberg School of Journalism. Sadly....we must agree with Judy. But you know....she is the best hottie that NPR has and I personally think she is a bit dim on world affairs....but just my own honest opinion.
Most of the fellows agreed that there has been a huge change in public perception of the global warming issue just in the past year. After explaining that the story has been reported for several decades, they tried to answer the question of why it has taken so long to catch hold. Graphics! BIG TITLES! And hottie analysts who know nothing but really look good on the air.
Its interesting that a bunch of fellows can meet like this and actually find someone to report their meeting....during spring training. Most of the real news guys are covering the Yankees and Braves...and boozing it up with the older managers. This is the best story around.
But on the far side of the moon...here are the boys....who really know very little and depend on stupid viewers who ask no questions and just accept the news as fact. The minute you get smart....and question global warming....they will dump you as a viewer quick. Lets be honest....they own the story until you say otherwise. Think about that.
- As you travel around the world....you start to appreciate art and statues. Not that I really know anything about either.
Two years ago....I made a trip to Denmark and sat in front of a store for an hour...admiring mostly this dang statue in the picture. Some art dude must have spent a couple of weeks making this and put alot of energy into it.
In the reality of things....statues only have one purpose in life...just to look at and admire. Thats it. You can talk fancy about them....but those are just wasted words.
In my case...I just kept thinking...she's got boobs. My guess is...on a hot summer afternoon when people are boozed up....some guys release their observations and probably talk to the boob-statue. It would be interesting to sit around and hear these conversations....probably like some priest who takes confessions...you know. Maybe I need to confine my travels to Ripley and not make inspirational messages like this.
- And the Pope Says What?
- Apparently.....Pope Benedict.....as chief assistant under Pope John Paul (the heavy-weight champion).....had issues in 1997 when Bob Dylan was headlining a big youth event...which the pope was to show up at.
Benedict says that he considered the pop star.....the wrong kind of "prophet" to be in company of the Pope. He says: "There was reason to be skeptical, I was and in a certain sense still am....to doubt if it was really right to let those types of prophets intervene".
All things considered....if someone thinks Bob Dylan is a prophet....then something is dreadfully wrong. Even Bob would say that. However....ifing we were talking about Al Gore or Bill O'Reilly....that might fit into the right context here. In the Ripley world....we don't rightly run around and worry about whose status is a prophet or such. In fact....if someone was to proclaim that.....we'd be checking their alcohol consumption and if they had been smoking anything of a strong nature....if you know what I mean.
- Birthday Boy
- Down in Ripley.....we honor birthday boys. Usually a cake is dragged out and some relatives sing for the dude. Down at the legion hall....we buy the dude a beer or two....and avoid asking how old he is. At the local Baptist church.....the dudes name is mentioned and somebody might even pray for him ifing he is getting a bit old.
Well....Ossama's birthday was Saturday. So we reckon he had a decent birthday....all things considered. The cave was probably tidied up a bit. Somebody probably bought up some cans of Dr. Pepper or Tab for him to sip on. He might have gotten a present or two from his old buddies. George Bush would have liked to have sent a present....but just didn't know the street address.
All things considered....Ossama should be happy that he has made it this far. He is a fella with limited years to go. He can't procure a VISA card or dance the tango in Paris or sip cheap scotch in London. Kinda sad that your life is wasted to such a degree....and doesn't even have to do with booze or women. In Ripley...we'd call this destiny or something.
- Top Ten Ripley Myths
- It is often necessary to examine myths and say something....sometimes the truth...sometimes just some glossy stuff....you know.
1. The Legion hall in Ripley was built by Freemasons: Well...this is not totally true nor totally false. There might have been a fella or two that was Freemason....not that we'd admit such. And really....does it matter? When you need a long sip of something....and decent company without any women around.....where you gonna go?
2. The water tower in Ripley once contained a special AF transmitter for nuclear war operations: Almost completely false....although we did slide up a strobe light back in 1988 and play some Jimmi Hendrex music one night with the light turned onto the turbo setting. No one remembers anything the next day but there was purple paint spray-painted around town and several guys were found in ditches with lapses of memory. We never repeated the episode.
3. Ms. Denise, the real estate madam, wears only clothing from Victoria's Secret: mostly false (at least we will take this position). Ms. Denise prefers a cheap hooker look as she sells her upscale real estate. For some reason....most manly customers pay strong detail to her explanations and there are few reasons to bring the wife along....they'd just get in the way.
4. Elvis stayed two nights in Ripley back in 1966: We can prove that he did stay one night at the local Dolphin Delight motel....where the registry book still has his name in highlight marker there today. The room was later modeled with his image on each wall and today is the highest rental room in the entire city of Ripley. Some husbands will admit they've brought their wife to the Elvis room at least 30 times. They claim it lengthens the marriage and makes things more pleasurable. We don't argue with folks like this.
5. Sixteen people passed out at the 1999 Baptist tent rivival: True. It was the only year ever that the local Baptists rented a circus tent and forced members in July to sit in the tent with 98 degree temperature. The ambulance folks toted people out every 12 minutes at one point. After the 1-day session....local authorities (mostly Church of Christ types)....demanded that the tent be taken down. Baptists don't talk or refer to the event in any conversation today....it's like some holy water spilled or something.
6. Live rattlesnakes are passed around at the Pentalcostal service on Demont Street. Totally false. Its copperheads.
7. George Bush was in Ripley once. True....but under differing circumstances. Lt George....while in the Air Guard of Texas....accidentally flew into Ripley when lost with one of their jets and had to sleep over at the Southern Comfort lodge while the AF fellas fixed the plane for the next day. Charley....from the lodge....said that George just kept talking about the road map they gave him and how it looks different from 10,000 feet up.
8. Anne Nicole Smith stayed at the Southern Comfort lodge. Well....originally.....most of us guys all thought this was true....but later after our billfolds were empited out.....we learned that she really wasn't the real Anne Nicole Smith. But you know......for us....it didn't matter.
