Dear Attorney General Sessions
After reading up on the hiring program of the US Attorney General's office to recruit 'observers' on US national elections, I would like to forward my resume. I would like to apply to be a fake Democrat in the 2020 election and help to be a 'sleeper agent', 'mole', or 'plant' (you may use whatever term is appropriate).
I am willing to work sixteen-hour shifts, although I am particular about having breakfast between seven and eight AM. Also, my limit on air-travel is six hours in a day, unless I'm flying business-class.
Having reviewed the pay schedule for your previous 'moles', I believe $7,000 per week is a fair sum (with four-star hotels approved as part of the package deal).
If you want me to pass along fake data or false assumption, I would have no problem in doing so.
I believe my background would give me the ability to pass along fake information, useless political chatter, and help to facilitate an investigative counselor for the next administration.
Yours truly,
X
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