Long Ago

Years before Hillary met Bill and moved to Little Rock to be Ms Clinton....she did rope tricks and rode "Tippy" over the badlands of Oklahoma. She carried a pistol and could shoot a man dead at 50 feet. Known for tying one on....she would consume 12 shots of whiskey and then shoot eggs off the back of her favorite horse. Rumor had it....that she'd shot six men one day....mostly by accident....when they spoke some flattering words about her boots.

One day, as Bill rode through town....Hillary felt the urge to dump the cowgirl lifestyle and just become a regular woman. So she sold Tippy and gave her gun to a homeless man on the street, and left the good life.

Years later....after arriving at the White House as wife of Bill....did Hillary regret this whole mess and wish she'd kept her gun and horse. But by then....it was too dang late.

WHNT: The Rove - 60 Minutes Saga Continues

So, the FCC wizards will show up in Huntsville this week...to question WHNT (ole Channel 19) over the 60 Minutes "loss of connection" episode. Two weeks ago....on 60 Minutes...they featured a nifty dirt article on Karl Rove and how he tried to bring down a Alabama governor but failed. Although this is the democratic governor who later was discovered accepting bribes for stuff and sits in prison today. Channel 19 apparently lost its satellite connection at the key time and this entire part of the Karl Rove story on Alabama.....didn't arrive. Some locals.....up to twenty complaints....believe that Channel 19 did this on purpose.

I'm pretty sure the Channel 19 folks are going to be dressed up in their finest and give those FCC folks a mighty fine Bama welcome. The very idea.....that they'd do this for Karl.....is just totally up wrong. Having grown up in north Alabama, and spent many hours of my youth watching the Channel 19 station....with H D Bagley (the ole dude for weather) and Grady Reeves (the wrestling moderator and 7AM morning show dude).....I'm a staunch Channel 19 supporter.

I'm guessing that the FCC folks will smile for the cameras.....do a interview or two...and then have real ribs for lunch...and settle back to write a five page document on how things just accidentally occurred. And for those who are't aware of the worldly status of Channel 19....this is
Storm Center 19, the only channel to watch during tornado episodes....which is rather odd....that in all these years....they've never lost their signal at the wrong time.

Obama & Hillary

I don't have much hope for those Democrats. The mess is pretty screwed up at this point. The episode of Rush coming to say that real Republicans ought to support Hillary....probably didn't help, and may have tipped things toward Hillary in Texas and Ohio to some very small degree.

So this is the route left. Of the states left....North Carolina is the only state Obama might absolutely win. The rest are all 50-50 chances. I think at the end of this 10-state run....Obama will hold a 50-delegate lead at best, and not enough to win.

So we move to the convention. Hillary will make topic number to seat the Florida and Michigan delegates to get her votes. I think she might get these....based on legal trouble in the Federal courts. I believe the courts will order the Democratic National Committee to sit the boys in the convention center. This court episode won't start until mid-May at the earliest.

So the majority of the national Democratic players....are going to be hot and simmering over this....but now comes the super-delegate episode. Hillary will promise just about anything you want....to get those votes. I think half of them will vote for her. I also think that Edwards lousy 29 elector's.....will be the final key to her winning the thing.

The only stumbling block left is the remaining ten states. If Obama were to win six of them....it would trigger a more difficult route for the super-delegate count. Hillary can't figure to get more than half of the super-delegates at best.

Who wins? McCains gains valuable points to use in November....and Hillary would be accused on the national level of being a loser and yet winning. You'd also have a group of 10 million hard-core Obama supporters....who won't side with her at all. This is damage done....and not to be fixed.

Diversity & How Things Work in the Real World

This week in DiversityInc.com....there was a article by Daryl Hannah (not the Splash gal)....who discussed the seven things that you should never say to a Gay or Lesbian employee in the office. Its basically the politically correct method of avoiding problems and not saying anything to get into trouble (or fired).