9. Lack of bathrooms at the Piggy Wiggly lead to a serious sanitation problem. Yes. This did occur and we will deny nothing. It was free sample day and some lady from Jackson came up with some kinda Mexican fruit.....a funny name that we don't remember. She gave out several slices, and then some funny Mexican water to go with it. Within a 60-minute period.....44 people were left trembling and in need of facilitites. Unfortunley.....the PigWig.....has only one male and one famale stall. So the remaining 42 people ran outside and leaned their backsides against the brick wall on the left side of the store. Brown streaks were left there....and the local fire department had to soak down the walls with some solvent stuff that they use for toxic waste spills. It was a pretty sad event to witness. I was personally saved because I was late and the samples were just about gone. Later, someone remarked....it was pure hell....and only strong people could have taken the actions necessary to survive. I didn't say much....just nodded.
10. Ripley is pure and without any sin. Yes.....this is absolutely true and its because of their non-drinking efforts of the Baptists. The devil will never be allowed to enter the town and spread sin around. ((I wrote while under the influence and cannot be held responsible for irresponsible writings)).
- Gun Control Wisdom
- First....I did steal this from LIBWHACKER over on FREEREPUBLIC and readily admit so.....second, read deep if you are a Ripley-ite.....because you might not comprehend it on the first reading.
1. Banning guns works, which is why New York, DC, Detroit & Chicago cops need guns.
2. Washington DC's low murder rate of 69 per 100,000 is due to strict gun control, and Indianapolis' high murder rate of 9 per 100,000 is due to the lack of gun control.
3. Statistics showing high murder rates justify gun control but statistics showing increasing murder rates after gun control are "just statistics."
4. The Brady Bill and the Assault Weapons Ban, both of which went into effect in 1994 are responsible for the decrease in violent crime rates, which have been declining since 1991.
5. We must get rid of guns because a deranged lunatic may go on a shooting spree at any time and anyone who would own a gun out of fear of such a lunatic is paranoid.
6. The more helpless you are the safer you are from criminals.
7. An intruder will be incapacitated by tear gas or oven spray, but if shot with a .357 Magnum will get angry and kill you.
8. A woman raped and strangled is morally superior to a woman with a smoking gun and a dead rapist at her feet.
9. When confronted by violent criminals, you should "put up no defense - give them what they want, or run" (Handgun Control Inc. Chairman Pete Shields, Guns Don't Die - People Do, 1981, p. 125).
10. The New England Journal of Medicine is filled with expert advice about guns; just like Guns & Ammo has some excellent treatises on heart surgery.
11. One should consult an automotive engineer for safer seat belts, a civil engineer for a better bridge, a surgeon for internal medicine, a computer programmer for hard drive problems, and Sarah Brady for firearms expertise.
12. The 2nd Amendment, ratified in 1787, refers to the National Guard, which was created 130 years later, in 1917.
13. The National Guard, federally funded, with bases on federal land, using federally-owned weapons, vehicles, buildings and uniforms, punishing trespassers under federal law, is a "state" militia.
14. These phrases: "right of the people peaceably to assemble," "right of the people to be secure in their homes," "enumerations herein of certain rights shall not be construed to disparage others retained by the people," and "The powers not delegated herein are reserved to the states respectively, and to the people" all refer to individuals, but "the right of the people to keep and bear arms" refers to the state.
15. "The Constitution is strong and will never change." But we should ban and seize all guns thereby violating the 2nd, 4th, and 5th Amendments to that Constitution.
16. Rifles and handguns aren't necessary to national defense! Of course, the army has hundreds of thousands of them.
17. Private citizens shouldn't have handguns, because they aren't "military weapons'', but private citizens shouldn't have "assault rifles'', because they are military weapons.
18. In spite of waiting periods, background checks, fingerprinting, government forms, etc., guns today are too readily available, which is responsible for recent school shootings. In the 1940's, 1950's and 1960's, anyone could buy guns at hardware stores, army surplus stores, gas stations, variety stores, Sears mail order, no waiting, no background check, no fingerprints, no government forms and there were no school shootings.
19. The NRA's attempt to run a "don't touch" campaign about kids handling guns is propaganda, but the anti-gun lobby's attempt to run a "don't touch" campaign is responsible social activity.
20. Guns are so complex that special training is necessary to use them properly, and so simple to use that they make murder easy.
21. A handgun, with up to 4 controls, is far too complex for the typical adult to learn to use, as opposed to an automobile that only has 20.
22. Women are just as intelligent and capable as men but a woman with a gun is "an accident waiting to happen" and gun makers' advertisements aimed at women are "preying on their fears."
23. Ordinary people in the presence of guns turn into slaughtering butchers but revert to normal when the weapon is removed.
24. Guns cause violence, which is why there are so many mass killings at gun shows.
25. A majority of the population supports gun control, just like a majority of the population supported owning slaves.
26. Any self-loading small arm can legitimately be considered to be a "weapon of mass destruction" or an "assault weapon."
27. Most people can't be trusted, so we should have laws against guns, which most people will abide by because they can be trusted.
28. The right of Internet pornographers to exist cannot be questioned because it is constitutionally protected by the Bill of Rights, but the use of handguns for self defense is not really protected by the Bill of Rights.
29. Free speech entitles one to own newspapers, transmitters, computers, and typewriters, but self- defense only justifies bare hands.
30. The ACLU is good because it uncompromisingly defends certain parts of the Constitution, and the NRA is bad, because it defends other parts of the Constitution.
31. Charlton Heston, a movie actor as president of the NRA is a cheap lunatic who should be ignored, but Michael Douglas, a movie actor as a representative of Handgun Control, Inc. is an ambassador for peace who is entitled to an audience at the UN arms control summit.
32. Police operate with backup within groups, which is why they need larger capacity pistol magazines than do "civilians" who must face criminals alone and therefore need less ammunition.
33. We should ban "Saturday Night Specials" and other inexpensive guns because it's not fair that poor people have access to guns too.
34. Police officers have some special Jedi-like mastery over handguns that private citizens can never hope to obtain.
35. Private citizens don't need a gun for self- protection because the police are there to protect them even though the Supreme Court says the police are not responsible for their protection.
36. Citizens don't need to carry a gun for personal protection but police chiefs, who are desk-bound administrators who work in a building filled with cops, need a gun.
37. "Assault weapons" have no purpose other than to kill large numbers of people. The police need assault weapons. You do not.
