Wednesday, 25 August 2010

Alan and the 310 Million


"We've reached a point now where it's like a milk cow with 310 million tits!"

Words spoken by Alan Simpson, who got put onto the President's panel of fixing the deficit. Alan, for those who don't remember...is a fair-minded Republican guy from out in the western portion of the US.

In using this comment of the milk cow comparison....he was basically describing social security. You can pause there and think about his words...it is a bit amusing and truthful.

It took just a couple of hours for folks, especially Democrats, to get all upset and angry. Then the old folks jumped on the wagon and said they were real upset about the 'tits' comment. Things by late this afternoon have reached maximum dairy turbo....with folks wanting Alan Simpson removed from the President's deficit commission.

I sat and pondered over this for a while. You have to realize...I'm from Bama and grew up on a farm. My uncle was a 4-star dairy farmer (I always thought rancher was more appropriate but he didn't see it that way). So I understand this dairy chatter business.

Frankly, I'm upset that dairy cows got unfairly tossed into a comparison with social security. It would have been ok if this was about elephants, dolphins or trailer trash ladies....but I personally think Alan crossed the fundamental dairy cow line on this matter. This is a fairly serious matter now.

What can we do? Well...we need hate-crime legislation to protect dairy cows from unfair comparisons. It needs to be spelled out. I believe that I can write a 1,600 page bill and prepare it for Representative Pelosi within three weeks. It would take a spell...but I'm prepared to write a bill that would be totally unreadable and support the protection of dairy cows throughout America.

As for social security? Well....don't worry...it wasn't designed to last a thousand years, and if you had real thoughts about investing...it'd be best to invest in cows (preferably beef and not those silly dairy cows).

(This was not sponsored by the Alabama Dairy Cow Association or the Alabama Beef Association)

Just a Conversation

I had a conversation this week with a cable guy in the Pentagon. He's about to purchase a house. It's a short-sell deal, meaning that the owner in bankrupt and the bank is real desperate to make this sell.

The deal? The house was worth $420-odd thousand a couple of years ago when the bankrupt owner bought it (she's a Air Force colonel). The housing market went down, and the house is today marketed at $255k roughly. The bank wanted that much anyway.

My associate viewed the house. He admits he has some things that need repair, and he started a bid of $235k. That didn't work. Eventually, he got up around $245k and wanted the bank to throw in a special loan deal. The bank has kinda agreed on $250k and a better loan deal. So they are working this out.

What puzzled me is the AF colonel who is admitting defeat and going to the bankrupt stage. It kills off your loan ability for ten years. You can't even imagine how banks will view this kind of stuff in the 2020 period. They might give you a loan after 2020 but then toss on a fair amount of punishment points to make the loan a miserable experience.

My associate will admit he's getting an exceptional deal, at a great price. It's a bad market. Folks who have the cash and can swing the deal....probably will come out ahead.