Wednesday, 6 February 2013

Our Comic Book World

These days, we wait in anticipation of the comic book world of the Justice League to come and save us.

The New York Times will call upon Superman, aka President Obama, to deliver a speech which saves a thousand lives.

By tomorrow, the CNN crowd will call upon Batman, aka Senator Harry Reid, to just write 4,388 lines of text, which will save the poor folks in New Jersey after the woeful hurricane.

Next week, Fox News will call upon Robin, Representative Cantor, to deliver a 288 line bill to fix all the terrible problems with college tuition loans.

Later on in the week, the folks of California will call upon Wonder Woman, Representative Nancy Pelosi, to utilize her magic plane, magic lasso, and magic pen….to create a bill to save the whales off the coast of California and ensure no oil drilling.

Still later, will come folks to call for Lightning Lad, Representative Paul Ryan, to deliver a bill of 128 pages, which will feed starving kids in Wisconsin, clean rivers in Michigan, and help peanut farmers in Idaho.

Our belief, led on by the various media and blog groups…is that only the Justice League can save us from the terrible, woeful, and sorrowful mess we are encountering.

The truth? We might actually need to call up Doctor Doom, Lex Luther, and a bunch of bad guys….just to save us from the incompetence of the Justice League.

That Constitution

Some guy appeared on CBS this past week….a professor….suggesting it was finally time to say that the Constitution was outdated, and needed to be replaced.

Those rough, un-modern guys from the 1780s….just don’t match up to today’s atmosphere.

I sat and contemplated this effort…..to redraw the Constitution in 2013.

First, it’d have to be at least 4,200 pages long….to hide most of the rights that some wanted quietly fixed into their lifestyle….like robots ought to have rights, or no one can challenge a newspaper’s right to print what it wants, or the environment has rights.

Second, I’m not sure that you’d even have rights. We’d invent some new term that made you feel good, but frankly…might not hold much legitimacy in the real world.

Third, it’d likely lead off with “We, the society” instead of “We, the people”.

Fourth, we’d likely argue over sixty methods of voting and counting votes, and come to a conclusion that one vote doesn't really equal one vote.

Fifth, it’d be written at such a level that even a sixteen year old kid couldn't comprehend it or grasp what the importance of the document was all about.

Sixth and final…..we might not even be able agree with the 4,200 pages, and come to a conclusion within five years of doing it over again. That would say something about ‘set in stone’, and demonstrate the poor nature of society today.

Smoker Crazy?

There’s always a statistical health result that comes out each week, which kinda makes things interesting.

This week….the SAMHSA folks (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) came out and said that smoking goes up a bit ….with mentally ill folks (the crazy folks). Regular sane folks report a smoking trend of 21 percent of the population….while folks who reported symptoms consistent with mental illness….had a 36 percent trend.

They had dug down a good bit and report that crazy folks smoke around 331 cigarettes per month, while normal regular folks smoke 310 a month.

At some point toward the end of the newspaper release….they kind of admitted that if you were already in a mental institute or had alcohol or dope issues….they just didn't count you. So you had to be somewhat crazy, but not real crazy.

Making sense? Well….no.

The thing is….once you start posing these poll questions….folks get all confused. A really stable guy could sit there and answer some questions while he had NCAA thoughts or stress on his mind, then answer that he was mildly insane.

Over the years as a non-smoker, I can to this stance that you really needed to go out with the smokers to the smoke-pit and that was the best place to get all the daily knowledge that you needed. Course, I admit, there over the years…..I’ve known some crazy folks who never smoked, and some crazy folks who chain-smoked.

So I’m not really into some belief over the numbers. Frankly, I’m more likely to think that heavy nicotine calms the nerves of the crazy guys. Course, then I’d have to believe that maybe all folks are crazy, and the nicotine is helping all deal with their craziness.

Mr 46-Cent

I was given a threatening email yesterday by folks who work for my headquarters (part of the Pentagon structure).

The deal is this....up until September of last year, my office had a govenrment-purchase-card (a Visa card), which we used to buy necessary items for the office.  I admit, we did spend a bit each year....over $75k easily.

In September, the holder of this card....my associate....got a better job, and we closed the card.  He left. As the approving officer, I did the last approval and squared off the books in October.  I had no replacement for the guy. So the account was closed.  I couldn't even get access to it after the end of October.

Well...some time in December....some vendor felt right to give us a rebate to a purchase, and put 46-cents into that account.  Naturally, there's no one there to validate this and stamp it 'official'.

So the warning emails have been coming for a month, but I really haven't paid much attention. I admit....being the only guy left in a four-man office kind of limits my actions.  So I read yesterday's email, and it said in a very strong way....that they'd report me to the Chief of Staff of my headquarters....a one-star general....by Friday, if I didn't fix this.

I called up the kind ladies out in St Louis and laid out the issue.  Frankly, for 46-cents, I didn't really care, but if I don't have access....I can't stamp anything.  But come Friday, I expect this phone-call from the one-star general over my 46-cent issue.

I'm not sure what I will say.  Frankly....for 46-cents....I might not say much.

The problem here...is that you get nicknames from episodes like this.  You know....like that Fifty-cent rapper guy.  And I'd end up being Mr 46-cent.

Simply Observations

In case you didn't notice from yesterday....there's hints of the US government working up a taxation scheme on mary-j-u-wanna, since it's legal in a couple of states now.  The deal?  A fifty percent work-up on the stuff, and then a $1k fee a year if you are a grower, with a $500 fee a year for each business.  Yep, the fed's had to get back into the middle of this mess.  So the predicted outcome?  More illegal growth and illegal sales....because it'll end up being cheaper.  I admit, everything in the world ought to be taxed, but a fifty-percent tax rate?

Some British guy wrote a fictional piece on Adolph Hitler waking up from a suspended nap in modern times.  You'd think it'd be barely read...but apparently, it's taken off to be a best-seller.  I can almost predict this....another fictional piece written by the end of the year....Hitler's best dinner recipes.

For around six weeks this past year....a fancy-pants economic expert ran around Portugal ...talking up the terrible woes of austerity, during their economic mess.  He got invited to big-name parties in Portugal.  He did quotes for the national news.  He talked up his past work with the UN.  He was considered an absolute expert on economic issues....for around six brief weeks.  Then, it kind of came out....he was bogus.  No background in economics, and he even had a criminal background for conning folks.  Shock?  Well....the media that had used him just admitted that they were taken in, but not much else.  But here's the thing.  Any idiot can appear on CNN or ABC's This Week Show, and claim he's an expert on the economy, and you just automatically accept his words.  We might have hundred's of these fake expert economic figures, and not know it.

Finally, out in Colorado, some 2nd grade kid was suspended from school....for having an imaginary hand-grenade.  He did this during an episode of "save-the-world" on the school playground.  The school isn't saying much.  An imaginary hand-grenade?   Course, if he had an imaginary friend named George, who was a six-foot tall rabbit....nothing would have been said.  There's something not right here....but I would have to imagine that, and it's probably against the law.