38. When Microsoft pressures its distributors to give Microsoft preferential promotion, that's bad; but when the Federal government pressures cities to buy guns only from Smith & Wesson, that's good.
39. Trigger locks do not interfere with the ability to use a gun for defensive purposes, which is why you see police officers with one on their duty weapon.40. Handgun Control, Inc., says they want to "keep guns out of the wrong hands." Guess what? You have the wrong hands.
- Balls of Fire
Up in Eau Claire, Wis this week....and its winter....don't you know....some fella found too much time on his hands. Two dudes were standing around and wanted to attempt a repeat of a stunt from one the "Jackass" movies....where a dude lit his genitals on fire. Jared....we won't repeat his last name....suffered serious burns apparently...to both his hands and genitals....when Randell sprayed lighter fluid on him and lit him on fire. The cops would like to charge Randell with first-degree reckless endangerment and maybe even felony battery.Jared....apparently had a few drinks....and thought it was a simple prank. He pulled down his pants and got a minor dose of lighter fluid....when the fire didn't catch....his friend sprayed alot more lighter fluid on him. Needless to say...it was a might more than what should have been done. Jared did run into the bathroom and jump into the tub....thus putting out the flames. But guests had to carry him.....sadly.....to Luther Hospital, and eventually he was treated at the Regions Hospital Burn Unit in St. Paul, Minn., for second-degree burns.
Jared told police who were called to the hospital that he didn't want anyone to get in trouble because of the stunt. Nice fella....not to rat on his buddy. Apparently the cops didn't buy that story and rushed to arrest Randell. Randell is free tonight on a $2,000 signature bond. He has a hearing scheduled April 16. If convicted, he faces up to 10 years in prison.Considering everything to have happened....we think Randell ought to get a couple of days of nursing duty at some local hospital and thats enough punishment for the idiot. And as for Jared....he might want to give up drinking and join up with the Baptists. They could sure use a person with his testomony to help prevent folks from drinking....at least to excess and stupidity. Not that we'd know anything about that kinda stuff in Ripley.
- Praying For Bush (but in the other direction)
Interesting enough....Mayan priests....not any relation to them Catholic fellas....are going to be double-time this next week. Apparently.....down in Guatemala City, Guatemala (for Ripley-ites....thats a far piece south of Del Rio and as Mexican as you can get without being Mexican)....they are organizing themselves together in the interest of elminating "bad spirits" at some sacred archaeological site. The reason....GW will be visiting there later in the week.
According to Mr. Juan Tiney.....the chief diretor of the local Mayan nongovernmental organization with spirtual ties to some Mayan leaders...."That a person like (Bush), with the persecution of our migrant brothers in the United States, with the wars he has provoked, is going to walk in our sacred lands, is an offense for the Mayan people and their culture." Mr Tiney adds "the spirit guides of the Mayan community" decided it would be necessary to cleanse the sacred site of "bad spirits" after Bush's visit so that their ancestors could rest in peace. He said the rites entail chanting and burning incense, herbs and candles.Some local Democrats in Ripley were wondering if a similiar ritual would be necessary there....should GW come around. This disturbed the local Baptists folks....who got all upset that anyone local might suggest chanting and burning incense, herbs, or mary-j-u-wanna. This sounds like some kinda Wican stuff....and in Baptist territory....you'd have to pray for Moses to rise from the dead if some kinda weird stuff like this was going on. Personally....we think these Mayan dudes don't have much to do and probably way too much incense sniffing going on.
- The Bio Pit
- This is the week that GW went off to Brazil to jump-start bio-diesel and bio-technology concepts in the US. You would sit and thank that lots of folks ought to be happy about this. But really....deep down...they aren't.
So lets start with the Green dudes. They are unhappy because it takes millions and millions of acres to grow the sugar beets or corn to make bio-diesel. This could mean more forrests trimmed...to grow more sugar-related products...and thats not good.
Adding to this episode...people are driving the same amount as before...without cutting back...which is a major theme of being green. Conservation must occur before you can start to feel innocent again.
Does bio-desel fix the problem? No....which makes the Green dude still unhappy. You can get a good mixture of 70 percent oil and 30 percent bio material...which makes the engine run prime. So the end-all, fix-all solution...isn't in the hands of the Greens.
Adding to this mess....real oil still must be pumped.
Can Nebraska fuel America? No...at best...you might have a state or two like Louisiana or Mississippi...that grow enough sugar beets...to trim back 5 percent of the national requirement. Five percent is better than nothing. Its a sad logic...but we are stuck with that.
The amusing thing is that this is GW's best trip in five years and the only one that the news folks are forced into showing him in a decent light. To watch Couric give any pat on the back...and see how miserable she is....is worth the watch.
- Not to Be
- Today...it was announced by Marvel Comics...that Captain America will be killed off.
A dark chapter in comic book history is now written. Supposedly....a snipers round will take the might Cap down. The hero of American patriotism....dead. This is supposed to bring new energy and life into Marvel...which has kinda crapped out. And by this method....I would state the obvious....Marvel has crapped out.
It is a dark shadow which stretches across the land tonight. The Cap is no more. We are now left with Thor...the only man who can keep the bad guys out. May Odin watch his son....and provide all protection and the hammers necessary...less we mortals will be taken out one by one.
- If True
- This week....we learn that the Walter Reed facility isn't A-class....or B-class. And there are numerous issues with the facility for GI's. So the GI's went to the only place that would listen and told their story...to the media. The media made sure that the public found out.
So then....the Pentagon checked out the place and agreed. But then they did a strange thing. They announced daily wake-up at 0600 and inspections by 0700. Yep, the wounded are expected to act in such a manner. Oh...I should correct myself...the hero's are expected to act in such a manner.
So far....we haven't heard a single Reed-resident say otherwise on any other media outlet...so at this point...the story is likely to be 90 percent true. Those guys affected by the inspection rule....likely are the ones with not-so-severe wounds. I can't see how they could come around to some dude's bunk whose lost a leg or arm...and play this hokey game.
The inspectors? Can you put yourself into this position...having to mess with a guy who just came out of a combat zone? I spent 22 years in the military and I personally couldn't stand there and act like an inspector around a bunch of hero's like this.