I sat and read through this. "What do you like to do in bed" is one of the comments you never talk about. You certainly should not say "I suspected you were gay". Its written very serious....but I sat there and started to laugh. Being in the military for 20-odd years....you have to be careful about everything you say....so you learn.....but then you learn to say things to trigger other responses.

Someone wrote a comment after this DiversityInc article...about their husband who had been talking about some project in the office when a woman wanted to quickly change topics and admit she was a lesbian and asked if he had an offense to this. Her change in topic...had nothing to do with the discussion underway. My honest guess is that she was preparing this guy for a fall with the boss or HR. Once he said he was uncomfortable....he was toast. The wife didn't write what the husband said....maybe to protect him slightly.

My response to the lesbian....if asked if I had an offense to working with lesbians? I would have sat there for about 10 seconds....and then admitted I was into devil-worship and had no problems with lesbians. That would have sat the lesbian back a notch....thinking that she couldn't walk into the boss's office or HR to complain because she would have done a religious complaint....which is just as illegal as a comment against gays. Being absolutely deadly serious....she would have likely backed off....thinking that devil-worshipers are a group you don't mess with much.

I have a problem with people who walk around....trying to set up people to be fired or have the pay raise dumped. They are looking for reasons to unsettle you and make you sweat. The truth of the matter....is that you are there to deliver a product or make a sale....and talking diversity is about the last thing you ought to be worried about or thinking about. Vince Lombardi didn't take a diverse group of Green Packers to the Super Bowl and win. Vince Lombardi took people who wanted to play as a team, and beat the opposing team. Vince Lombardi would have been lacking for diversity training....but then diversity isn't a team-building idea.

The ABC Picture of Depression in Utah

This week on ABC...they kinda featured a piece on how bad life is in Utah. The key bit....an awful lot of Mormons....more than any other state....are in depression. The piece went on to blame the various edges of Mormons and their religion. It was a delightful piece delivered by ABC....and for most folks....would just puff them up to know that their state wasn't the most depressed. Yep....nice puff piece. And those Mormon folks...they really need help bad....ifing I believed ABC.

Simply an observation of mine in life....after watching people and life for almost fifty years. Those who put a mighty strong belief in religion....no matter if they are Mormons, Baptists, Scientology, Catholics or new-age....all tend to have a fairly unsatisfied life and feel somewhat miserable. I'm not anti-religion...but it seems the more effort you put into something...the less satisfied you are in what you are doing. I am kinda thinking folks are expecting "golden" answers...and not getting what they thought.

Its not a Utah problem....its a society-wide problem. Utah just has an abundance of dedicated Mormons.

And I will offer this insight...there are a fair number of male Baptists walking around...who drink a fair bit (unknown to their wives)...and they really don't toe the Baptists line that much (unlike their wives). These guys aren't exactly miserable or in a meeting program with some mental health doctor over depression. They are...just regular folks.

ABC does some occasional reporting that is 4-star in nature. This time....I'd rate it 1.5 stars at best. But the key thing here....dump on the Mormons as much as possible. Don't mention Scientology....because they might sue you. Thats why ABC is such a great news organization.....I better sip some more 60-proof bourbon to keep my mind focused the ABC way.

Kaiserslautern, Soccer & the Stadium

So this is the road to the pit in Kaiserslautern....concerning soccer.

First....the major-league soccer situation in Germany is rather simple. You have roughly twenty teams of various towns. If you finish in the top three...you play Europe-wide championship games and make a fair amount of extra money. You finish in the bottom three....they dump your team to the second league. The second league? Well....this is where 2nd-rate players and cheaper teams play. The second league also means that you charge roughly seven bucks max to get into a game. There are roughly twenty teams in the second league. If you make it into the top three of this league's ratings...then you move up to the first-league...more money...more class....more potential. If you get into the bottom three of the second league...you get dumped....to the regional leagues.

