Saturday, 12 July 2008

The Duck Committte

Late yesterday....news started to buzz around Washington DC. The Capital Police closed off a section near the US Capital building after 30 birds and ducks (notice I made a difference between ducks there) were discovered dead...STONE-COLD dead....in the reflecting pool by the Capital building.

Head chief of the Capitol patrol....Phil Morse....spoke to FOX news about this terrible fowl situation. He believes that this reflecting pool....is over-chlorinated. Reportedly, tests are being conducted on the water...with the cops keeping folks away from the front of the building. Even the fire department was involved in this episode. Reports indicate that the first dead fowl were discovered around 10:30 in the morning.

FOX news didn't ask any further questions...which you'd normally expect. Could this be a terrorist plot by Jihad boys or mad Iranians? Could this be a plot by the far right extremists in America? Could this be a plot by angry Mexicans? Could this be a plot by the liberal left in America? Could this be a plot by Madonna and her damn Yankees? Could this be a plot by Jehovah's witnesses? Could this be a plot by the Duck Foundation of America?

I sat and pondered this situation....and immediately realized that this is a Karl Rove invention. Dead ducks....dead birds....near the capital building? Only Karl would come up with this idea.

I suspect that a US congressional committee will immediately form next week and began to grill Karl over his involvement in the duck affair. Karl will be dragged in handcuffs before the mighty duck committee, to explain his liaison and how Bush was ultimately behind the killing of the fowl. Karl will likely wink at the stupid congressmen and then suggest that Cheney...the mighty Cheney himself....was the culprit. Then the committee will suggest that Cheny appear before them....which he responds that he will gladly do so....but only in his duck-hunters outfit...and with his shotgun. The committee chairman will freeze at that moment....knowing full well what Cheney intends to do at this meeting.

The duck episode will quietly be pushed to the side and forgotten...in interest of preserving peace in the house of representatives.