This whole episode is like some members of the "300" at the battle of Thermopylae...surviving...and making their way back to Sparta and having some political flunky there treat them as simple foot soldiers when they were the hero's of the battle. King Leonidas would have pulled his sword from his side and put the tip to the inspector and asked if he felt the room was "of a fine nature for a warrior and hero to lay upon and have his wounds attended to". I suspect that several Walter Reed managers would be running from the facility if King Leonidas were to step foot upon the grounds. He would not have allowed any hero of the nation to be treated with disrespect. All of the 300 earned their honors....like so many of our own today. They deserve better treatment.
We might want to ask of the Walter Reed leadership...how they'd like to treat hero's of a Republic and see if they understand the basis of the question.
- Little Sparky
- Once upon a time....in a faraway land....little Sparky owned a house. Sparky was a bit of a elite character...always ahead of the other guys on the block. One day....Sparky came up and started to talk tough about power consumption....massive use of power....and even global warming.
Sparky wanted to tell the world about how bad it was to abuse the amount of power you consumed. Sparky wanted to spread the word far and wide. Eventually....Sparky even got around to making a video on his favorite topic. Sparky figured....eventually....you'd believe everything he said.
So time went on....and Sparky kept living in this nice house on the edge of town. Sparky's thoughts were.....just talk.....and the public would buy your story. Sparky appeared on networks and even got himself nominated for some kinda Nobel prize.
All was in the positive light....until one day....someone got ahold of Sparky's utility bills. Sparky.....apparently never believed in easing up on consumption of power. Sparky didn't believe in conservation. Sparky didn't believe in his own words.
Sparky turned out to be using 221,000 kHw per year. Thats twenty times what grandma jones uses down on Elm Street of Ripley. In fact...thats about 18 times what I'd use in a average year. But the truth is.....inconvenient truth that is....that it didn't end there. Sparky was using $1,080 worth of natural gas per month. Thats over $12k per year of natural gas.....added to the 221,000 kHw....it amounts to $30k per year of utilities cost.
Sparky was shocked.....mostly that you were able to figure this out. It should have been private information but apparently up in Tennessee....it ain't private....it's public information. And some folks finally started noticing what Sparky was doing.
So now.....Sparky jumps up and tells you that he has switched over to TVA "green power"....and that he has added solar cells and cheaper bulbs to his house....really a mansion....but we'd rather not talk about that in Ripley.
So we started to read up on TVA "green power"....causing we are from north Alabama....shocking as it might sound. TVA has this wonderful thing that you can do.....sign up for "green power"....pay a premium price....feel good.....and supposedly....it comes from renewable green sources. If you dig down deep enough into TVA information and actually read up on this......TVA does have a "green power' program....mostly windmills, some methane, and some solar cells. And it does produce 97 million kHw. But when you add this up....TVA must produce 152 BILLION kHw. Make a comparison....and ask yourself....when these dimwits all buy their 97 million kHw of green power....is it really all green? Down in Ripley....we'd pause here and have a smile....a grin....and then answer....NO. It can't. But ifing you are dumb enough to require extra power....and pay extra.....they sure as hell will give it to you.
So lets turn back to Sparky's house. How you consume that much power? I asked a bunch of real analytical folks.....and got some surprising answers. First....you need an indoor pool which is heated 12 months out of the year. Then you need central air for a 4,000 sq ft mansion....which pours out air 24 hours a day.....seven days a week. Even if the outside temperature is 74 degrees.....doesn't matter...central air must be thrusted upon the owner. The best part.....you buy a central unit that is 150 percent the size that you really require.....thus requiring more power than you'd ever need.
Add to this.....a massive number of lights. Toss in some huge comm requirements which run 24 hours a day. And if you really were into it.....a basement with 80 Mary-J-u-wanna plants....being heated and bulbed.
So.....Sparky ain't the wise one that you wise. He is consuming $30k worth of power per year. And Sparky is burning $1000 worth of natural gas a month....which makes you ask even more questions. Sparky claims he is cleaning up his act. In fact.....Sparky....alias Al Gore....says that he is fixing all of his problems. My bet is that Sparky brings in a generator and hauls in 30k gallons of fuel to avoid the public knowing his actual bills in the future....or maybe he buys the house next door and pumps power over from there. Sparky just ain't as smart as we think.
- Something That Would Never Occur In Ripley
Down in the city of Clifton, NJ.....the city council there is about to issue a ordinance on a limit on how long dogs can bark. Yep.....you can believe it.
Noisy canines will be defined as those that bark for more than 30 minutes on two consecutive days. The city already has nuisance and "noise laws that can be used to address annoying and disturbing noises such as constant barking." But city bigwigs said that these laws were just too difficult to enforce.
Police have to investigate complaints, and the city Health Department sent 11 letters last year warning that a summons could be issued if the barking continued, health officer John Biegel said. Clifton has issued 3,756 dog licenses this year. Getting a summons is rare, because the person who complained must go to court to sign a complaint. Fines for the new ordinance could start at $250, John said.We think that John is going to be a busy dude in 2007...and probably bringing in an easy $30k of fines for the city. We ain't never been to Clifton...but think this might be a town in need of capital. And the cops probably aren't giving out enough traffic tickets to get the city rich like they want.
In Ripley....this would be a hard law to enforce. And we think it might help reset the city council on the next election if carried forward.
- Oscar Predictions
- I rarely make predictions for the Oscars...but here...24 hours away...I'll make one prediction.
Al Gore wins. There is no doubt that Al will walk down the aisle and accept the award and launch into a global warming chat. Al's year is about to start...Al will run the global warming concert scene in July. Al will win the Nobel prize for Peace. Al will announce his candidacy for president by November...and sweep Hillary off the map by March of 2008.
Prepare for Al's big year. Its a scripted thing...and likely to be made into a mini-series. Al has been quietly waiting....day by day...having been barely beaten by GW. Al knows that his time will come.
- Survival Tools of Life
- Once in a great while...here in Ripley or the mind of such....we come to this subject...survival. For some....especially Baptists....if you just got a good preacher and a Bible in the house....plus no alcohol on the premises....then you have all the tools necessary for life. For some other folks....as long as you have ten cases of Bud and a case of Jack Daniels....then you might have enough to survive....at least for a weekend with your two buddies.
