Thursday, 2 October 2008

Chinese Gymnists Ok

After a lengthly investigation, the Olympic folks decided today.....that the young female Chinese are not underage, and thus no rules were violated. These kind Olympic investigators were able to find not enough evidence to prove everything.

I sat and paused over this episode....after having seen the gals perform, and strongly questioning their age myself.

Eventually, I found a Chinese computer software that helped me realize that everything was ok. With this special software.....you put in your birthday and year born.....and the software tells you what age you really are.....Chinese-style.

For example, when I was actually 13.....I was really a mature 16 in Chinese years. When I was 18, I was very mature 28 Chinese-years old. When I was 28 years old.....then things started to reverse slightly and I was really 35 Chinese-years old.

Then the interesting factor on this special software kicked in. When I turned 40.....I was 34 Chinese-years old. So today.....as I border almost 50 years old.....in Chinese years.....I'm only 31. The more I play with this Chinese software.....the better I feel.

And the best part is when I'm 65.....in Chinese-years....I'll only be 29. Man, I like those Chinese guys and their methods of determining youth or age.

Bailout Equals More Crappy Movies?


What you didn't know.....again if you reviewed the 400-odd pages of the bailout deal which has yet to pass.....is a little deduction. A movie producer will be able to immediately deduct all production costs up to $15 million, regardless of the movie's total budget....and it could be the most unprofitable movie possible....he'll still get the credit. The change also extends the existing credit, which was due to expire this year, to December 2009.

What will this have to do with Wall Street? Still no one can really say. Will this save America? Not exactly.....but those of you who were waiting for Baywatch, The Movie.....your chances are rapidly increasing hour by hour. Thanks to our wonderful senators....who can't read what they vote on.

And the best part? We get at least 100 extra movies next year....which are crap or almost-crap.

Bailout Equals Global Warming?

So on page 180 of the Bailout Plan (version 2.0), which at this moment....has not passed....is a fascinating bit of writing.

SEC. 117. CARBON AUDIT OF THE TAX CODE.
13 (a) STUDY.—The Secretary of the Treasury shall
14 enter into an agreement with the National Academy of
15 Sciences to undertake a comprehensive review of the Inter
16nal Revenue Code of 1986 to identify the types of and
17 specific tax provisions that have the largest effects on car
18bon and other greenhouse gas emissions and to estimate
19 the magnitude of those effects.
20 (b) REPORT.—Not later than 2 years after the date
21 of enactment of this Act, the National Academy of
22 Sciences shall submit to Congress a report containing the
23 results of study authorized under this section.

I sat there for several minute reading the page and thinking.....what the hell does this have to do with the bailout of Wall Street or umpteen different investment groups? I poured a drink, and thought more about it. I poured a double, and thought about it. I poured another double and thought about. I poured yet another double and thought about it.

I guess I could make myself fairly drunk and just accept it....but that would be the only way that I could accept it. So what fool would vote and accept this? A bunch of senators.....but the other fools? I get the impression that these dimwits don't read anything. They just meet.....sip whiskey and then vote. Other than shaking hands and discussing new hookers in the DC area.....there isn't much else to think about.

Personally, I think the House vote on this ought to fail.....and then I'd force the fools to meet and write a 8 page document...not a 450 page document with various global warming features. And I'd make every single fool read the document aloud before they can vote.