Thursday, 21 February 2013

The Chinese Hackers

So this week, it came out that a Chinese military unit.....based out of Shanghai....unit 61398....is responsible for all the hacking done in America for the most part.

It's an interesting thing.  We actually know the building....the address...etc.

The reason for publishing the info?  Well.....this gets to be interesting.  It came from an American company who studies hacking, and they used all their resources apparently and tracked down every last detail.

The US cyber military guys?  It's about a ninety-nine percent chance that they already knew all of this.  They probably have pictures of every single guy leaving the building, and probably know the homes where they live.  They might even have the cellphone numbers, the car-tags  and the shopping habits of all these guys.

So you can imagine General Chin coming into work this week, and all upset.  He calls for a meeting of all the sub-general's in the building.

So fifteen odd generals sit at this table....with General Chin all disturbed.  "How these American rascals know our building?"

General Rin-Rin responds....."CIA tracks us daily....they know our hanky-panky girls....they know our bar habits....they probably bug our bathrooms".

Everyone is unsettled by this.  The room quietens.

General Chin: "Maybe we shut down....move everything to Xilin Gol (the bonie of bonies for Chinese folks)....build new data building."

Everyone starts to grumble now.  No hanky-panky bars in Xilin Gol, and you might be lucky to find a any kind of booze out there.

Then General Wap-Chin responds....maybe we dispatch all our hackers to entire world, and use Starbucks free Wi-Fi to hook up and hack.  Do hour here, move, and then hour there.  Never stay in one spot.

Everyone is pretty peppy about this idea.  Bunch of guys could end up in Amsterdam or Rome, with hot western gals.

Months later, it's quietly discovered by General Chin....that this Starbucks idea was all conceived by the CIA and that every single hacker's laptop was intercepted and loaded with a virus.  The hacker unit is disgraced.

Well....it could happen like that.

I'm guessing this will be read by the guys at the 61398th.  They will sit and laugh a bit....knowing General Chin.....and then sip some of their Starbucks coffee.  They'd really not want the operation moved to Xilin Gol.

Who Shot JR, Day 3,232

On 21 March of 1980....the show Dallas did an unusual thing.  They ended the season with JR being shot.  For an entire spring and summer, everyone sat there.....discussing the matter, and it weighed upon their mind....daily.  On 21 November of 1980....Dallas came to air the long-awaited episode....where we learned that JR's sister-in-law and mistress was the one who actually shot him.  It was finally relief.  We needed a conclusion.

Since the late 1990s....we've entered another phase of American life which relates fairly close to the JR shooting episode.....with Americans glued to the TV and wondering how this political saga ends.  Then you learn that the script changed slightly.....went into a different direction.....and you wait for the next end point, where it doesn't really end.

In my mind, we are now on day 3,232....of a political "Who Shot JR" episode. We watch the Today Show with Matt, and get a piece or two of political stuff.  We will ride into work.... listening to the some guy discuss the terrible state of the American economy.  Later in the day....we will listen to Rush Limbaugh.  As we drive home.....we catch more saga.  At home, we watch an hour of MSNBC and feel the terrible Republicans are destroying America.  Then later, we catch an hour of O'Reilly, to discover the President is destroying the nation.  And later on 60 Minutes, we find out that things seem OK, but they really aren't.

The nifty thing of 21 November 1980....was that we came to a conclusion.  Today, there just isn't a conclusion.  We simply go to tomorrow and start the next day of terrible woes, terrible T-Party gossip, terrible Democratic corruption, and terrible Republican water-sipping.

Tomorrow?  Day 3,233.  We can expect more of the same.

There's something wrong here....but unless you just turned it all off, and stuck to episodes of Andy Griffith, NCAA football, and the History Channel with the Amish Mafia.....there's no way to escape the madness.

Espresso

It was probably one of those rare events in life.  Some guy walks into a Washington state Starbucks, puts down his own personal 52-ounce coffee mug, and then orders.

The request?  48 shots of espresso, a bit of protein powder, two chopped up bananas, some caramel drizzle Frappuccino chips, some vanilla and a bit of soy. The guy ended up calling this a "Quadriginoctuple Frap."

It was roughly forty-seven bucks for the mixture.

Typically, if you do a double dose of real espresso....it'll perk you up and keep you going for an hour or two.  A dose of forty-eight shots?  If you were over the age of forty....just in average condition.....I would suspect that you would have fairly good chance of a heart-attack within the next three hours after consuming this drink.

Around ten years ago in Ireland....some young guy....in his late teens....after soccer practice had consumed a dozen Red-Bulls.  He had a heart-attack and died right there.

What you tend to see today is these idiots who think that anyone that is legally sold....can be consumed in vast quantities   If it was a bad thing....someone would stop you.

Eventually, some twelve year old kid will read through the internet....get the idea of consuming fifteen espressos.....all made in mom's kitchen with her own machine, and die on the bus to school.  Congress will meet, and pass laws to forbid the sale of espressos.  Everyone will get all hyper....discussing the unnecessary nature of Congress getting involved in espresso drinks.  Even the President will come out to talk up esspresso-control and how we need to save people from their own stupidity.

This is how things tend to go.

A Bold New Era

Some newspaper today picked up the topic of whether doctors ought to recommend people now smoke marijuana.  With several states now running the legit sales.....the question will start up....when does a doctor now cross the line and tell someone to smoke a joint.

First, you have a fair number of doctors....who've never smoked dope and have no real knowledge of how it ought to used or the occasions that it fits.  Most medical colleges really didn't dive into this topic much when the doc was in school.

Then, you have the question of medical studies.  To be honest, there are probably ten thousand studies over the past two decades with the use of marijuana, but you have to ask if they are legit, or just some guy who had $50k for a study and just produced worthless information for the heck of it.

Then, you have the people who continually hype up their neighbors.....it's good for backaches....it's good for headaches....it's good for falling asleep.  So you will have a guy showing up at the doctor's office....saying Joe recommended the stuff....but there's this twenty minutes discussion over whether Joe knows anything.

Guys will sit there and ask stupid questions.  Can you smoke a joint and operate a lawnmower?  Can you smoke while drinking beer?  Can you do an ounce of weed or do you need six ounces of weed?  Will Big-D weed be better than Texas Red-eye?  Can you smoke a joint in the same room with your hunting dog or your cat?  Will weed stunt your growth?  Will weed trigger flashbacks of NAM...even if you never went to NAM?

At some point....Doctor Phil will have to bring on an expert to help folks.

We are entering a bold new era.....where guys will think that a bit of weed might do just about anything.