Thursday, 6 August 2009

Jefferson County, Bama

For those who aren't from Bama....you probably don't know much of Jefferson county. It's the home front of Birmingham. To be kinda honest....corruption amongst the county commission and the city council is pretty much an affair you can observe on a daily basis. Incompetence as well.

So they went out....the county folks anyway....and signed up for a $4 billion (almost) water and waste treatment system. Yes, it was way more than they could afford. Yes, it was way bigger than necessary. And yes, the county folks who signed the deal....understood little about who pays for such things.

Jefferson county is mostly bankrupt...one way or another.

The county commission folks tried to pass a occupational tax. This was all fixed up and likely to bring in around $75-odd million a year. If you don't understand an occupational tax.....a light lesson in how things work in life.

Imagine you are a county commission guy, and you screw up badly in life and need money....but you live in a county where good jobs that exist (the ones that pay $50k or more)....belong to folks who don't live in the county.

Imagine this group of folks who view Jefferson county as a cesspool and loaded with crime and corruption. So they make a decision to live one county....and maybe even two counties over, and take the interstate into work each day. It's a great place because the interstate extends into four directions.

These folks pay property taxes in their home county, and pay state taxes, but don't pay a penny to the Jefferson county commission. They work there....but they don't live there.

So the commission realizes that they've got live bait. I would imagine that almost sixty percent of the big-money folks.....live beyond Jefferson county.

So you go after these folks. Don't worry....these folks can't vote in Jefferson county. So you make every single one of them angry....it don't matter. They can't vote against you.

These folks can live as far as they want.....but it don't matter. Their job is what the tax is based on. Face it....in Birmingham....companies of such a magnitude....aren't going to pack up and move. The VA hospital, the court house, the lawyers, etc.....they all are stuck in Birmingham. New businesses moving into Birmingham? Ha. What idiot would bring his business into a crime cesspool?

So the boys are going to clear around $80-odd million now......based on some great help from the Bama state legislation bunch. The occupational tax is pretty much a done deal now.

The amusing thing here? You pay taxes to someone that you can't vote for or against. Taxation without representation. Yep.....somewhere....in the midst of your vast memory.....you remember this phrase for some reason.

Course, what you could do....since the local guys are this stupid...is go in and register....in Jefferson county.....as a homeless person (like the other thousand guys who already do this anyway), and then vote in 2012. Jefferson county invited trouble....and maybe they deserve it.

Flag@Whitehouse.Gov

The White House has started a nifty way for people to report things...mostly those things which bother them the most....lies on universal health care. You can help to report your friends, neighbors, relatives, and even networks....by merely mailing a email over to flag@whitehouse.gov.

So what they want....is for you to report things. Naturally, something like this could grow and get awful damn big. It also would begin to catch various things which probably don't really fit well into their original idea.

I sat and pondered this for a fair while. So finally, I wrote a Bama parody of sorts....which should be emailed by some Bama fellow.

A Parody:

Dear Mr. President

I'm worried about my neighbor. We live in a dry county and I've seen him driving to the state line on several occasions and then come back to unload cardboard boxes into his garage. I believe he's bringing sinful booze back into God's country.

I'm worried about my neighbor. He's been recently seen with trailer trash women from over near Boaz. He tells his wife that he's off to the VFW meeting, but we all know he's hanging out with trailer trash women.

I'm worried about my neighbor. He was seen last week with a Mississippi State football shirt (not the traditional Auburn shirt). We are worried that he may have gone to the dark side.

I'm worried about my neighbor. He did the "cash for clunkers" deal....swapping his old Ford 150 in for a Toyota car. We think he's becoming anti-American.

I'm worried about my neighbor. He hasn't eaten steak in six weeks. He brags often about salad and fruit. We think he's gone off the deep end and become a vegetarian.

I'm worried about my neighbor. He's gone to watching reruns of Lawrence Welk and T J Hooker. He quotes Greek philosophers all the time.

I'm worried about my neighbor. He got drunk yesterday. He was weeping and crying for hours. Then he finally came up and admitted that he voted for you in the last election. He says if he just had free universal health care...he could rehab and maybe recover in time for the 2012 election.

I'm worried about my neighbor...that we won't get him into rehab in time to make him "right".