Saturday, 15 July 2023

Ten Things I'd Do To Fix Bud-Light

 1. I'd change the name to Bud-Max...adding 12 calories, and some mystery element called 'number-7'.  

2.  I'd try to get the US Marines signed up to proclaim it the US Marines-preferred-beer.

3.  I'd offer a $10 discount coupon for steaks, if you buy a case of Bud.

4.  Arrange for some unfortunate accident at the top ten beer brewery operations in a 30-day period....leaving people with only Bud-Light.

5.  Arrange for Santa Claus to go public and declare Bud as his preferred beer....mostly because he's overweight and needs to select fewer calorie situations.

6.  Develop a character called 'Bud Marvin Light' who was secretly developing the beer back in the 1970s, and sold his recipe to the brew guys for $66.

7.  Have a guy who wakes up from a coma to realize how Bud Light got tangled up in this mess.

8.  Develop an alien-UFO commercial where they accidentally crash into a Bud truck in Arizona and get a taste for the beer.

9.  Have a VP Harris-character-look-alike, who drinks a Bud beer and suddenly makes perfect sense in her use of commentary.

10.  Have a Chinese undercover agent in the Bud brewery commercial....who gets the secret....brings Bud to the masses in China, and suddenly everyone is pro-Bud there.

2 comments:

Bigus Macus said...

No one would believe #9.

LargeMarge said...

I wonder... I wonder if the legitimization of marijuana substances is diverting customers.
Instead of "Let's get buzzed on Bud", customers are switching to "Let's get buzzed on bud but not Bud".
.
Number Nine:
That brand is down the tubes.
Shee-oot, babies in utero are convinced she is in the dictionary under 'bimbo'.
A double-entry -- harris is also under 'diversity hire'.