Regional leagues in Germany....are where small towns of 10,000 exist. They pay their players a small amount of salary...usually in the $10k a year or less. All of these guys have regular jobs and play on weekends only. They train after work, and stay in shape....hoping that one day....their lousy team might climb into the second league and they might actually collect a real salary. Its a fair method of encouraging team sponsors to spend money on quality players or face issues.

So here in Kaiserslautern...throughout the 1940s, 1950s, 1960s, and up until the late 90s....their team was in the 1st league. They had legendary players on the team.

At some point in the late 90s....they were sent to the second league for a year....from which they acquired a player or two....got back into the first league the next season, and won the German championship that year.

The boys up in Mainz, who control the government purse strings...set aside money and actually fix up the fairly nice stadium in Kaiserslautern. It was a 37,000 guest stadium which had been fairly renovated in the 1980s. But this extra money before the World-Cup period of 2005...really sparked up the Kaiserslautern stadium. Its one of the top dozen in Germany today.

Somewhere along the past three years....the club and its sponsorship have stalled out. Two years ago....the club was sent to the second league. Most locals said "no problem"....they would just climb out in a year and clobber the league. Well....after the first season in the second league....there were no real acquisitions or additional players of quality. The club really floundered. So this year's effort in the second league...was dismal. They finished the final game yesterday with a tie, and based on efforts of two teams this weekend....they are likely to be banished from the second league by tomorrow night.

The amusing thing....is that this basically pits this team from a town of 100,000 to play against cities of 10,000 or 20,000 residents. It'll be the finest stadium in Germany at the 3rd level of play. I doubt that they can charge more than $5 entry fee to anyone....and the players who remain with this club? I'll bet less than three stay. The club is in dismal shape and need a 4-star sponsor to step in. Here is where the issues lie.

Kaiserslautern is dying....in a economic sense. There is no job market....most folks now are fairly welling to drive to Mainz or Frankfurt or Mannheim...to get real pay and real jobs. So there are no major companies in this region. Opel manufactures cars....but this is a plant that has been on the sales lot for several years...with no buyers....so they won't sponsor nothing. They had a potato chip company sponsoring them for a decade or two....but the chip business isn't glowing.

The team has one of the best off-site practice areas in the country....with tons of state money poured in during the world-cup period. Its less than a mile from my house. I'm guessing that the local town may try to take the thing over and kick out the FCK club. Their value in local politics is slipping.

So its a sad woeful tale of how a major stadium exists in a town of 100,000 and is a home for a 3rd level soccer team. I'd expect for next season for crowds to be no more than 15,000 people at best. This is things are....in Kaiserslautern...home of the "unfinished building", a grand stadium, and 3rd rate team.

The Baptists Have Arrived in Sweden

This past week...in Stockholm....fourteen of the country's parliament ministers (congressmen, for you folks from Ripley)....decided to form a anti-drinking group (mostly left-wing....which is rather shocking).....and they want no alcoholic beverages served in the local parliament bar/chow hall. This has triggered a discussion from the 349 members of the assembly.....over abstaining from alcohol or possibly limiting folks. No one is sure where this will go. The fourteen folks....claim that a fair portion of their friends there.....can't abstain from booze.

This is a rather sad event. Apparently these folks drink there in the parliament bar/chow hall....they drink out in the street during recess....and they drink in the local pubs. One might even get the impression that they might out-drink Bama folks....but I'd bet against that.

Yep....the Baptists have arrived and will "dry" this county for sure. My advice for the Swedes.....hide your booze and learn how to flask appropriately. Its best to have two flasks on your person at all times....mostly 40 proof or more in each container....mostly vodka. Mix it with coffee or Pepsi....and just smile at everyone. That tends to fix the "Baptist" problem.

But you gotta remember....the last thing on earth you really want....at your house, your legion hall, the gas station, the pub, the city park, the parliament building in Stockholm or your pontoon boat....is a drunk Swede. Things in this universe go outta whack....if you got one really drunk Swede....so beware.

