Saturday, 13 January 2018

If Carlin were Alive

At some point in 1972, comedian George Carlin uttered the phrase which has stood around for almost forty years: "There are seven words you can never say on television.  The words are: s**t, p**s, f**k, c**t, co**ksu**er, motherf***er, and t*ts."

At some point around 1978, I bought the George Carlin record at the base BX, and I sat and heard the entire dialog.  I came to agree with George.  These were phrases which would never be uttered.

Well....up until this week with "s**t-hole supposedly uttered by Trump (maybe he said, maybe he didn't).  But then you had to sit and listen to CNN.  In a one-hour period, the term sh**hole was uttered at least fifteen times. 

Carlin, if he were alive today....would rolling around and laughing his ass off at the news media and the ability to quickly adapt to profane terms as being legit.  Trump?  I think he's got some masterplan existing now on how to insert c**t, f**k and t*ts into the next mid-week meeting and see how quickly the news media would bend any moral standing to utter the phrases.

It'll be some topic related to c**t-countries, or f**king poor behavior by some Asian dictator. 

The world is forever changed now. 

Alabama, Letterman, and Niceness

I follow Alabama news to some degree and noted this week that as part of some trendy new show for Netflix....David Letterman (former night-time TV show host) ended up coming down to Alabama for a tour of the Selma area by Georgia Congressman John Lewis.

The constructed vehicle for this episode is semi-serious, so Letterman can't joke around much.  But I noted in the comments section that he was awful surprised at how nice and gracious folks were to him.  He wasn't expecting that.  Course, if he'd asked the folks if they recognized him....beard and all....I suspect more than fifty-percent would have said no...that they just are nice to people in general.

So this brings up this odd topic of Alabama behavior that few ever admit to or recognize as some trait.

Some folks will say that it's all that church-stuff that reinforces public niceness.  Some would suggest it's something left over from the depression era and the 1930s.  Some would suggest that it's the fact that Alabama folks missed out on radical periods and that being civil/respectful is the result of that.

The truth is that most folks around the state can be awful sympathetic, good-natured, and diplomatic.  It's true, you might drive up and lay out some poor woeful story over your wife leaving you and your cousin might be real diplomatic and attentive in hearing the ninety-minute story, then offer you several shots of whiskey and urge you to attend church....mostly because that's where all the single women hang out and you can rebound.  We call that attitude of the cousin....true diplomacy.

Maybe you got some catastrophic story of the car transmission failing for the second time in twelve months.  As a neighbor, I'd try my best to soften the pain by offering a beer, and then suggesting that a Honda product would be a good replacement for the Ford.

When folks get into a sad situation, we Alabamians often tend to look on the bright side and suggest prayer and a shot of something.

My worry here with Letterman visiting and having this idea of folks being so nice....is that it'll all get back to those Hollywood and New York folks, and then suddenly they all want to show up and get some niceness and kindness dished out to them in abundance.  Some idiot will start up a Alabama-rehab program (probably will be called the Bentley-program) for crazy Hollywood folks, and then the whole state attitude will come crashing down.

So my final word and advice....mostly for Alabama folks....always be prepared as you walk into a Piggly Wiggly or a Catfish Cabin restaurant, because Letterman might be standing there, and you need to quickly utter the phrase..."How you doing", and don't let on that you don't recognize the guy.

Trump's Suggestion of Norwegians

During this meeting where Trump said (or perhaps never said) the word 's**thole' and noted the issues with people from such countries....he then turned to suggest the US ought to have more people from Norway.

I sat and pondered over this.  While I've never been to Norway (it's on my list), I've seen enough travel documentary pieces and read enough on the Norwegians to have some views.  This idea of bringing more Norwegians into the US has a negative angle to it. 

1.  Over the past decade, with success and stress....Norway has slowly become a major drug empire.  It's generally rated as the number two place in Europe for drug-related deaths.  So the odds are, if you had a hundred Norwegians entering the US....you'd probably have to drug-test them and discover that 10-percent are dopers.

2.  Drinking to excess.  Well, yeah....most all folks in the Nordic area (to include those Swedes and Danes as well)....drink excessively.  The state taxes the heck out of hard booze and probably helps to prevent some major issues, but you just cross the line with beer instead.  You might not want to let some Norwegians into the US who'd just get into serious trouble because of their drunken status.

3.  Prejudice values.  Folks in Norway tend to brag about their ability to accept social changes (gays, blacks, weird religions, etc).  The problem with this is that it's basically centered around Oslo, Bergen, and maybe four other major cities in the country of five million.  Once you cross the urban line of those major areas.....you find yourself in small communities where they aren't quiet as accepting as their city-brothers.  Yeah, you might find yourself a fair number of bigots, racists, and extremist characters.  You probably wouldn't want members of this crowd in the US.

4.  Generally, if you watch the travel documentary pieces....just about anything that requires extreme manual labor or is classified as 'nasty-work'....is not performed by a Norwegian.  If you have a construction site.....a fair number of the workers will be Poles.  If you have some clean-up crew for a train, it'll be foreigners who've come into Norway, and been hired.  Norwegians don't do sh**work or things that are beneath their status in life.