But I sat and thought about this....and came to some startling conclusions. There are probably ten things that you really need to have in order to ensure your survival:
(1) Duct tape...the good stuff...not the generic type you buy at Wal-Mart, and at least 300 ft of the stuff.
(2) A Gerber knife...preferably the Pro-Scout model
(3) A flashlight, preferably one of them rechargeable types that Wal-Mart sells next to the fishing area.
(4) 300 ft of rope....the nylon type...unless you intend to tie someone up (then use the softer types....not that I would know anything about such events...you know).
(5) A bottle of Windex. Don't buy the cheap generic type at Wal-mart....get the real thing and the extra large size. Its good for wounds....kills bacteria. Its good for windshields....gets them bugs right off. Good for getting fish smell off your hands after a long day of fishing. And if you been kissing some cheap gal from Marty's Grill and Bait shop...it'll take her perfume smell off you before you get home.
(6) A compass. You can never tell how lost you are....until you stand and admit you done lost your way.
(7) One bottle of Jack Daniels. Some folks would recommend a case. But if you know whats good for you...you stick with just one bottle. In a case where you got really severe pain....open the Jack for a long sip. If your wife has clobbered you on the front porch with the frying pan....open the Jack for a long sip. If your hunting dog just won't come back to the truck and is lost....open the Jack for a long sip. If your Baptist minister comes over to discuss your lack of appreciation for soul-searching....open the Jack for a long sip. It can't hurt.
(8) A dog...preferably a border collie who will herd you in the right direction.
(9) A Bic pen...preferably one that writes upside down. Wal-mart has them near the check-out area. After you've gotten yourself good and lost....you might want to write something down....to remind you how this occurred and if you should have done something different.
(10) A good Italian wife who can cook and keep a husband focused. Now I realize some Ripley gals will take this as a derogatory compliment. Some German gals might even get huffy. Some British gals might just go ballastic and scream royal murder. But Italian women are known for letting their husbands know that they've screwed up big-time. They tend let the husband know that his focus isn't 100 percent....which is demanded by most Italian women. But the best part is....when it comes down to cooking.....even in the wilderness....with just a packet of sauce and box of cheap noodles....them gals find all these herbs and onions to toss in....and you end up with a feast...thus never starving in the wilderness like some of them folks do in various movies. Plus....that Italian gal will make you find your way back out of the lost situation.
- 2011 and the Coming Census Results
- In three years...the census starts. By 2011...its finished. And then begins the redrawing of 50 states and their representative boundaries and how America will function for the next ten years. This entire game....is a waste of time but demanded by the Republic.
Some people will say that its all fair and impartial....that computers are arranging it in a fair method. The computer "models" they use for redistricting....are the same type episode that we argue about concerning global warming. If you put seven factors...you get this kind of model. If you toss in 30 factors...you get a totally different outcome.
The question...who picks the models? And there...is where the incompetent politicans and media enter the discussion. In 1880...you really couldn't redraw the lines by a huge margin. You didn't have data. Even up in the early 1920s...there was a limit to how many factors you could put into an argument. But by the 1930s...statistics had entered the game and people were gleaning over data...and could make pretty good predictions. If you had a 3.5 county area of mostly blue-collar workers...then you knew it'd be a democratic stronghold. If you had a metro area...you knew that would be democratic in nature.
My argument here is that the statistics game and the choosing of factors are what divides us now. The party in charge of the state political machine the year after the census...is the one who can reset the chessboard. If I were a big player in lobby circles...I'd hold my money until the election prior to 2010...and then dump it into key state elections. I can rig up at least ten states for elections in 2012, 2014, etc. If I could convert 20 republican representative districts to be extremely close races...I'd have my chessboard rigged to aid the democractic cause for the entire decade. Because of the use of computers and models...I begin to arrange the outcome of future elections and the direction of America to a more liberal congress...and the best part...its NOT illegal to do this.
- Funeral for Anne Nicole?
- Are we still waiting? Yep....now almost three weeks coming up. Yep...won't be a open-casket ceremony. This is about as amusing as a funeral can get. The attorney is trying arrange a VIP funeral now...in the Bahamas...with at least 300 former customers of hers who want that last minute of seeing her. This is the sad part of this story. She was the highest price VIP hooker that you could hire in the US. She had absolutely no talent for nothing...except to look hot and to be a dynamic woman in bed. There are probably over 1,000 men who have paid out over the past 12 years. I'm betting he has a spreadsheet worked up with personal viewings being charged at $5k each...and the stupid part is that 100 guys would easily pay it to say they actually saw her.
- Nona Paris Lola Jackson
- Nona Paris Lola Jackson....came up and reported that she was the mother of Michael Jackson's three kids. She also claimed that she and Michael had sex on numerous occassions. And she claimed that she was responsible for helping Michael write 3,000 songs.
She is from London....and in the midst of Micheal's case involving the actual mother of his kids...this dimwit got involved. Somewhere amongst all the paperwork filed....she claimed that she was a "black jew born in the UK".....as if that really mattered in this case.
Its pretty bad when a woman actually stands up and admits that she has had sex with Mr. Jackson. In the case of Mike's first wife....Ms. Presley....it was strictly to get him into the Scientology movement. The second wife....was just an effort to serve as a baby-machine for poor Mike. If this were some opera....there would be twelve fat ladies up on the stage....all waiting to sing....but still awaiting.
- The Week in Review
- So lets add up this week. Brittney went back into Rehab....3rd visit...but who counts. And really...who cares? Shouldn't that be the question on everyone's mind? Do I really care? Nope. I got better things in life to worry about some rich dimwit broad who is mentally unbalanced and does alot of booze and drugs on the streets of Hollywood. Did I say that nice enough?
Hillary and Obama got into kindergarten battle this week. Was that worth mentioning? Nope...again...two dimwits...eighteen months away from elections....arguing over nothing (or at best, their sponsorship in Hollywood....which gets back up to tidbit number one....Britt in rehab). Hillary is wasting tons of time, effort and concentration way too early in the campaign. And Obama? One has to think he is intentionally drawing her out to argue like this so early....only to benefit the Al Gore dude. But I must be crazy to think Al is going to run....right?