Doc on Aisle Five

Over in Manchester, UK.....this week....there opened up at the Sainsbury grocery store....a doctor's office. Yep....a doctor's office at the local store.

A few months ago...some political dimwit suggested this and apparently some really brilliant folks have bought off on this idea. Doc Mohammed Jiva is the dude running the place. Yep....he ain't from around these parts.

So far, its open from 1830 to 2130 two nights a week....and open on Saturday 1100 to 1500. They are calling this a test project only.

Being from Bama and familiar with Piggly Wiggly....I'm of the mind that the grocery store ain't the place where'd you'd want to have sensitive areas examined. I'm also figuring there ain't no x-ray machine or diagnostic equipment there. And I'll bet that 90 percent of the prescriptions here....are for pain-killers....like oxie.

Personally, I'd have issues about this. If I were to enter a grocery....I'm usually thinking food and cat vittles....and not about a pain in my back or diarrhea (you'd think that an attack of diarrhea might lead you to really not desire a grocery store operation). For those of you who have been in a Piggly Wiggly....there just ain't no extra bathroom stalls there and if you got an attack....you got issues. I'm guessing this lasts six months and some folks say no. Course.....nothing wrong with a doctor's office at the lube shop.....as you pull in for a $29 lube job on the chevy.....maybe a quick check-up with the doc's office out back....might be worth the trip. Just a Bama guy thinking.....you know.

Wanted: Bush or Cheney

Out in Brattleboro and Marlboro, Vermont this past week....the folks met for some town council meeting, and without much in the way of troubles for the towns....they voted to put out a warrant for the arrest of George Bush and Dick Cheney.....something related to war crimes....although the town didn't really talk about what laws they have on the books to handle situations like this. So the instruction is to the local cops....extradite the boys to other authorities who may have a reason to prosecute them.

Now....in most towns....when the town council meets....its usually a discussion about potholes, bar licenses, dogs barking or complaints about zoning businesses. An associate of mine once went to a meeting years ago in his town....barely 10,000 folks....where he and five neighbors were complaining about the poor maintenance of the kid's ball field. He had to sit through five or six different complaints before his group got up to the front. One fellow was there to complain about the poor shrub maintenance around town....that a professional trimer ought to be brought in to fix overgrown shrubs (at city expense).

Up in the Brattleboro and Marlboro areas....I'm guessing there just isn't anything much to complain about. The kids probably all leave the area at 18 because there are no jobs. The drug gangs don't come into the region because folks don't have enough money to generate a profit for the gangs. And I'm doubting if there are any booby bars in either town.

In fact....I did some research on Brattleboro. Its a funny thing....the main drinking establishment in town...is the McNeill's Brewery, who make their own brew. The curious thing about some comments listed for McNeill's....is that the primary attendees....are hippys, ex-hippys, lawyers, and local bankers. I sat there....thinking of Ripley thoughts and wisdom....and saying.....hippys, ex-hippys, lawyers and bankers? What kind of crowd is this? Where are the truckers, the hard-drinking fertilizer salesmen, the county extension folks, the Pepsi truck drivers, the fishermen, the hog farmers, the high-school football coaches, the dwarfs, the former pro-wrestling but retired now folks, and finally....the slutty women who drink till they collapse on the floor?

Apparently, in Brattleboro....they don't have folks like that. So then I started to think....do these Hippys, ex-hippys, lawyers and bankers also show up at the town council meetings? I'm betting they do. This could explain alot.

The cops? Well...they were instructed to do something but I'm kinda doubting they really care much about this tasking. They probably went over and had a bud....laughed about city council meetings and then went home. No one is going to take this town serious.