5.  Generally, if you bring up suppression of people around the world....Norway gets on the list because of the treatment of native people to the north of the country....the Sami folks. In a way, up until the late 1970s....they were pretty harsh on this group of Norwegians. 

6.  Finally, you come to this issue of personal debt.  Norway is a pretty successful country and to provide all the services that you see....they tax the heck out of people.  There's the twenty-five percent sales tax....right off the bat, that you notice.  The hefty income tax takes a chunk of money.  For smokes and booze....more taxes.  So the government gives you a lot of free stuff, but if you were a working-class guy, there's a limited lifestyle ahead of you.  All of this leads to folks borrowing money to enjoy a few extras in life, and it becomes a major habit, which leads onto significant debt facing most Norwegians. 

I'm not saying most Norwegians are trouble-makers...far from it.  But if you had a hundred Norwegians at the door and knocking to come in, you might want to evaluate folks and determine that twenty-percent probably should be denied.  It might even go past the twenty-percent point. 

Friday, 12 January 2018

How to Recognize That You Live in a S**thole

I don't profess to have a PhD or have been a member of some s**thole foundation....but I've traveled enough to note general circumstances.  This is how to recognize your community, city or county has fallen, and can't get up:

1.  A large segment of the local population think that the overall leadership is corrupted.  Maybe not fifty-percent or more....but to the idea that one out of every three people think the authority in charge can't make ethical decisions anymore.

2.  To accomplish s**thouse status, you really need a news media which refuses to address the problems. This usually means that murders are on page six...that no one ever discusses or writes a story about white-flight where folks leave a city or region....or that some corrupted city or state official was arrested on bribery charges. 

3.  Jobs tend to disappear.  Companies start to add up the cost on security, or the problems in recruiting employees, or the decaying neighborhood around their headquarters or production center.  Unemployment jumps above ten-percent, and stays above ten-percent.

4.  Drug usage escales.  People are disconnected from society and hope for the future.  They need something to tranquilize them, and a couple hours of some decent high will help alleviate the frustration of living in a s**thole.

5.  Robbery increases.  It might be nickle-and-dime situations....some guy breaking into your garage.  Some kid stealing your co-worker's car at the gas station.  Maybe even some dynamic duo breaking into your business one night and just spray-painting the whole interior with some special theme-message.

6.  Cops don't care.  Rather than work on crime....they focus on public events, traffic tickets, and speeders.  They know that the prosecution folks won't do much of anything, and the judges would prefer not to handle public cases.

7.  Murders ramp up.  Maybe your 150,000 residence city went through two decades with just a dozen murders a year, and that was the norm.  Then something 'clicks', and you wake up to see the 20th murder by August, and the mayor talking about more cops. 

8.  You start to notice either in city parks or along the streets themselves....more folks just hanging out, and drinking from 10 AM on.  It's not just twenty-odd folks anymore....but a hundred or two-hundred hanging out and sipping booze all day long.

9.  You start to notice more graffiti on public streets. 

10.  People start talking about massive renovation to upgrade away from s**thole status, but then the money cost comes up and you realize that the tax base is no longer existing to fix the problems and you are simply climbing deeper into debt. 

My Top S**thole Cities in the US

This is my list....other folks would have a different view.

1.  Detroit.  Up until the 1970s....it was a pretty good metropolitan area.  Since the 1990s....it's a s**thole.  There's entire neighborhoods of empty houses sitting there.

2.  East St Louis.  I've driven through the area once (needing to ship my car overseas).  There's just not much you can say about the town.  It's a s**thole.

3.  Birmingham, Alabama.  Back in the 1970s, you probably could have driven through and said it was a middle-class town.  Cocaine came, incompetent city management, crime, murder, etc.  It's a real s**thole today.  It's a place where you don't leave the interstate unless it's a real emergency or you need to fly out of the airport.

4.  Memphis.  There are a couple of neighborhoods and areas of the city where it's still safe and reasonable.  Most of the city though...is a s**thole.

5.  Up until the 1990s, Atlanta was in this growth and boom period.  Since the crime and mass urbanization period, most big organizations (including the Braves) are in the process of moving out of the city. 

6.  Baltimore.  Based on the murder rate, and crime....you don't go anywhere other than the downtown harbor area where cops are out in force.  They spent the last twenty years making this a major s**thole.

7.  Stockton, CA.  I traveled through the area back in the mid-1980s and kinda thought it was mostly a middle-class, working-class town.  You go and look at murders and crime today....it's a four-star s**thole.

8.  Cleveland.  Basically, the city died in the 1970s.  In 1950, they were near 915,000 residents....today, it's near 395,000 and shrinking.  It'll probably hit 250,000 by 2025.  By 2050, I think the city will actually reach 100,000 in population. 

9.  Buffalo.  Businesses left the area in the 1970s and 1980s.  There's just no reason to remain in the local area.

10.  New Orleans.  The curious thing here is that there is a  mile-by-mile area in the party district of town where you might want to stop off and have a couple of drinks and enjoy the festive attitude of the area.  But once you venture out of the protected area....this is mostly a s**thole.