The freaking girl scouts decided to take out trans-fat in their cookies. Normally...I wouldn't really care. But I've noticed in the past twelve months...every place that I might ever go to....for lunch....has taken trans-fat out of their operation. Funny thing...the sub for trans-fat....is crap. I hate the fries from all of these joints now. So I just skip fries entirely now. Yep....getting them all to switch trans-fat was brilliant....made the fries taste so bad...that its just not worth eating them anymore. Makes me think there was alot of thinking in this effort.
Some teenage nut in the Salt Lake area...went into mall and started shooting. Of course...they got the kid. Turns out he is from a Muslim family...so naturally....you know the telling of the story. Funny thing though....if you really read the kids history....he was a Bosnia survivor as a 10-year old kid. He had seen enough crap in his life....that he was probably not functioning at even 80 percent on the normal scale.
Venezuela trimmed off 3 zero's from its currency....to make it look more realistic. Pretty smart move for that Hugo-fella. Course having the worst inflation in Latin America...17 percent....probably helped Hugo make the decision. Wish GW would do something like this.
Spring training started in baseball. Another year with Pete "the better" Rose in the dumps. But don't cry too much. Next year is when GW exits, and word on the street is that GW will pardon Pete...and thus allow entry into the hall of fame. Thank God we have GW in office.
Two clowns were shot at point-blank range in Bogota, Colombia. We were trying to figure the angle of this in Ripley....but then we don't have many clowns coming around our neck of the woods. Usually when something like this would occur in Mississippi...there was a woman involved and some drugs. But this is Colombia....
Back in my home town....a local Bubba I grew up with....who got messed up on meth and other drugs over the past year or two....apparently shot up his house a bit. Neighbors called the cops and they persuaded him to give up. Mental exam required.....of course, I'm betting he fails and gets a ward room for a year or two. I grew up with the guy. He was smart....and had potential. He just never got started in the right direction. Kinda makes you think about where you stand today and how lucky you can be.
Here abouts in Mississippi....a professional jail operations technician (I said that as fancy as I could)....was arrested and charged with introducing contraband after money and marijuana was found in his mashed potatoes. Can you believe that? Drugs in the mashed potatoes? Bobby Earl Hannon......got arrested over last weekend. The big guys caught the food containing the $200 in cash and two lousy ounces of Mary-j-uwana. Bobby Earl claims that some woman brought the food to him. Investigators became suspicious when Bobby Earl made a statement that he didn't eat potatoes but had a large portion delivered to him at the jail.
Apparently....some fellas didn't have much to do....so they did up a report...with analysis....and now claim that half of young children are anxious about the effects of global warming. In fact...these fellas are now claiming that the kids are often losing sleep because of their concern. These guys actually went around to 1,150 youngsters....between seven and eleven...and found that one in four punks blamed politicians for the problems of climate change. These punks....one in seven....even said their own parents were not doing enough to improve the environment. The punks even admitted that they feared consequences of global warming included poor health, the possible submergence of entire countries and the welfare of animals. Apparently....most of the punks did understand the benefits of recycling....although ten percent thought this was an issue linked to riding bikes. We sat and pondered this in Ripley. At age 11...I was really concerned if the Braves would ever have a winning team. I was worried if Hawaii 5-0 might be taken off the air. I was worried about Tommy "Wildfire" Rich being beat up too much on Saturday afternoon wrestling. I was worried about the Baptists possibly having a July revival....with no AC available. I was worried that the Cowboys might not be contenders. This was my world in 1971. Where are we today? Is it possible that punk kids are actually believing something that bogus?
- The Strange Update of Melissa Busekros
- Well...the saga only continues. Apparently, the judge and the family came to a decent compromise.....she could return home and live in the house but must seek mental health care and establish some kind of class schedule (either public or private) but not home schooling.
But....as one would expect...the Youth Office said no and the deal won't be carried out. Kinda amusing....the fact that the judge and family had this all worked up....and the social department can toss it out.
Adding to this mixture.....we are starting to get a history lesson on the German Youth Office. It actually was created in 1939 by Hitler....to help pave a way for the German youth to reach a mature and safe position in life. Amusing today....if you study the concept of Nazi control over the family, religion, and life.....and their impact on German society 60 years later. Nothing has changed. Of course....I am NOT hinting that Nazis still run the government...heaven forbid you'd think that.
At this point.....I think the most practical answer is to bring Pope Ratzi out of Rome.....give him his whoomping stick and a dozen of his Swiss Guard (who will die for the Pope at a moments notice if required)......and just take a tour of Bavaria. About ten minutes of Pope whoomping....and I think this whole affair will terminate.
- A Grammy Map for the Disenchated
- So a week has passed with the Dixie Chicks and their impressive Grammy episode. After a vast amount of reflection....we are left to the awesome belief that Rowan & Martin left to us....the Fickle Finger of Fate.
It was fate that brought the Dixie Chicks to the public. It was fate that moved them up the charts. It was fate that made them a household name. It was fate that 9-11 occurred and the eventual Iraq invasion. It was fate that brought the Dixie Chicks to Europe where they made their first comments about the sorry state of the American Republic. It was fate that someone in Europe actually wrote down the comment and it became US news. It was fate that Toby Keith started to talk trash on Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks. It was fate that the country music empire...based out of Nashville...decided to abandon the chicks on the side of the road. It was fate that the concert scene for the chicks dried up in 75 percent of their former market. It was fate that "artists" stood by the Dixie Chicks throughout this shadow period...although none of these artist are known past the Mississippi River. It was fate that a Grammy episode occurred where a lot of the attendees were expecting it to be a night of music...but got a taste of something else. It was fate that the Chicks won for country music album....although they got only air play on the west coast. It was fate...pure and simple.
So the Chicks deserve the Fickle Finger of Fate. They earned it. They richly deserve the finger...for alot of things. Where can a group like this go next? Toby Keith would gladly tell you....but out in Ripley...some Baptist folks would get offended about where he might suggest they go.
- To Settle a Long Story: Vince Foster
- Once upon a time....Vince Foster was a happy and lucky guy sitting in Little Rock. He had taken a lot of projects in his life and found solutions to each one. So the day came when the mighty Clinton machine was to leave the hamlet of Little Rock and venture to big top. Vince Foster....really wasn't a pro....he was triple-A at best....and that was his pain. He could admit such.