Test Driving....A Bit

So the best we can say....out in the Melbourne area of Australia....this guy came up to a dealer and asked for a test drive of a $37k Honda Accord (the fancy version). The dealer handed him the keys and this was on Friday night. The guy was picked up on Thursday....six days later....in the outback of Australia. They figure he drove 1,988 miles in six days.

There wasn't much of a explanation from the dude. Cops were a bit surprised on the distance driven...meaning that the guy drove at least 300 miles per day...at least six hours you can figure on average.

The cops say the charges will be rather simple....unlawful use and unlawful possession. I'm guessing a max of six months in jail, and probably less. I'm guessing the dealer might be a bit more careful in who he loans his cars out to in the future.

Mobile, France

Ifing you were a Boeing management guru...preparing this weekend for the big complaint against the Air Force award of the tanker contract to EADS...the first thing you'd want to do is make sure every knows that the construction site for converting the regular planes into Air Force tankers....is in Mobile, France.

Yep....there in the heart of Mobile, France....folks speak a different language. Its not clearly understandable for folks from Chicago or Seattle. Also...folks in Mobile, France drink Bud and eat alot of shrimp. These folks also are into a racing thing called NASCAR. These are the folks who hunt and fish for hobbies. These folks like to drive pick-ups and go to drive-in theaters. Yep...those folks from Mobile, France...aren't your typical Americans....ifing I were a Boeing employee talking.

It is rather silly for Boeing to behave this way. The Air Force this time went way out of their way to show impartial choose. They had oversight at every angle. They refused to toss aside their checklists. The Air Force at the end of the day...knew the better deal...which was more costly...but the better tanker.

So the complaint will be lodged by Friday of next week. Folks expect alot of congressional interest and meetings...kinda like them steroid meetings with Mr. Clemons. But at the end of the day....this might clear through and get done. When it becomes apparent that a fair portion of Boeing tanker parts are going to be manufactured outside of the US....folks will ask more stupid questions, and congress will quietly sit on their hands.

At the end of this mess...Mobile, Alabama (not France), will proceed to finish up tankers for the Air Force....and we will be mighty proud of that.

More than You Expect

So this week, National Geographic....amongst their rare occassions of publishing 4-star articles not related to global warming...did a interesting bit on smart animals. They gave two examples.

First, there was the African gray parrot who learned to speak over 100 words (count up to seven), and actually was able to reason and think. The bird, Alex....sadly died at the age of 32.....having spent his entire life with a scientist whose chief purpose in life for Alex was to learn. Some birds might have been a bit upset....but Alex seemed to enjoy the attention and startled a number of the brilliant minds in the world. The idea of a animal learning to actually count....probably shocked them.

The second animal....Rico....was a featured guest in 2001 on Wetten Dass (a German Saturday night gameshow). The funny thing....is that I actually watched Rico that night and remember the whole thing. Rico is a border collie whose owner had taught him to recognize 200 play-toys. So they laid them out on this huge bed-like covering, and the owner proceeded to announce toy after toy. Rico would go to the bed and pick up the toy and retrieve....every single time.

Rico, during this appearance, amazed some folks over at the Max Plank University. They were curious just how he was taught and what the gimmick was. The only gimmick that might exist is that this was a border collie, which is an exceptional breed for obsession. They only want to excel and look good in front of the master...which means they will do just about anything the master asks.

My dad became obsessed with border collies after I left home....and over the last fifteen years....has probably owned six of them. Every one of them displayed tremendous intelligence. Five of six though....have met a untimely end....either through chasing cars or a farming accident. Currently....the only female border collie he has had....Jacky....has survived two years now....and has shown no "bad" habits. She might make it to twelve years or more. The dog is absolutely open to learning tricks or commands. Even having a cat walk from the carport to the barn....means a herding situation which the cat hates.

I am a believer in this intelligence of animals and that we have barely grasped the full impact. I think a guy who was a bit dedicated....could train a dog within the first year of life to five hundred commands easily. But it has to be a border collie. This is the only dog capable of such intelligence.