Today, I had this odd day.
As most of you know....I work in the bowels of the Pentagon. I won't admit the organization but it's safe to say that it's military related. We've had this project going on....to put up new door "swipes". To get into our offices....you have a card and a pin....you swipe the card and toss in the pin to enter. We needed to modernize....so along came this team to "fix" our issues and put us into the modern era.
We have this curious light on the swing-side of each door. So as you punch the button to allow you to exit.....this tiny light....the size of your pinky fingernail....goes red for 3 seconds. This is your one warning....on the outside....that this door is about to swing and could knock you on your ass. Naturally, for Soldiers, Sailors, Marines, and Airmen....this is your warning before you get knocked down. We've had this warning light on the wall by the door for a decade. So folks generally watch as they approach the door....fearing for their life in some manner.
Well....as the maintenance guys put in this upgrade....they disable the light. We came to realize this in the morning and talked to the gal who manages the installation team. It wasn't their job....to make the light work....as we were told. We thought about this for an hour, after they all left, and then my associate made up an analogy and then started sending emails out to demand the light to return. He's the facility manager and I kinda fell into his analogy.
The thinking? If you walked into a dentists office to have one tooth pulled and noted two gone at the conclusion....there's something wrong. I responded that if you pulled into a gas station and had your tires changed and only came out with three at the end....it'd be the same thing. We were tempted to continue on....with an analogy duel....but figured it wasn't worth it.
So I have these maintenance guys fighting back and claiming that they may have disabled the stupid red light, but it's not their job to hook the light back up. Meanwhile, I'm waiting for some guy in my organization to be standing near the door, and gets whacked. The Colonel will ask me what the heck is going on as we gurney the kid to Pentagon clinic for a possible concussion, and I'll have to relate this whole red light episode to him.
Frankly, I'll admit it's all kinda crazy, and that I'd like to put a Navy portal "hole" into each vault door.....letting you see the guy at the door and just forget this whole red light business. But naturally, you can't run around the Pentagon and tossing Navy portal-holes up on doors.....folks start getting nervous that we might be turning the whole building into a battleship.
And so it goes....another day at work.
Tuesday, 4 October 2011
The Hitler You Say
"It'd be like Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu."
-- Hank Williams, the country singer, responding to a Fox News Interview on the President playing golf with House Speaker John Boehner
This statement about Hitler apparently got the ESPN folks all upset, and they decided to dump the Hank Williams tune used for Monday Night NFL Football.
Naturally, this is going to upset a number of folks....who might just turn Monday night's game off and watch some reality show on the History Channel instead....like Pawn Stars.
It's comical how this plays out whenever you bring up Adolph Hitler in an analogy. Things typically go wrong. It's OK to compare with Jesus, Barry Bonds, Charles Manson, and even Cartman from Southpark....but Hitler is the 40-ton boat anchor on analogies. The curious thing is that Hitler has actually been dead for over sixty years.
Analogies with Hitler? From 1945 to around the early 1980s....you just never heard any analogy ever used with him. At some point in the 1980s....as talk-radio and commentary TV news arrived....some dimwits got around using a Hitler comparison about five or six times a year. My guess is that they got hooked onto Hitler in some fashion.....and it slipped into their chatty-chat vocabulary. If you stand around and watch MSNBC for a month......it always slips in at least once. The comical side of this episode here is that you ended up with a country-and-western singer making the Hitler analogy, which is kinda shocking.
My guess is that we eventually start to notice our barber making Hitler analogies......"....that's the kind of haircut that Hitler would give". Then one day....while at the mechanic's shop....you'll hear him comment on "....that's a brake job that Hitler would do". And finally, as you sit at the local bar and talk over your woes and sorrows.....the bartender will eventually say something like ".....you know Hitler would never stand for a wife like this." At that point, you'll throw up your arms....and say something like "damn that Hitler dude".
I think I'm all Hitlered out.
Oh, and if you didn't know this.....Hitler never....ever.....played a round of golf. If you were curious. Only in America.
-- Hank Williams, the country singer, responding to a Fox News Interview on the President playing golf with House Speaker John Boehner
This statement about Hitler apparently got the ESPN folks all upset, and they decided to dump the Hank Williams tune used for Monday Night NFL Football.
Naturally, this is going to upset a number of folks....who might just turn Monday night's game off and watch some reality show on the History Channel instead....like Pawn Stars.
It's comical how this plays out whenever you bring up Adolph Hitler in an analogy. Things typically go wrong. It's OK to compare with Jesus, Barry Bonds, Charles Manson, and even Cartman from Southpark....but Hitler is the 40-ton boat anchor on analogies. The curious thing is that Hitler has actually been dead for over sixty years.
Analogies with Hitler? From 1945 to around the early 1980s....you just never heard any analogy ever used with him. At some point in the 1980s....as talk-radio and commentary TV news arrived....some dimwits got around using a Hitler comparison about five or six times a year. My guess is that they got hooked onto Hitler in some fashion.....and it slipped into their chatty-chat vocabulary. If you stand around and watch MSNBC for a month......it always slips in at least once. The comical side of this episode here is that you ended up with a country-and-western singer making the Hitler analogy, which is kinda shocking.
My guess is that we eventually start to notice our barber making Hitler analogies......"....that's the kind of haircut that Hitler would give". Then one day....while at the mechanic's shop....you'll hear him comment on "....that's a brake job that Hitler would do". And finally, as you sit at the local bar and talk over your woes and sorrows.....the bartender will eventually say something like ".....you know Hitler would never stand for a wife like this." At that point, you'll throw up your arms....and say something like "damn that Hitler dude".
I think I'm all Hitlered out.
Oh, and if you didn't know this.....Hitler never....ever.....played a round of golf. If you were curious. Only in America.
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