Monday, 8 September 2008

Mighy Change

In the past week....this McCain fellow has suddenly fallen onboard (note: "fallen") with the Obama phrase of "CHANGE". It is confusing....I figured the McCain phrase would be "NO CHANGE", but he decided to confuse everyone...by confirming his preference to CHANGE. All of this....is rather confusing...especially since they won't tell what they want to CHANGE. So I'm going to make some radial suggestions for American CHANGE.

1. Change cars. This would force every American to quickly size up what he has and just get a new car.....preferably Chevey, Ford or GM (No Japanese cars allowed under this change). It would pump up the economy and make all of you feel better.

2. Change fishing poles. This would create a sudden wave and economical frenzy at Wal-Mart as everyone rushed in...to get a new pole.

3. Change septic tanks. This would require a bit of backyard work, and maybe challenge most of the septic tank salesmen in America. The positive is that we'd all start fresh on this major problem.

4. Change dog food. We'd challenge every dog in America by doing this.

5. Change rifles. Most guys would be happy about this....but they'd want a precision weapon and then they wouldn't want to spend $800.

6. Change toilet paper. This would be an easy act, and maybe change our prospective about those precious two minutes each morning. Of course, it might be sand-paper style toilet paper, and ruin our entire day.

7. Change beer. Normally, I'd say this was a bad idea, unless you were sipping Ole Milwaukee or some zero-percent alcohol beer.

8. Change barbers. This is a drastic point because most guys just aren't going to change....unless its a cheaper barber, or they offer real men's magazines for reading material.

9. Change girlfriends. This would be a bit drastic. Some guys might agree....but only if the new gal is into bowling, NASCAR, and watching Barney Miller repeats.

10. Change churches. This might difficult for most Baptists. If we are talking folks into converting over to Jehovah or to the Catholic church....there's going to be trouble.

11. Change underwear. If a guy has grown up with jockey underwear....it'll be a hard sell, but maybe he just never has seen the light.

12. Change lazy-boy recliners. Its acceptable...as long as we are getting a newer model.

So I'm advocating change....except unlike Obama or McCain....I'm telling what kinda change folks really need.

The Mighty Navy?


Today, Chavez of Venezuela announced that his mighty navy, and that navy of Russia's.....will hold a major naval exercise in a few months. The curious thing that I sat and pondered about this "massive" announcement.....will the US navy bring out its rescue crews and stand by to pick up these poor Russian sailor dudes when their boats start to sink? I'm thinking it'd be mighty kind of us, and certainly the only help that any of these poor dimwitted folks could ever depend upon. I'd hand the poor rescued Russian dude a Budweiser, a Marlboro, and voter registration card.

Blues Day

Interesting day on base. We have a new four-star in charge of the Air Force and he highly recommended late last week to go back to the old standard of requiring everyone to wear their blue uniform (not the camouflaged outfit that everyone prefers), every Monday. So about 80 percent of the folks on Ramstein today, wore their blues. The rest....because of nasty and dirty duties.....still got to wear their BDU's.

I had to laugh....when you realize the impact of this. First....alot of folks just didn't keep their blues up to date. Then you have the issue of it "fitting". You see....with the blues....if you are chubby or a bit on the heavy side....it shows drastically. So as I walked around....there were the chunky gals and the larger guys. It'll obviously draw attention and force all of these commanders to think that we need more disciplinary matters on fatty folks.

The other curious matter that I saw was the females who had the four-inch heels....which aren't authorized, but the three-inch are. Its a status thing....to attract attention....and see how far you can get away with such heels.

Finally, frankly....blues simply don't fit. Whichever model the Air Force uses...must be Mr. Perfect on the body level....because the other 98 percent of folks just don't look right. The uniform just can't be modified to fit the forty-four types of body style. So naturally....they all look bad.