Sh**hole Countries, Sh**hole Cities

After watching the news this morning and getting the hyped-up talk by the news media, I sat and paused over the President's words.....concerning sh**hole countries.

First, I've been to a couple of sh**hole countries in my life.  These are typically places where you fly into the airport....get a taxi and go immediately to where you need to be, and you don't venture too much beyond the 'safe' zone.  You drink only bottled water that you can trust.  You avoid cops because they are heavily corrupted.  You avoid the local beer or alcohol because they might not be pure or safe.  You generally keep your shot-records current and worry about getting TB from these sh**hole countries (I already went through the TB medication process after getting TB from such a country). 

Second, as much as people talk about sh**hole countries....I even talk about sh**hole cities. These are cities that you don't drive through after dark....stop at ATM machines....refuel your car at any gas station, and you tote a pistol within the car.  You worry about your car being stolen as you pull up to refuel.  You note the murder rates within the city and listen to the mayor talk about more police....then you watch as cops refuse to really do much to stop the killing.

Third, sh**hole countries are places that typically don't get big conferences, world fairs, or Olympic sport/World Cup situations. 

Fourth, go ask about resort options at the local travel office for sh**hole countries.  Watch the travel agent just grin, and ask if you been smoking any good weed.

Fifth, go ask about protected hotel compounds in sh**hole countries.  I worked with a guy who got this great deal on a resort hotel....five-star rating, in a sh**hole country.  He flew in....walked ten feet from the airport into a bus, which drove straight to the protected compound.  Fantastic place.  Great food.  Free booze (cocktails and beer) were part of the deal for two weeks.  Guards roamed the perimeter and ensured safety and no robberies.  Never once did he venture beyond the protected area.  Came back with great words over the hotel, the beaches, and the staff there.  As long as you didn't venture beyond the protected area, it was fine.

Sixth, go and ask yourself....why do sh**hole countries exist?  It's mostly because these folks never reach a crisis stage where revolution occurs.  They never truly overthrow their regime or dictators.  They just keep living on the edge of society, and accept it.

Seventh, go and ask journalists....why don't you go and report from sh**hole countries?  Go and do on-the-scene interviews.  Ask about garbage pick-up. Ask folks about the cops and safety.  Go and ask about the hazards of life in the sh**hole country.

My advice for the journalists hyping this....if you had to go and pick something to jump down on Trump about and talk about forty-eight hours straight, boy....did you pick the wrong topic.   Most Americans who've done military time and gone to the sh**hole countries will vouch for Trump's words.  Such countries exist and they just aren't places that you'd desire to go and spend a week.

Wednesday, 3 January 2018

Three Observations

There's three things that I came to note this morning which lead me to pondering:

1.  The Today Show finally announced Matt Lauer's replacement (since he had to leave in a hurry)....some gal by the name of Hoda Kotb.  Around the studio, they seemed all excited.  Now they can continue on.

I paused at this point and kinda wondered....what exactly will Hoda bring to the table to make this all exciting?  Course, I asked that with Matt as well.  It amazed me that they were always willing to pay Matt more than 2-million dollars a month for what he did.

I look at most of the morning shows on TV at 7 AM and grade the majority to be 'coffee-journalism'....rather light and geared for mostly housewife mentality folks.

2.  This button-talk with Mr Kim of North Korea.  Kim says he has finally acquired a nuke button. My immediate take on this.....where do you buy nuke-buttons or did he have some Kim-technician manufacture the button?

I'm guessing out there in the real world, there are engineers working hard each day to develop a 'cool' and professional nuke-button that would be eagerly bought by Trump, Kim, Macron, Putin, etc.

At some point in the Kim-talk....he noted his nuke-button was in the office.  I'd be a bit worried on that issue because the cleaning lady could come through in the after-hours, and dust up around the button....then accidentally hit it.  The 3,000 nuke-support folks would see this red-light come on and assume the real Mister Kim hit the button, and then run to launch their one-and-only nuke missile.  Things go downhill at that point.

3.  I kinda noticed in the news that this Joshua Boyle character....the guy held by the Taliban in Afghanistan for a couple of years with his wife.....had gotten himself arrested yesterday.

Boyle was all worried and stressed out in early statements after getting out of Taliban-control that the US would arrest him.  The thing is.....he could never explain why.

The cops arresting him now?  Well....it's Canadian cops.  Yeah.  The charges?  Two charges of assault (no one says who he assaulted), one charge involving a death-threat (usually something taken serious), and some charge over giving the drug Trazodone to someone.  Trazodone is usually for anxiety or stress issues, or to get you into a sleep rhyme. In simple terms....a downer. It's a prescription drug and I'm only guessing here that he had some pills and simply gave one to a friend.  It's not a charge that would usually get you into big jail-time.  But the assault charges?  Well...that's a different story.

The thing about Boyle is that he and his wife were held as prisoners for five years.  It's a miserable five years and I think he was extremely affected by the episode.  As much as he was worried over getting arrested in the US....it's an odd aspect that the statement did come true but in Canada instead, and mostly through his own actions.