For a number of years.....alot of people have led blogs and stories with the love connection between Hillary and Vince. The real story always fall upon the floor.
Let us come to the real story. When Vince was asked to be part of the White House staff....he was simply to be another "project" guy. To take problems and fix them. The path for Vince led off with the "travelgate" episode. For many....this is a forgotten part of the Clinton period. Travelgate was a modest epiosde. For decades....a central and neutral office existed in the White House staff...of professionals.....who fixed up travel arrangements for the press covering the presidents frequent travels. Money went into the office, and paid for arrangements.
As the Hillary team walked in on day one.....the planned agenda included the dismantling of the travel staff. The pressure was brought to bear by Hillary to "get our people in those slots." It was a simple order....take apart the neutral staff and make them a presidential appointed staff. Vince was left to this project....to struggle to implement the Hillary orders.....and was basically told....."hell to pay"....if they didn't accomplish this. Vince knew without a doubt....that the charges leveled against Billy Dale....chief of the travel office....accused of embezzling trael office money for personal use.....was silly and totally untrue. But this was the Hillary team.....persuaing Harry Thomason's goals of the total Hillary team. Vince.....at this point....probably started to feel that he really didn't belong there.
As time went by.....he was given the next project....to find the end solution to the Waco affair.....which would be amusing in the fact that he had no law enforcement background and was never on the ground there at Waco. He should have been the last character to have any plan for this situation. But that wasn't the Hillary-dominated White House. In the early months of the Hillary period....the Waco episode consummed the press. This was not the planned agenda. So Hillary....using Vince and the old reliable Webb Hubble...fired on pressure to the AG....Janet Reno. This effort....although amusing to think today....that a non-elected offical like Webb or Vince or a salty-mouth Hillary....could swing the Reno team out of their situation....stands as a impressive achievement.
Linda Tripp commented upon the attitude of Vince...as the attack occurred on the compound and the reality that children were dying. This simply laid a dark shadow across a man who carried an enormous amount of weight for the Hillary mission.
So finally....we come to the minor episode of the Swiss bank account. Vince....who you may be shocked to know....had a secret account. And Vince had been stashing money throughout the years....back to this secret account. Yep.....you might be interested to know that some reports indicate the sum to be well over $2 million that this small-town Little Rock lawyer had saved up.
Around two weeks prior to his death....Vince apparently came to discover one day....after making reservations to go off to Europe (airline and hotel reserved).....that his two million were not in the bank account. Where did the money go? The Swiss authorities said plainly....the US Treasury. Apparently....some of the NSA's best boys were nosy and found various trails around the money. Yep....some of the trails led back to Isreal. So the appearance here is certain....Vince did some projects on the side, in the interest of Isreal and got paid.
Vince never admitted this. And you have to wonder what a small-town lawyer in Little Rock gets paid by the Isreal government to accomplish?
There are enough indicators to show that there were alot of players in Vince's position and this was a clear and automatic program running....with no one in the White House probably realizing the intention of the effort or how it would affect politics. A left-over from the former Bush administration? Well....no....actually the entire program started during the Reagan era.....just running with no real leadership from the White House.
But to this degree....once Vince knew that the NSA dudes were onto this payment situation....he sat there waiting for the other shoe to drop. At any point.....they would come to the house and arrest him for something. Add in the family history of depression and the use of a few drugs....and Vince was on the edge of wigging out. He was not in control. This was not the life he dreamed of. He had vast riches taken away that he was to use for retirement. Nothing was working like he anticipated.
So one night....he stepped out of the office and wrapped up a messy situation. This was the Vince Foster story.....a bit player who deserved to do his time in Little Rock.....and instead faced the pressure of the major leagues. He wasn't meant for that. And today....just another footnote in history.
In Ripley.....we'd call this a woeful tale. The guy probably should have known better....but then life ain't that simple.
- As Strange As It Might Sound: Senator Clinton (the dude)
- Well....its finally making the rounds....the effort to ensure a real job for Bill....after Hillary wins the presidency.
I realize you are thinking....hard as you might in Ripley.....that the election is still 18 months away and Hillary might actually lose. Yep.
But in the world of Washington reality....or non-reality....they are now pushing the idea of an appointment by the New York governor (a Democrat now)....of ex-president Bill "the dude" Clinton. The logic carries that Hillary will have too much going on to have a loose Bill running around the White House....so he needs a real job. Its a wonderful idea and we are sure that that those New York fellas don't really care who represents them because it really doesn't matter. It could be Senator Rosie or Senator Donald Trump for them. The idea is that this placement will help get Bill into the position where he can run in 2012.
But the logic has some leaky holes. Namely....there are alot of interns wondering around the senate....and Bill is such a hot dude....that he will end up with at least one if not a dozen once he comes into the position. We are confident that Bill hasn't learned a single leson in the past five years....and will make himself into a bigger fool yet. But hey....this ain't Ripley....and ifing those New York fellas are this sure about it....then more power to them.
- Sirius and XM
- Once upon a time....there was this wonderful technology. Satellite radio. It was supposed to replace AM and FM. It was supposed to bring in various channels that the Fed Communications boys couldn't readily monitor or control. It was supposed to stir up the pot and bring in vast new radio-related technology. There were alot of promises.
So here we stand....with only two key players in this vast satellite radio game. And the fact is.....they are both losing money. Yep....even in Ripley logic....they just can't turn the corner. They are fighting over the potential crowd out there....and the crowd really hasn't turned from AM and FM yet...like you'd think.
So this past couple of weeks...the rumor went out and it appears true....the boys are talking a merger. No one knows what this will mean in the end. Its likely that some kinda of name change will occur....with a mighty one company focus coming forward. The interesting thing....is that once combined....they can settle on a vast plan for expansion and just plain forget about competition. There is virtually no other player out there....and they could have the next four years as a sole source satellite radio connection. They could build a huge network....spanning the globe. They could do things that even Radio Free Europe just dreamed of. The potential is there. But the question remains....can they settle their differences and merge? I'm thinking yes. It might be a great investment chance.
