Saturday, 4 June 2011

The North Korean Scale of Happiness

In the news today....it's been reported that the Chosun Central TV station (North Korea's one and only network)....came out with a happiness index.

I sat and pondered upon this.  A happiness index out of North Korea.  It's something that the National Republican Party would do....as would the National Democratic Party.  The Catholic Church would likely produce something like this....if the Pope asked them to.

So the index was devised by local North Korean researchers.  The happiest place on Earth?  China.  It's amazing....they got a complete perfect score of '100'.  I suspect the Chinese are a bit thrilled about this, but mostly wondering how you'd arrive at a perfect score.

So right behind China....was North Korea, Cuba, Iran and Venezuela.

I paused at that point.  There was something about these four countries....that just made me think the index might be bogus.

So I kept reading....South Korea actually got around 18 points.  And the US?  Three lousy points.  Bluntly, we are living in a very unhappy place.  We were in 203rd place.  France was ahead of us.  Mexico, Honduras, and even Canada were ahead of us.

I pondered upon this placement of happiness.  Here I am....fifty-two years old....living in the most unhappily place on Earth.  The Krispey Kreme donuts I eat.....they don't help a bit.  The Pabst-Blue Ribbon beer?  Doesn't help.  The Fox News Channel and the CNN folks?  Doesn't help.  Baywatch and Knight Rider reruns?  Doesn't help.  Dominos pizza?  Doesn't help.  Katie Couric and that Matt dude from the Today Show?  Doesn't help.  Clorox and Windex spray?  Doesn't help.  Paris Hilton?  Doesn't help.  Hee Haw, Scooby Doo, and Fantasy Island?  Doesn't help.

I am lost on a sea of unhappiness.  No matter what America does....we will still linger behind Tonga and Pakistan.  The only logical answer?  Well....originally, I thought maybe moving to Cuba would help....but it occurred to me that more Pabst-Blue Ribbon would be the better answer.

The curious thing is that there exists this research team in North Korea who has the job of measuring happiness.  And you have to wonder where exactly they hang out on a Saturday night, what beer they drink, and if they've ever watched the Andy Griffith Show (especially the episode where Barney makes the quote: "Nip it, nip it, nip it").

I'm of the belief that the research team has never traveled beyond the borders of North Korea, and if they were to stop for a brief hour or two in Red Bay, Bama....have a bar-b-q sandwich over at Ezzell's on First Street....they'd likely start to shed a tear or two, and admit while tossing down a Pabst that life might be better than the measly three points they gave Bama.   Heck, we might even edge ahead of those Germans on this scale of happiness.

Simply Observations

To put things into prospective today.....John Edwards says he done things wrong, hurt folks, but sure didn't break the law.  This didn't help to avoid the federal prosecutors charging him up with a $925k payment to his mistress back during the 2008 Presidential race.  The sad thing is this was all campaign funds, which has a federal law or two over them.  So in effect....if convicted....it becomes a felony situation.  If you had to pick a law to do something stupid over....involving your mistress....this is number one in the book.

Jobs did grow great in May....over 54k new jobs.  Strangely enough....McDonalds creates half of the nation's jobs.  Yeah.....a bunch of burger-flipper jobs.  Yeah, that all makes sense.....you know.

Some reporters have said boldly....that as they attempted to follow the Palin bus tour....it was so unplanned....that they (the reporters) had to stop by the side of the road to relieve themselves.  Being from Bama....I kinda wondered what they meant by this as being worthy of reporting it nationally.  Around 250k Bama guys stop daily along side the road...and I doubt that this has been reported much at all since the 1920s when cars got first introduced.

Out in Texas...at the Medina Valley Independent School District....things are flipping almost daily.  Graduation is coming up and typically....there's the mention of "thank God" or "blessings" in graduation speeches.  There's some kid....who is scheduled to graduate....and his mama has gone to court to say that any religious wording at the graduation will bring "irreparable harm" to him.  So a federal judge got involved and then said there were various phrases forbidden to utter at the graduation ceremony.  I read through his orders....kinda wondering what part of the Constitution he'd failed to read.  People stood around in shock after hearing this order.  Then in the last couple of hours....an appeals court has stood up to say that the judge was all wrong, then revoking the orders.  Folks are now pausing for the Supreme Court to likely get dragged into this.  I sat and pondered over this.  First, some imaginary Vulcan guy (sadly) summed this type of situation up pretty good......"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few".  It's not one kid on graduation day....it's a bunch of kids....each with a vastly different view of blessings.  Second in my humble view....if uttering "God bless you" will bring irreparable harm to some kid....he'd best not go to any fine SEC college, work in the US Army, or read up on French history.  If you ask me.....he's already doomed for irreparable harm and had best just barricade himself in mama's house to stay safe from the rest of America.

Finally, this Tony Wiener dude from New York state....who is a representative in the US congress....has turned this entire week into a crotch battle of sorts.  He first said the underwear picture sent to some young gal's Twitter account wasn't his.  Then admitted it might be.  He won't allow the cops to get into this all. And he spent almost an entire day this week....doing interview after interview over the crotch picture.  All in all....just my humble opinion....but we didn't have this problem prior to the 1990s with representatives or senators sharing crotch pictures.  The guys from the 1930s....the worst you could say about them is heavy drinking and boozing.  The guys from the 1920?  Maybe they were hanging out in local DC salons too much.  Frankly, Tony needs to get an intern or two.....and stay active and busy in the office....or just start drinking alot.