Saturday, 23 January 2010

A Warm Comfy Bed

As most of you know....I read alot of British newspapers online. Today....there came this odd story.

There is a Holiday Inn (the London Kensington Hotel)...which started up this free service this week. It is a one-of-a-kind...at least as far as I know. They will offer a free five-minute "human bed-warming service". This involves, if you call them up....a staff member who will run up to your room....dressed in a all-in-one sleeper suit (some bunny suit)....and they jump into your bed while you stand there....and heat it up while you wait.

So you are sitting there....like me....and pondering this.

The thing is...if you've ever been to the UK....they keep their rooms 'damn-cold' and you turn the heat on as you arrive to the room. So if you get there around 6PM...even by 9PM....the bed can still be a bit chilled.

In the old days....folks used to take around this stupid hot-water bottle...fill it up....and toss it into the bed for ten minutes to get it warmed a bit. Naturally....none of us today carry such a bottle.

I sat there...pondering over this. Standing there....late....tired....and this 50-year old hotel employee gal..."Jessica"...arrives in some bunny outfit to heat the bed to the proper temperature. For some reason....I have problems in seeing this as logical. Naturally, "Jessica" will be chatting away about London affairs, the newest bit on stage in London, the red bus accident by Piccadilly Circus today, the terrible fog rolling in, the terrible shows on BBC tonight, and how she came to divorce "Roger", her fourth husband.

Eventually....I'll be coming to London for one purpose and one purpose only...naturally staying at the Kensington Hotel....and requesting "Jessica" because I really enjoy the five-minute chat more than the heating of the bed. You see...when people travel alone...there is always this moment when a brief exchange of small talk somehow relaxes you. It makes you feel less alone. And I suspect....people will come to find this bed-warming experience to be more about interaction and chat...than bed-warming.

This is an odd thing to offer, and it just might be a million-dollar attraction.

And yes, I realize some of you have this lusty thought in your mind about bed-warming and one-piece bunny suits...but remember, these are Brits...you know. Unless Emma Peel from the Avengers arrives for the bed-warming...I don't think you have much to worry about.

Union Joe & Banker Bob

It has been roughly 48 hours since the dramatic news that the Supreme Court struck down the law over limits of business and union contributions to political campaigns. I will offer this observation.

First, while everyone is running around the media and telling of you of the impending troubles of this dramatic change....actually, over the years...both the unions and businesses have figured out a dozen various ways of getting past this law, and dumping plenty of money to their hired hand or against their sworn enemy. I realize this is a shocker to some of you.

If you walk back to Hillary's election effort...there in the midst of it...was this Korean family...who were each writing various checks in the thousands to Hillary's campaign effort. We aren't talking about a measly $500 either. Comments were made by various news analysts when this came out and it looked awful suspicious....like some high name Korean corporation effort...but nothing ever came of an investigation.

So while the news analysts of CNN, Fox and ABC run in circles telling of the woes to come this fall...I'm basically going to make the suggestion that the money spent this fall...likely equals mostly what the average amount was always. The banks, the corporations, and the unions...will dump the tricks they used...and go back to direct deposit. That's it.

Now...if there were more cash...not that I would suggest that...but who would benefit?

This is the question that you won't hear by CNN.

Cash is no good unless you openly spend it. So you are in the midst of a campaign...running a good show....and here comes the teacher's union to help you out with $300k. You can't hold it...you have to spend it.

So here are your options. First, you could hire some big-name associate from DC to come in and help run your show...and pay him his $30k a week that he demands (note the fact that big name guys from DC showing up in Tulsa probably won't be worth a penny in effort). You could walk into the local newspaper...which probably is bankrupt and all happy to see you with money in your hand. You could walk into the local AM station and do two hundred commercials in the midst of NCAA football games. You could even walk into Channel 9 of Boise with the $300k and bring smiles to the manager's face.

So basically...it's political stimulus.

I realize you are freaking out from this suggestion...but really and truly, it's stimulus with newspapers, TV, radio and big-name pretender political experts. So as you sit there and think of this as stimulus....then you start to believe in it as being a good thing. Because all stimulus is good....right? Well...we've been told this...even if it was shovel-ready stimulus....it was still good.

So as CNN, Fox, and the Today Show geeks go and chat like wild monkey's on this topic....you can sit there....resting and reassured...that it's really more stimulus for America...and feel good.

Face it...for you personally....does it matter if you see some political figure fifty times in a month on TV or three times on TV? So as Union Joe and Banker Bob dump the money this fall...don't get too upset. Nothing much really changed. You've still got the same ole corrupt political figures that you had before.