- The Britt
- Ok....do I really care about the new Brit? The shaved Brit? The newly tatto'ed Brit?
Well....no. Its hard to find a woman willing to just walk into a new saloon and try a new look....but to just walk in and damand all of your hair shaved off? Nope....that don't happen in Ripley much. The fact is....we can't find many guys who'd do something like this when they were pure drunk on Jim Beam.
So we are left with a fairly unusual situation. For us....Brit is on the borderline of needing to go up to that facility up at Iuka where they keep the "breakdown" folks. We don't talk much about the facility....its not a dinner-table topic or something you'd bring up at the local cafe. Usually....once you run up to Iuka to admit yourself in.....you don't come out for several months. As they say up in Iuka.....a breakdown ain't like your hard drive going corrupt. You gotta cleanse your spirit and soul....and rebuild from the interior. For some folks....thats castor oil of the 9nd variety...the type you'd rather not take from grandma no matter how good it is supposed to be.
So we are thinking....Brit has finally reached that point. The K-Fed affair....the quickie wedding to that Louisiana kid....the parties in LA....the lifestyle....the drugs...etc. It finally added up and she held up till the bitter end. And in this case....the fat lady is singing away. This opera is coming to an end. Its either going to be an entirely new opera in a year or so....or its going to be a tragic deadend opera like that Anne Nicole Smith gal.
So ifing that Brit gal ever reads any blogs....and wonders upon my words....my two cents. Sipping on a tall ice tea with half a lemon on the back porch of Ripley....is what makes life so interesting. We don't stress ourselves or drive cars at 120 mph or party with celeb wannabes. We find a path and just settle in for the long run. A fast-burning candle....will not last that long. Think about why that is.
- John Murtha in a Ripley Minute
- Its hard to spend a minute of Ripley time on Mr. Murtha. To pull out all of the speeches and commentary of the gentlemen takes a while. I spent several hours trying to find the real John Murtha....which is a difficult thing. You can tell that he relies heavily upon advisors....and has his arguments drawn up by others. He doesn't readily argue points....which is readily apparent on various talk shows. The commentators for the most part....toss softball questions. They know he can't think well upon his own. I'm very welling to believe that ten or fifteen years ago....he might have been a bold and brilliant man.....but I'm leaning fast toward toward the thought that his best days have passed by. The sad part....is that he now runs a major congressional committe. You would hope for some leadership and intelligence that is able to comprehend and stand on its own. The bottom line is....you won't get that via John Murtha. So sit back....and enjoy the next two years and the amount of discussion we have on the guy. Its sad that you have to discuss people and not real topics....thats the worst part of this Ripley minute....you aren't even getting to a true topic.
- Italy for a Moment
- Down in Rome.....there is this old ancient ruins area....where 2,000 cats roam. I spent a good hour standing up above this "pit"....and simply felt charmed by the action going on. The locals apparently don't care....and the cats just roam in this "pit" all day long. I doubt that they ever leave the area. And I'm betting they must get fed regularly. So, ifing you are ever in Rome.....three or four blocks from that fancy fountains "pit"....then take an hour off and just go over to observe the cats. Chill out. Drink some wine. Have a good Rome day.
- Finally The Ace over Global Warming
- In our poker game of life....we've been waiting for the ace to fall....and finally this weekend...it happened. Potentially, on 13 April 2036....a asteriod called Aphphis will strike the earth. Yes...it is a one in 45,000 chance that the orbit will change in such a way to strike the mighty earth. This weekend....a bunch of astonauts, engineers and space geeks met to discuss the situation and try to figure out a way to save mankind. At the top of their list....they wanted the UN to assume leadership over the world, and protect the world.
At this point...Ripley-ites start to smile a bit and ask who exactly will run the organization and how many staff members will it take...and how many BMWs should they allocate to each division in the mighty new UN leadership office. Further complicating the matter is the fact that the asteriod is only 415 ft in diameter. It might be big enough to wipe out a city the size of Ripley....which we might be wanting to discuss this further....ifing Ripley is the target. But then....you start to discuss Las Vegas odds like one in 45,000 of it even coming down upon the earth.
We think its interesting how big fancy town like San Fransisco always get these conferences....and folks never come out to Iuka or Ripley. There must have been at least 1,000 honored guests and hookers at the conference...and no telling how many mistresses accompanied their engineer boyfriends....whose wife stayed faithfully at home for the weekend deal.
We'd really like to believe the story....just to have a item to trump global warming. But with one in 45,000 odds....we'd be better off hoping that the Saints might win the Super Bowl next year.
- Hell for Smokers
- This week...the German health minister announced plans to forbid smoking in cars.
Yes...shocking as it might sound....that is the dream of the health ministry. They actually said that there is a tremendous amount of hazardous air in every car....which smokers are generating, and this must come to an end. Two years ago....they outlawed cell phones chats while driving. So this is the newest episode to come up.
While most think this initial round will go down easily. They also predict that by 2010....it will likely pass in some form. You can just see the stressed out smokers.....having accidents....and blaming it on lack of nicotine. It will be an amusing episode to watch.
- Ten Questions We'd Rather Not Answer
- Amongst the minds of Ripley....we often pose questions that go beyond the Wolfe Blitzer list of Sunday topics. These questions even cross the boundary that Larry King sets. Some people would even say that our questions defy the rules of gravity and the ten commandments (as Baptists would interpret them). So here are the ten questions that we probably don't want to answer:
1. Will NASCAR ever become a major thing in China?
2. What was Brittney thinking when she shaved her head?
3. For twenty million bucks....would Rosey kiss up to Donald Trump?
4. Which was Hasselhof better in....Night Rider or Bay Watch?
5. Did Anne Nicole Smith ever display any real talent?
6. What were the fools thinking at CBS when they hired Katie Couric?
7. Is it true that Bert and Ernie were designed as a gay couple in the first place?
8. Why do environmentalists who talk of global warming...never talk about reforesting the planet?
9. Who would ever build an entire city nine feet undersea level and then expect the entire country to help pay for any repairs to facilities in this "aqua-zone"?
10. Why are there "red" states and "blue" states?
These are ten questions that ought to be left to people who really don't have a life....and just need to watch CNN or FoxNews 24 hours a day.