Monday, 7 July 2008

The Hitler Head Dude

Madame Tussaud's wax museum in Berlin decided it'll be neat to have a Hitler wax figure in their collection....so they spent months on this figure. They were going to put it on display this weekend. Apparently....about five to ten minutes into opening the museum up to the public that morning....some dude came up and whacked off the head to Hitler.....with the museum guard trying his best to save the wax figure but must have stumbled and then the whole thing was done in six seconds.

The amusing part about this entire episode....as we all came to learn on Sunday evening as the news spilled the whole episode.....was this idiot who whacked off the head.....was a Hartz 4 member.....meaning "loser". In Germany today, the Hartz 4 program is where you've been unemployed for such a length....that you basically go onto this welfare program that barely pays your heat, your electricity, and $575 roughly for a couple to survive off. Once you look at the amount....you start wondering why a guy remains on such a program.....but across Germany.....we've got this group who've established themselves as longterm members of Hartz 4. They have no intention of working....they just hang out.

So as this news bit came across on Sunday night....the term "loser" immediately hit everyone's mind and they immediately labeled this guy as such. Whatever fame he thought he was going to gain.....drained out real quick.

The question even came to some guys today....how a guy who is surviving off $575 a month for pocket money (thats for two, but if you are one by yourself....its around $425 a month) for your food and pocket money.....that includes booze, smokes, cellphone costs and daily newspapers.....so how does a guy pay almost $20 for a entry fee for the museum?

The museum apparently has been hard at work today...."reheading" Hitler and they think he'll be back on display by this coming weekend....so it wasn't a serious beheading that Hitler suffered. The question will be security.....so I'm guessing they are acquiring some Plexiglas material and probably encasing Hitler deep into the stuff....to protect from some future "loser" who might attack the display.

As for the jail situation for the "loser"? Some folks think he has assault charges (getting past the guard and "pushing" them).....and destruction of private property. So they are figuring one year in jail....probably. Although maybe they could just rehab the guy and make him actually work....but then that wouldn't be right to treat a "loser" like that.

As for the Hitler wax figure.....its hard to keep a good wax figure down....he'll rise again....and again....and again. Thats the neat thing about wax.

Bulldozer Welfare

This weekend....the story from got some minor notice but likely most of you didn't really catch this.

Apparently, Ammi-dang-ding-dong tasked his boys to dig 320,000 graves for the impending US deaths as we "attack" Iran.

The amusing thing.....as you read this story....all of the graves are in far-off districts and as far out as you can possibly get. Apparently, they paid up every bulldozer operator in the countryside in some welfare-style method to just start digging and had some magic number they told the press about.

I can pretty much see a typical Iranian bulldozer operator....holding out his hand....and quoting a huge amount of money and some government arguing about just digging a 3-foot pit.....and the dozer guy is quoting some offical local document saying the pit has to be nine foot deep. The deeper of course.....the more digging required and the more the dozer idiot makes off this deal. They'll waste three weeks digging what could have been done in sixteen hours.

So all of these dozer guys are smiling to the bank as they deposit this welfare check of sorts.....digging stupid pits for Ammi-dang-ding-dong.

The curious thing....is that none of these are near Tehran.....thus Ammi-dang-ding-dong is showing that the lousy Americans will never get that close.

The second curious thing....there are NO pits or graves dug whatsover for Iranian troops. As 320,000 Americans die on the Iranian fields.....no Iranians will ever die. Sounds good on paper, I must admit.

Then we have the last curious thing....if you were in the Iranian army.....watching these dozer guys dig these graves.....you'd start to get worried....thinking this might happen. Guys in the third world military structure.....don't like excitement like this. They've signed up to quickly get their time out of the way, and really don't want any issues like this war business.

The dozer guys are the ones who are happy and likely sipping lots of whiskey over this deal. Somewhere down the line....five or six years from now....another welfare dozer program will come up.....to fill all of the stupid Ammi-dang-ding-dong grave holes. This is where dozer operators will smile as they make money going, and coming. Not a bad life for a dozer dude in Iran.

Our Bama Dude

Our Bama dude in the office had a pretty fair weekend.

Around Wednesday of last week....he got his new cellphone from the service he has.....valued at $750.....puts it on the living room table...where his new Scottish Terror (terrier) got ahold of it. Three hours later...the terror has chewed the thing into a mess. Our bud can't say a word....the dog is about five months old and a royal terror. He's hoping the insurance guy will be understanding.

Then on Sunday, his son (from the old girlfriend), who is five....got with the older brother (nine) and got ahold a boomerang. The two stood in the backyard of a farm house area....between two outdoor restaurant or wine-tasting residences. Sure enough....they tossed the Aussuie stick and it came down on some dude drinking tasty wine in the back of the next yard....whacking him pretty good in the head. Apparently he was kinda understanding but the old gal in charge of the place is pi$$ed and wants action (then our bud learned that junior had lit a stink bomb or two last weekend in her residence).

Then last night.....he got called at midnight to come out to the local field...some deer got hit by a car and wandered back into the vineyard area. He, as the official hunter of the town, had to find the deer in the dark....shoot it....then skin it for the meat locker of the village. He found the deer around 1AM, and it was 3AM before he got back home and cleaned up to get some sleep.

This guy needs a dozen rabbits feet or something.