Saturday, 23 January 2010

The Ellie Light's Problem (Plural)

I often find stupid stories...that make you ponder...so here is a letter from a Philly newspaper...19 Jan 2010:

A year ago, if we'd read that employers were hiring again, that health-care legislation was proceeding without a bump, that Afghanistan suddenly was a nice place to take kids, we'd have known we were being lied to. We knew the problems President Obama inherited wouldn't go away overnight.

During his campaign, Obama clearly said that an economy that took eight years to break couldn't be fixed in a year, that Afghanistan was a graveyard of empires, and wouldn't be an easy venture.

Candidate Obama didn't feed us happy talk, which is why we elected him. He never said America could solve our health-care, economic and security problems without raising the deficit. He talked of hard choices, of government taking painful and contentious first steps toward fixing problems that can't be left for another day.

Right after the election, we seemed to grasp this. We understood that companies would be happy to squeeze more work out of frightened employees, and would be slow to hire.

We understood that the banks were lying when they said they'd share their recovery. That a national consensus on health care wouldn't come easily. Candidate Obama never claimed that his proposed solutions would work flawlessly right out of the box, and we respected him for that.

Today, the president is being attacked as if he'd promised that our problems would wash off in the morning. He never did. It's time for Americans to realize that governing is hard work, and that a president can't just wave a magic wand and fix everything.

Ellie Light

Philadelphia

So, here is the curious thing. Ellie Light wrote this and was from Philly. Strangely enough....over the next couple of days....Ellie Light also wrote the same letter and had it appear from thirty-odd newspapers in the US...each time stating another home town which she was from. Naturally, it was the town where the newspaper was based.

How do you accomplish something like this in terms of getting a letter published in a newspaper? Well....I've written around five letters of such note in my life....and in each case....the newspaper called me or sent an email to ensure I was who I said I was.

The odds of getting your letter in thirty-odd papers within a seven-day period? This is another issue.....it can take up seven days minimum and maybe up to fourteen to actually see it published.

Here is a moment of pondering. Go and ask each newspaper to pull out the original letter and the address on the letter......I'm prepared to bet that none of the thirty newspapers can do this. Yes, NONE of the newspapers will be able to identify the address or email or show evidence that they ever called or checked on the reality of the person.

I'll also ponder this.....that Ellie Light is really living out of one house....not thirty different ones in thirty cities.

Finally, I'd ponder that the guys who run these thirty-odd newspapers.....probably aren't subscribing to any brand of ethical thinking.

As for the real Ellie Light? She's probably a cigar-smoking Tusla truck-driver, who likely six-times married, an Elvis fan, and does needle-point. I'd really like to believe that....and not that she resides in DC and works for some political agenda team who has access to thirty-odd newspapers who don't ask questions.

A Warm Comfy Bed

As most of you know....I read alot of British newspapers online. Today....there came this odd story.

There is a Holiday Inn (the London Kensington Hotel)...which started up this free service this week. It is a one-of-a-kind...at least as far as I know. They will offer a free five-minute "human bed-warming service". This involves, if you call them up....a staff member who will run up to your room....dressed in a all-in-one sleeper suit (some bunny suit)....and they jump into your bed while you stand there....and heat it up while you wait.

So you are sitting there....like me....and pondering this.

The thing is...if you've ever been to the UK....they keep their rooms 'damn-cold' and you turn the heat on as you arrive to the room. So if you get there around 6PM...even by 9PM....the bed can still be a bit chilled.

In the old days....folks used to take around this stupid hot-water bottle...fill it up....and toss it into the bed for ten minutes to get it warmed a bit. Naturally....none of us today carry such a bottle.

I sat there...pondering over this. Standing there....late....tired....and this 50-year old hotel employee gal..."Jessica"...arrives in some bunny outfit to heat the bed to the proper temperature. For some reason....I have problems in seeing this as logical. Naturally, "Jessica" will be chatting away about London affairs, the newest bit on stage in London, the red bus accident by Piccadilly Circus today, the terrible fog rolling in, the terrible shows on BBC tonight, and how she came to divorce "Roger", her fourth husband.

Eventually....I'll be coming to London for one purpose and one purpose only...naturally staying at the Kensington Hotel....and requesting "Jessica" because I really enjoy the five-minute chat more than the heating of the bed. You see...when people travel alone...there is always this moment when a brief exchange of small talk somehow relaxes you. It makes you feel less alone. And I suspect....people will come to find this bed-warming experience to be more about interaction and chat...than bed-warming.

This is an odd thing to offer, and it just might be a million-dollar attraction.

And yes, I realize some of you have this lusty thought in your mind about bed-warming and one-piece bunny suits...but remember, these are Brits...you know. Unless Emma Peel from the Avengers arrives for the bed-warming...I don't think you have much to worry about.

The Last Tonight Show

I sat and watched the end of the Tonight Show last night....it was the final for Conan O'Brien.

For me...this is pretty much a huge joke. Up until this month...I hadn't watched the Tonight Show in twenty years....more or less. I was never captivated by Jay Leno, and Conan wasn't that appealing.

The funny thing...is that over the ten odd shows I've watched this month of Conan...they were fairly good, and I had a good laugh.

So this amusingly change occurs. The network had Jay to retire...but they really didn't want to retire him. So now, we've got this amazing return of Jay...and the same worry that Jay probably doesn't have more than two or three years before retirement is mentioned once again. Who replaces Jay? It becomes some comedy of errors again.

I suspect that by the end of 2010...Conan is on with Fox....and carrying most of the 15 to 25 year old crowd with him. Jay? He'll lose maybe a quarter of the crowd as they vacate and find other things to watch....heck, maybe even Fox News or the Comedy Central crowd.

Do I care? No...after 10 at night...other than some news show...I'm kinda finished and probably sleeping. So this drama that unfolded...is finished, and we can go back to what we were doing before.

The Obama Refocus

As the election this week kinda shifted the sands of Americana...most every news analyst came around to tell you of this "progressive" shift coming to the Obama team. This election, amounted to some wake-up call...at least they keep repeating this. Course, they did mention that this wake-up call usually came mid-way through the first term...and not at the end of first twelve months.

Is this moment of magnificent change for this administration?

No...I'm really not betting on it. But it does start to become interesting.

Let us assume now that health care is dead (which is kinda stupid but heck...all those weeks and months they had...and it was all wasted effort), and let us assume this global warming legislation is dead too...and pretty much another dozen things were supposed to come up early this spring with the 60 members of the Democratic party in the Senate to help make this "stamped" and done...are dead too.

So now what? I suspect that Pelosi and Reid are going to sit there and really not pile much of anything on the table to work. Election efforts go into forth gear by June....so no will have interest in anything.

The President? He will chat about urgent and big things. This week, it was the terrible Wall Street folks and the bankers. Next week...it'll probably be the energy companies. Next month...probably the internet companies. But with no political interest in the senate or house....this is mostly just a "dump-on-them" speech each week to reassure the American people that the President is fighting against the internal evil that faces us.

With the help of a few news folks....the message will carry through and it'll look like a bold new message and fight ahead. But the truth is....it's a long hot dry season for the rest of 2010...and frankly...nothing much is going to happen. Heck, we might even get to a point where VP Joe comes out and does a 30-minute interview on the Today Show and cooks up Delaware lobster on the air...just impress folks that something is going on.

I am reminded of the Presidents of the 1920s....that might have gotten mentioned in your local newspaper maybe once a week. A state governor was lucky to get mentioned once or twice a week...but it was mostly the opening of some bridge or some hospital. America survived with virtually one quarter of one percent of the amount of news that we get today. The funny thing is...we were fairly happy with that amount of news. And if the Tigers got an entire page of news over one game that went 10 innings and they won....well...that was probably the top news of the day for the average guy in Michigan.

So let the refocus free, and let's sit back and enjoy the entertainment....we've always got reruns of Baywatch to watch if we aren't entertained enough.

Union Joe & Banker Bob

It has been roughly 48 hours since the dramatic news that the Supreme Court struck down the law over limits of business and union contributions to political campaigns. I will offer this observation.

First, while everyone is running around the media and telling of you of the impending troubles of this dramatic change....actually, over the years...both the unions and businesses have figured out a dozen various ways of getting past this law, and dumping plenty of money to their hired hand or against their sworn enemy. I realize this is a shocker to some of you.

If you walk back to Hillary's election effort...there in the midst of it...was this Korean family...who were each writing various checks in the thousands to Hillary's campaign effort. We aren't talking about a measly $500 either. Comments were made by various news analysts when this came out and it looked awful suspicious....like some high name Korean corporation effort...but nothing ever came of an investigation.

So while the news analysts of CNN, Fox and ABC run in circles telling of the woes to come this fall...I'm basically going to make the suggestion that the money spent this fall...likely equals mostly what the average amount was always. The banks, the corporations, and the unions...will dump the tricks they used...and go back to direct deposit. That's it.

Now...if there were more cash...not that I would suggest that...but who would benefit?

This is the question that you won't hear by CNN.

Cash is no good unless you openly spend it. So you are in the midst of a campaign...running a good show....and here comes the teacher's union to help you out with $300k. You can't hold it...you have to spend it.

So here are your options. First, you could hire some big-name associate from DC to come in and help run your show...and pay him his $30k a week that he demands (note the fact that big name guys from DC showing up in Tulsa probably won't be worth a penny in effort). You could walk into the local newspaper...which probably is bankrupt and all happy to see you with money in your hand. You could walk into the local AM station and do two hundred commercials in the midst of NCAA football games. You could even walk into Channel 9 of Boise with the $300k and bring smiles to the manager's face.

So basically...it's political stimulus.

I realize you are freaking out from this suggestion...but really and truly, it's stimulus with newspapers, TV, radio and big-name pretender political experts. So as you sit there and think of this as stimulus....then you start to believe in it as being a good thing. Because all stimulus is good....right? Well...we've been told this...even if it was shovel-ready stimulus....it was still good.

So as CNN, Fox, and the Today Show geeks go and chat like wild monkey's on this topic....you can sit there....resting and reassured...that it's really more stimulus for America...and feel good.

Face it...for you personally....does it matter if you see some political figure fifty times in a month on TV or three times on TV? So as Union Joe and Banker Bob dump the money this fall...don't get too upset. Nothing much really changed. You've still got the same ole corrupt political figures that you had before.